A recurring question my consulting clients ask me about dating is: “Why can’t I find anyone who is a good fit for me?” My response is often something along the lines of, “In what ways are you ready to find someone wonderful?” The idea in dating is to look at yourself and build self-awareness so that you’re as healthy as possible and ready to attract great people. Let’s look at a few dating conundrums and possible things you can do to move in a different direction:
1. I keep going out with bad boys/girls. Different direction: I get myself healthy enough to recognize that it’s OK to treat myself well and go out with positive people.
2. I feel lonely. Different direction: I actively work on things that resolve why I am lonely and emphasize learning about myself before dating.
3. Where can I meet people? Different direction: When you get yourself healthy and do the things you love you move in circles where you attract people who are like you.
4. All men/women are terrible. Different direction: There are a lot of great people out there we just need to learn to accept them into our lives and be healthy enough to encourage good people to go out with us.
Dating is ultimately what you make it because you have a lot of control over where it goes. When you’re aware of how your thinking and behaviors affect your dating approach you’ll be able to connect with amazing people rather than repeating the same patterns. What will you do to build your self-awareness and improve your dating life?
Cheers,
Guy