The Self-Awareness Guy

Leadership, Lack of Self-Awareness, and Workplace Communication - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Leadership, Lack of Self-Awareness, and Workplace Communication

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Most leaders will tell you that communication is vital to a well-functioning workplace. Then they demonstrate their lack of self-awareness by screaming, ignoring, dominating, misunderstanding or annoying their employees. There is a huge gap between what leaders say they know about effective communication and what they actually practice. Here are five of the biggest workplace communication mistakes.

1.  Not listening. How can you gather the information you need or figure out what is going on in your workplace if you don’t listen? You can’t. Listening is the most vital skill to acquire information, promote collaboration and build trust in the workplace.

2.  Assuming you know what the other person is going to say. Cutting people off because you’ve “heard it all before” or you’re irritated is a great way to tell your employees they don’t matter. Try listening to your employees without interrupting before you decide you know what they’re talking about.

3.  Thinking of the next thing you want to say instead of what the other person is saying. Many leaders are obsessed with the next wonderful thing they’re going to say. Fight this urge by clearing your mind before and while you’re listening to your employees and focusing on understanding what they’re saying.

4.  Getting angry or upset and reacting negatively to what you’re hearing. Your employees will be much less likely to share information or ideas with you if you always fly off the handle. Communication doesn’t have to be a constant struggle. Work on controlling your own emotions so you can communicate on a deeper level with your employees.

5.  Not setting aside time to talk. Hurried conversations often end up in misunderstandings because the participants haven’t devoted the time necessary to get on the same page. Make sure your important conversations are carried out with plenty of time for each participant to understand what’s being said.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these five concepts? If so, no worries, simply make small adjustments to develop your self-awareness and move toward a more balanced communication style that will get you better results. Effective communication is about practicing positive behaviors every day, not just saying you do. What will you do to increase your self-awareness and practice effective communication?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Choose Courage over Fear - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Choose Courage over Fear

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Self-awareness helps you choose courage over fear because life has a way of creating challenging situations whether you want them or not. When these difficult circumstances present themselves you have a choice as to whether you think and behave based on fear or courage. Each approach leads you in a different direction and only one helps you live a more balanced, happy life. Lets look at a few examples of the difference between the two:

Fear: I’ve always done it this way.
Courage: I can try something new.

Fear: I hate change.
Courage: I see change as an opportunity.

Fear: That issue is too daunting and complex.
Courage: I can resolve the issue little by little.

Fear: I need to control everything and everyone around me.
Courage: I’m fine with letting go of control.

Fear: That’s unfamiliar and strange.
Courage: I can learn something from it.

Fear: Self-awareness is for people who eat granola.
Courage: I’m willing to learn about myself and others.

Living in fear limits your opportunities while thinking and acting with courage helps you deal with any situation that comes your way. The idea in life is to think and behave in ways that help you be more flexible and resilient, not less. What will you do to develop self-awareness so you can choose courage over fear?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Getting Rid of the Negative Messages in Your Head - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Getting Rid of the Negative Messages in Your Head

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Self-awareness can help you get rid of the negative messages in your head because, when you get to know yourself well and understand your strengths and areas for improvement, you’re able to make adjustments to move in a more positive direction.

Have you ever met someone who seems to have strong self-esteem but depends on someone else for his or her happiness or behaves in ways that don’t lead in a positive direction? We all do things on an unconscious level that keep us from succeeding. The messages you learned early in life can hold you back and keep you from achieving what you want. The good news is that you can change those messages by following some basic steps.

  1. Identify the message. Ask yourself, “Where did this message begin.”
  2. Ask yourself if the message is true. For example, do you really not deserve to succeed?
  3. Think of the opposite of the message and do that instead. Make it a positive message that gets you where you want to go.
  4. Every time a negative, limiting message comes into your head do these steps until it is gone.

It will take you some time to get good at changing your messages but you will do it if you stick with it over time. Plan on spending at least 30 days practicing the new behavior and then check in with yourself to see how you’re doing. You may be very happy with the results. If you’re not, it looks like you have another message to work on. What will you do to build your self-awareness and get rid of the negative messages in your head?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Can Help You Practice Effective Team Building - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Can Help You Practice Effective Team Building

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A lot of leaders and organizations want to practice effective team building but don’t have the self-awareness to actually do it. I often hear people in workplaces saying things out loud that illustrate why they aren’t building teams, but they’re not aware they’re doing it. People have beliefs hardwired inside them that they don’t even realize get in the way of bringing employees together and encouraging them to collaborate. Here are ten of the most prevalent beliefs that show a lack of self-awareness and that block team building.

  1. They’ll never get along. If you believe people won’t get along they’ll prove you right almost every time.
  2. We’re rugged individualists. Individuals functioning in this way aren’t as adept at working in teams as people who believe in collaboration.
  3. If you want it done right do it yourself. If you’re doing everything it leaves your team stranded and feeling like they can’t do anything right.
  4. Teams must have a strong leader. It’s often the strong leader that gets in the way of everyone having a voice and participating actively.
  5. Collaboration was fine in kindergarten but this is the real world. If you believe this then I know how you practice team building.
  6. Everybody has a specific job. This keeps people firmly in their boxes and discourages creativity.
  7. Team building is secondary to productivity. Many leaders overlook the idea that if you build a strong foundation of high-functioning teams you become more productive.
  8. Team building is too touchy-feely. Leaders who believe this create workplaces that only allow three feelings: forced happiness, fear and anger.
  9. I don’t have to participate. Nothing says you lack commitment to team building than not participating in it with your employees.
  10. I don’t have time for team building. This is like saying you don’t have time to build a roof over your building because you’ve got to get to work and then it rains and soaks everything.

Self-aware leaders understand that team building is a vital building block to create workplaces where people interact positively and help each other get things done. The way you actually build teams is to have the self-awareness to objectively review and understand the team building strengths and areas for improvement in your workplace and take action in small increments over time. You might offer ongoing team building training or provide opportunities for people to work together to solve problems. Some organizations form brainstorming groups that tackle thorny issues. The idea is to gradually build a workplace where working collaboratively is encouraged. What will you do to create a culture of self-awareness and team building in your organization?

Cheers,

Guy

How Self-Awareness Can Help Me - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How Self-Awareness Can Help Me

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If you’ve ever searched online for, “How self-awareness can help me,” then you’re likely on the path to trying to learn more about yourself.

Self-awareness is a vital skill to improve your life. It can help you experience greater happiness, productivity, and fulfillment.

Here are some ways self-awareness can help you:

  • You’re able to identify your feelings and use them to help you live more effectively.
  • You understand why you think certain things and how you can focus on thinking positively.
  • You behave in ways that that indicate you understand who you are as well as being able to keep other people’s needs in mind.
  • You’re able to feel good about yourself.
  • You treat others with empathy and kindness.
  • You’re constantly improving as a person.
  • You’re able to get past the things that hold you back.
  • You’re able to heal your past hurts and move forward positively.
  • You feel genuinely happy inside.
  • You feel a sense of fulfillment and balance.
  • You do things that are meaningful.
  • You have positive relationships.
  • You make the world a better place for yourself and others.

Self-awareness is the key to living a well-rounded, fulfilling, happy life. It’s the difference between living unconsciously and consciously. Start working today on building your self-awareness and you’ll be on your way to truly enjoying your time on this planet.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Can Help You Talk about Difficult Topics - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Can Help You Talk about Difficult Topics

/ / Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

Self-awareness can help you talk about difficult topics with others because, the more you know yourself, the better able you are to have complex conversations with others.

There’s a frequently recited adage that you shouldn’t talk about religion and politics in polite company, advice created by people who don’t know how to talk about charged topics without getting angry or hurt. The key to effective communication is for the participants to have the self-awareness to realize that other people’s ideas, beliefs, values and opinions aren’t necessarily an attack on their own, just another perspective. Here are some ideas that will help you talk about difficult issues in your personal or professional life:

  • Go in with good intentions. Keep an open mind and engage in the conversation with the idea that you’re going to learn something and that you’ll do everything you can to make sure things go well.
  • Assume the other person isn’t trying to hurt you. Interact based on the premise that you’re having a positive two-way conversation, not that you’re walking into a life-threatening ambush.
  • Listen to the other person. Don’t talk, interrupt or give your opinion, just listen actively and learn about the other person’s point of view whether you agree with it or not.
  • Practice self-awareness. Be aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions and manage them so you don’t get angry or defensive.
  • Stay calm. Communication doesn’t have to be a contact sport, it can be calm and pleasant.
  • Resist the urge to fight back. Increase your chances of interacting positively by keeping yourself under control.
  • Avoid participating in an argument. Look at the conversation as an opportunity to learn about another perspective instead of creating conflict.
  • Realize the other person’s point of view is just a point of view. No matter what someone says, it doesn’t mean that you have to change your values or beliefs.
  • Know when to back off. Sometimes people aren’t ready or able to talk about a certain topic. Let them know you’re available to talk when they’re ready.

Individuals who understand and master these skills are able to talk about any issue because their communication style shifts from confrontational to actively listening to what other people are saying. Virtually nothing someone else says merits an explosive reaction unless you decide it does. The key to effective communication is to move from reacting viscerally to consciously working on listening, learning and getting along with the other person. What will you do to increase your self-awareness so you’re able to talk about difficult topics?

Cheers,

Guy

Using Self-Awareness to Overcome Your Fears - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Using Self-Awareness to Overcome Your Fears

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

You can use self-awareness to overcome your fears because, the more you understand your emotions, thoughts, and actions, the easier it is to not be scared of things.

Fear often keeps us repeating the same patterns, even to the extent of repeating behaviors we dislike. We get stuck doing the same thing over and over and don’t see a way out. Overcoming fears is a challenge we avoid because we tend to hang on to the familiar rather than the unknown.

The paradoxical thing is that the unknown can often lead us in new and wonderful directions we couldn’t even imagine when we started out. Facing your fears is a matter of finding out what they are, where they come from and taking action to move in a different direction. Here is what some smart people have to say about the subject.

Bonaro W. Overstreet

Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make it easier for people to accept themselves, to like themselves.

Don Miguel Ruiz:

Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.

Dorothy Thompson:

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

Eleanor Roosevelt:

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. What will you do to use your self-awareness to move beyond fear?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy