The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Welcome Uncertainty and Doubt - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Welcome Uncertainty and Doubt

Many leaders who lack self-awareness run around like the sky is falling instead of realizing that uncertainty and doubt can be excellent opportunities to reevaluate and make positive changes. It seems like many workplaces function on doubt, doom and gloom. The ironic thing is that uncertainty and doubt can actually be catalysts for building self-awareness and creating great workplaces. Here’s what some smart people say about the subject:

Alfred Korzybski:

There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.

Andre Gide:

Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Erich Fromm:

Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.

Frank Crane:

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

As a leader, you have the ability to focus in any way you see fit. You can pretend to know everything and make decisions based on ego or you can be open to new information and change.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and welcome uncertainty and doubt?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Try Not to Be the Problem in Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Try Not to Be the Problem in Relationships

People who lack self-awareness frequently become part of the problem in interpersonal relationships rather than helping devise a solution. This happens because they lose perspective and let other people goad them into conflict or chaos. Look at these scenarios and see if you can spot the difference between being part of the problem and not:

1. The other person gets angry and you immediately retaliate and/or defend yourself.

2. The other person gets angry and you ask them to tell you about it and you listen.

Guess which approach is more likely to get better results? There is a myth that we have to fight for our point of view and deny others theirs but this only perpetuates a communication style that is based on lack of self-awareness and perpetual conflict. If one person wins then the other loses. I much prefer for each person to win.

One of the best ways to reduce confrontation is to simply listen. The world is not going to end if you don’t retaliate or fight. In reality, you actually connect more with the other person if you just listen to them. You also benefit from not fighting.

People like to be valued and listened to and they are much more likely to work with you to resolve problems if they trust you to not trample all over them. The next time you feel a clash coming on, try listening to the other person without commenting, editorializing or offering your opinion. By doing this you will be setting the foundation for improved communication in the future.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and reduce conflict in your relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

What Is Self-Awareness? The Definition of Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

What Is Self-Awareness? The Definition of Self-Awareness

People frequently ask me, “What is self-awareness,” or what the definition of self-awareness is. Here are a few important elements of self-awareness I’ve noticed over years of coaching and facilitating workshops:

  1. The ability to understand how your thoughts, feelings and actions affect not only you but also the people around you.
  2. The ability to heal your hurts.
  3. The ability to think, feel and behave consciously instead of unconsciously.
  4. The ability to live authentically.
  5. Understanding yourself at a deeper level rather than superficially.
  6. Forging deeper relationships.
  7. Making the world a better place for as many people as possible because you feel great about yourself.
  8. Living life as the real you.
  9. Integrating the various parts of your being.
  10. Transcending your ego.

What is self-awareness? You get to decide and you’ll know you’re achieving it when you experience both the struggle and the elation that comes from looking within.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Heals the Darkness Inside - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Heals the Darkness Inside

We all have some darkness inside; that place we don’t want to visit where our deepest fears, regrets, and other unmentionables reside. One of the reasons I love consulting for people who value self-awareness is that they actively work on shining a light in these unpleasant recesses of the psyche instead of pretending they don’t exist.

It’s impossible to live a genuinely happy life if you don’t deal with the monsters under the bed. I tried for years to pretend that my disquiets didn’t exist or to numb them in some way, but they never left my side. It was only when I became self-aware and conscious enough to acknowledge my issues that I was able to move in a healthier direction. I still have uneasy moments, but I’m generally moving toward the light.

As you increase your self-awareness, you’ll find that you understand yourself on a different level, one where you can actually take action and heal yourself. What will you do to develop self-awareness and heal the darkness inside you?

Cheers,

Guy

Nice People Are Self-Aware - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Nice People Are Self-Aware

A big part of self-awareness relates to how you behave in life. Certain behaviors lead in certain direction and a certain type of results. Think about a person who lies, cheats and steals his way to success. He (or she) may have amazing wealth or power, but there will always be something missing because they got there practicing negative behaviors.

The key in life is to be nice so that you can experience the peace of mind that comes from knowing you behaved in a way that was kind, honorable and ethical. Being nice doesn’t mean being weak, it refers to conducting yourself in ways that encourage kindness and build harmony. Ultimately, being nice helps you enjoy life more because you don’t have to worry about all the repercussions that come from behaving negatively.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be nice?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Trying to Be Perfect - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Trying to Be Perfect

A lot of people think developing self-awareness is the same as trying to be perfect. To dispel this myth, it’s important to understand that there is no such thing as perfection; the only thing that really matters in life is being the best, most authentic you possible. If you don’t live life as the real you and don’t honor who you are deep inside, you will never be able to grow or become fulfilled.

People who are trying to be perfect waste all of their time on some false ideal. I prefer to keep moving forward and taking small actions to become the best me I can be. You don’t have to worry about perfection, just figure out who you are deep inside and then try to be that person in real life. When you let go of the need to be perfect, you can focus on just being yourself.

It’s also important to take a break once in a while and not always be doing stuff. Take some time to do fun things that bring you joy and help you recharge. Supplement your self-awareness development efforts with things that bring you peace and balance. The goal is to keep growing and enjoy the journey toward self-awareness.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Your Impact on Others - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Your Impact on Others

One of the hallmarks of self-awareness is the ability to understand the impact you have on others. Many people go through their entire lives only thinking of their own immediate needs and what will affect them directly. They react to their environment based not on their deepest dreams and wishes but with unconscious thoughts, feelings and actions. The whole point of self-awareness is to know yourself so well that you can step outside your own experience and empathize with others. Let’s look at two individuals and consider what their impact might be on other people:

1. Person One wakes up each morning and does whatever he needs to do to take care of himself and the people he knows. He doesn’t worry about what his actions do to anyone outside his immediate circle, it’s not even on his radar. He treats people based on how he feels at that particular moment and isn’t concerned with how they are affected by his behavior. He doesn’t pay much attention to his unresolved feelings and issues, preferring instead to stuff them deep inside or do things to forget about them. He does many things that bring him immediate pleasure and reward but not lasting fulfillment. He has a job that pays the bills but doesn’t reflect his true passions. He lives life so he can fit in with a particular group.

2. Person Two wakes up and spends some time meditating on who he really is deep down inside and how he can bring the most good to the most people today. He is constantly mindful of how his actions affect others although he still makes sure that he does things that bring him joy and meet his own needs. He treats people kindly and compassionately, the same way he treats himself. He actively works on healing his hurts and unresolved issues. He does things for pleasure but understands that true fulfillment comes from inner healing and self-awareness. His work reflects who he is deep inside. He lives life building a greater understanding of himself and others.

Countless people live their lives like Person One: Bouncing unconsciously from one event to another, one interaction to the another, one reaction to another, and letting their stuff get on others. A smaller number choose to live like Person Two: They know that it’s hard to be mindful but it creates deep happiness and fulfillment and allows them to treat other people kindly and respectfully.

When you know yourself well and are happy and healthy, you’ll tend to be a more positive person and treat everyone with care and compassion, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. What will you do to make sure you impact people positively?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy