The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-Awareness and Increasing Your Leadership Success - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Increasing Your Leadership Success

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Self-awareness helps you increase your leadership success because, when you understand your own and others’ emotions, thoughts, and actions, you’re able to create a dynamic workplace where you and other people consciously do things that lead in a positive direction.

There are a lot of leadership consulting programs out there that promise us that we can change our workplaces, lead better or be more successful if we just think about it hard enough. While I’m a big believer in the power of positive thinking, I like to add an extra dimension called taking real action.

When you decide to move from an idea that’s in your head to actually doing something you open a door to being more successful because you increase your commitment to changing something in your life. Try the following practical steps to increase your success.

  1. Think of something you want to achieve.
  2. Think of various actions you can take to achieve it.
  3. Pick one action to do today and decide by when you’ll complete it.
  4. Move to the next action.

If you practice these four steps over time you’ll find that you get much better at focusing on something and actually doing it. As you improve your ability to take action you will increase your leadership success.

Leadership success is about actually doing things that help you build a healthier and more productive workplace. All you have to do is commit to changing the patterns you’ve established up to now by replacing them with actions that will get you where you want to be.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and increase your leadership success?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Effective Communication - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Effective Communication

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When you possess self-awareness you’re able to practice effective communication because you’re cognizant of how you come across to people. Leaders who don’t understand their own behavior, and how they’re perceived by others, create communication glitches like misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Here are some examples of the connection between self-awareness and effective communication:

  • Self-awareness means that you know how your thoughts, emotions and behaviors affect others and you’re able to manage yourself so that the other person is an important part of the conversation.
  • Self-awareness helps you be more comfortable with yourself so you can relate to others with genuine confidence and kindness.
  • Self-awareness allows you to get out of the way and let people tell you what’s important to them without letting your stuff complicate the interaction.
  • Self-awareness gives you the ability to shift from always having to talk (the result of ego) to listening to people instead.
  • Self-awareness helps you communicate with others on a deeper level because you make them feel valued and important.
  • Self-awareness helps you understand how others see you and how you can adapt to make more meaningful connections and build stronger relationships.
  • Self-awareness helps you collaborate with others.

Many leaders burst into the room and start talking when all they really need to do is relax a bit and listen. Effective communication means that you understand how not to get in the way of meaningful conversations. Self-aware leaders understand that there’s more than one person in the room and that everyone’s input  matters. How will you use self-awareness to practice effective communication?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Delegate Well - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Delegate Well

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I’ll often hear leaders who lack self-awareness talk about the importance of delegating and in the next breath describe how they micromanage things and check up on everything their employees do. There’s a big difference between saying you delegate and being self-aware and actually doing it. Here are 10 signs that you might need to delegate a little more.

1.  Your employees keep giving you hints they’d like to take on more responsibility.

2.  Your employees keep reminding you that they’re able to do certain things without supervision.

3.  You notice conflict or dissatisfaction arising when you give orders or assign tasks.

4.  People don’t tell you key things or avoid consulting with you on important matters.

5.  Your employees don’t seem all that happy or motivated.

6.  There’s not a whole lot of creativity going on in your workplace.

7.  Things are always done your way.

8.  People aren’t encouraged to come up with new ways of doing things.

9.  Employees seem dependent or can’t get things right when you’re not there.

10. People you supervise keep leaving the company.

How many of these occurrences do you recognize? If you do then you might want to make some small changes to create a more balanced workplace where people can think and act independently. An additional benefit is that your employees will feel more valued and you won’t have to be on top of them all the time.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and delegate more?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Avoid Quick Fixes - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Avoid Quick Fixes

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In the course of consulting for organizations to help them build self-aware leaders, the idea of fixing things comes up frequently. Our culture values the quick fix and most of our workplaces are centered on immediately fixing any problem that comes our way. The instant an event transpires in the workplace, we immediately leap into action and look for ways to fix it. While I appreciate that issues need to be resolved, leaders who lack self-awareness sometimes perpetuate workplace problems by forgetting to look a little deeper before they offer a fix.

Sometimes it’s the process of working on the issue that generates better results than a hastily constructed, reactive fix. The next time someone comes to you with a problem, consider the following approach:

  1. Listen carefully, without interrupting or offering advice.
  2. Give yourself permission not to fix anything at the onset.
  3. Let the person talk with you freely and give them the room to do so.
  4. Even if you disagree, try not to react negatively, rebut or become defensive.
  5. Learn to recognize the things that trigger your feelings, including defensiveness or frustration.
  6. Offer to listen to the person again in the future.
  7. Always behave calmly and kindly.

When you listen instead of immediately searching for a fix it changes the whole dynamic of your workplace interactions. You get to learn what your employees and co-workers really think and connect with them on a deeper level. This approach is different because it requires that, instead of talking or jumping in, you demonstrate the self-awareness to encourage people to share what they find meaningful. You also allow the space and time so that people can generate solutions autonomously rather than by being directed.

You don’t have to spend vast quantities of time or endless conversations on this method. All you need to do is sit back and support people so that they are more likely to come up with creative ideas. You’re promoting a workplace environment that genuinely values people and gives them the power to arrive at their own solutions. What will you do to develop self-awareness and avoid the quick fix?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Benefits of Deeper Team Building - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and the Benefits of Deeper Team Building

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Leaders who possess self-awareness understand the benefits of deeper team building, which helps leadership and employees connect with each other meaningfully and work together more effectively.

A lot of team building programs help people bond on a casual, superficial level. That’s great for situations where you want people to have a good time for a few hours but I prefer team building that encourages people to connect on a deeper level by building self-awareness and learning how their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors affect them and those around them. Here are seven benefits of deeper team building:

  • Interacting meaningfully, building stronger interpersonal relationships.
  • Increasing mutual respect and understanding, learning about others.
  • Allowing space and time for everyone to express his or her point of view.
  • Dealing well with emotions, building emotionally intelligent employees and leaders.
  • Developing active listening skills.
  • Behaving with kindness, empathy, and compassion.
  • Being able to achieve more in less time.

Imagine your workplace functioning based on these concepts. It probably seems strange because it’s so different from the toxic environments we’re used to, but it makes for a far more enjoyable work experience. Thankfully, you can design any workplace you want, including one where people have self-awareness and genuinely behave as a team.

The way I reach these goals is to consult with groups of people (especially leaders) how to communicate on a deeper level and build relationships based on kind, attentive listening, and empathy. What will you do to develop self-awareness and promote deeper team building in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Most Leaders Lack Self-Awareness and Create Toxic Workplaces - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Most Leaders Lack Self-Awareness and Create Toxic Workplaces

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Most leaders lack self-awareness and create toxic workplaces without even knowing it because it feels normal to them. They go through their days behaving in ways that are detrimental to themselves and their employees because they’ve always done it that way. Workplace habits are hard to interrupt unless leaders consciously decide to do something else. Here are some leadership behaviors that demonstrate a lack of self-awareness and are very common in a toxic workplace:

  • Shouting orders.
  • Not listening to people.
  • Not allowing people to have a voice.
  • Underpaying employees.
  • Not giving people time off to recharge or balance their lives.
  • Behavior correction through punishment.
  • Imposing strict hierarchy.
  • Like it or there’s the door attitude.
  • Getting angry or behaving disrespectfully.
  • Putting employees under constant stress.
  • Sticking people in boxes.
  • Limiting creativity or self-expression.

The standard reaction when I point out these toxic behaviors is one of surprise or confusion because so many of our workplaces function based on these types of actions. The key to building a happy and productive workplace is being able to envision a workplace where self-aware, empathic, positive practices are the norm. For example, a healthy workplace would likely value these behaviors:

  • Asking people to do things in a kind way.
  • Listening.
  • Encouraging people to use their voices.
  • Paying a living wage.
  • Giving people generous time off.
  • Helping people find their own best behaviors.
  • Creating a horizontal organizational structure.
  • Helping people generate their own solutions to difficult issues.
  • Behaving kindly, compassionately and respectfully.
  • Building a workplace that doesn’t stress people out.
  • Allowing people to use their talents and abilities.
  • Welcoming creativity and individuality.

Many leaders who lack self-awareness are highly skeptical of this type of approach and don’t think it’s possible or practical; which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because, if you don’t believe you can create a healthy workplace, you won’t. It takes time, energy, self-awareness and commitment to design a work environment where leaders and employees behave positively but it feels great when you achieve it.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and create a healthy workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Are Stingy with Praise - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Are Stingy with Praise

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Leaders who lack self-awareness are stingy with praise because they don’t realize how important it is to help others feel great about themselves and to build people up instead of always correcting or tearing them down.

I consult with many different leaders and organizations and I get a feel for how their workplaces run by observing how they interact in the training we do together. I regularly notice that when the topic of praise (or praising employees) comes up or when we discuss praising people on the job one or more people will raise an objection. It usually goes something like this:

  • You have to be careful about praising too much.
  • It’s counter-productive to praise all the time.
  • It’s phony to praise people a lot.
  • Praise makes people soft.
  • Praise makes people achieve less.
  • How do you praise everyone when only one person deserves praise?
  • Why would I praise bad behavior?
  • I don’t believe you.
  • That doesn’t work.

The remarkable thing about these types of statement or questions is how much they illustrate our lack of self-awareness and related discomfort about praising employees. Perhaps it comes from our families; where we had to prove our worth or rarely (if ever) heard a supportive word. It could arise from never having worked in an organization where praise was part of the culture or leadership praised often. These thought patterns become entrenched in us to the point where we’ll argue about whether praise is positive and behave accordingly.

What I’ve come to realize is that people who lack self-awareness are suspicious of praise primarily because they have not experienced it in action. Praise builds workplaces where employees feel valued. It is also one of the best tools to increase the likelihood that employees will repeat a desired behavior and find other ways to contribute. People like it when someone appreciates the work they’re doing or the ideas they bring to the table.

Leaders who lack self-awareness don’t praise much, if at all, and tend to create workplaces where people are starving for recognition, feel unappreciated and where productivity, procedures and rules take precedence over people. Praise offers a great opportunity to create a workplace that celebrates instead of castigates. Here are some guidelines for praising people:

  • Praise positive behaviors.
  • Be genuine and generous.
  • Praise specific things that people are doing well.
  • Distribute praise evenly, find something positive each person is doing.
  • Make the praise about the other person, keep it brief and focused on them.
  • Keep praising until it becomes the new culture.

The trap many leaders get caught in is thinking that praise is stroking people for bad work when it’s actually about celebrating good work. We’ve been conditioned into thinking that criticism and directives are the only ways to motivate people when a simple, “I appreciate the great job you did,” does much more for building morale and motivation.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and praise people more in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy