Self and Self-Awareness

Self-Aware People Realize Things Can't Make Them Happy - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Realize Things Can’t Make Them Happy

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I frequently consult with people who lack self-awareness and genuinely believe that buying things will make them happy. Time after time they realize that buying stuff really doesn’t affect their long term happiness. Sure, there is a buzz that comes from buying something you like but it doesn’t resolve the underlying things that are vital to fulfillment. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy buying things, it just requires that you put some thought into why you buy stuff. If you buy objects with the hopes of feeling better about yourself, I have some basic questions you can ask yourself to build self-awareness and help you focus on what’s really going on.

1. Do I really need this object?
2. How am I focusing on fixing the deeper issues in my life?
3. Do I feel less whole when I can’t shop?
4. In what ways does buying things affect my emotions?
5. Does shopping help me postpone feeling emotions?
6. Do I hide the fact that I buy stuff from others?
7. Do I have to buy other stuff to keep the buzz going?
8. In what other areas of my life could I devote more energy and thought?
9. Could my money be used for long-term success?
10. How am I defined by my things?

The answers to these questions will help you get some perspective on how your buying habits affect your life. There’s nothing wrong or horrible with buying nice things unless it prevents you from looking at the deeper stuff in life.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be happy from sources other than buying things?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Do What You Love in Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Do What You Love in Life

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Self-awareness helps you do what you love in life because, when you comprehend why you feel, think, and behave the way you do, you’re able to identify a meaningful path and live authentically.

It’s really normal to want to figure out what you really want to do in life. It’s much more fulfilling to do things you love than things you have to do. Much of the discomfort you feel comes from not following your true path.

When I consult with people, we frequently talk about how they can tell if they are following their path. The answer varies from person to person but I’ve found that people just feel better, happier, stronger, more motivated and productive when they build self-awareness and do things they love. It’s the feeling you get when you’re doing things you actually enjoy doing rather than things that bring you discomfort. Think of the millions of people toiling in jobs they hate because they haven’t yet connected with what they really want to do. What would their lives look like if they incorporated more of the activities that bring them joy?

Think about the following questions in order to figure out what you want to do with your life:

  1. What do I love doing more than anything?
  2. Am I doing that thing?
  3. What am I doing to pursue my dreams in general?
  4. Am I settling for a life that does not include my dreams?
  5. What am I afraid of?
  6. What specific action can I take today to move toward my dreams?

You deserve to live a great life and you have the power to move toward your goals and dreams at any moment you choose to. Doing what you love isn’t automatic, it requires conscious thought and persistence. The good news is that you can do concrete things to move in any direction you want. Start today and you could be on your way to doing the things you’ve always dreamed of.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and do what you love in life?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Regaining Hope - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Regaining Hope

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Self-awareness helps you regain hope because, when you understand why you feel, think, and behave the way you do, you are able to move your life in a positive direction and move past the barriers that used to hold you back.

Many of us reach points in our lives where we feel like nothing is going right. I ask people to continue building self-awareness and focus on the things that are going right. It may sound simplistic but much of how we see the world is based on perspective.

Why is it that one person sees an event as a tragedy while another sees it simply as a bump in the road? Perspective. Why is it that one person crumbles when faced with adversity but others thrive? Perspective.

When you give up hope you give up believing that you can affect the world around you. This is only a perception because, in fact, you can always do something to move your life in a different direction. Try these simple techniques to overcome the challenges in your life.

1. Take an inventory of the things you do well.
2. Pick one of the things you came up with to work on.
3. Take steps to finish the work.
4. Move on to the next thing you want to do.

Regaining hope is often about finding your inner confidence. You reconnect to your inner hope and confidence by actually doing things and experiencing the challenge of completing tasks. Doing things literally impels you to do something besides dwell on your loss of hope. Try these steps and move in a direction that satisfies you. You deserve it.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and live hopefully?

Cheers,

Guy

How to Resolve Conflicts with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How to Resolve Conflicts with Self-Awareness

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People who lack self-awareness often ask me how to resolve conflicts. Many individuals think that letting conflict build up, followed by an explosion, followed by another build-up period is the natural cycle of conflict. The only difficulty with this approach is that the conflict continues and doesn’t get resolved. The only real solution is to increase self-awareness and fix the conflict by taking action. Follow the following steps to begin working on resolving rather than perpetuating conflict.

1. Each person identifies what the they think the conflict is.
2. Both people agree together on one definition of the conflict to begin resolving.
3. Each person comes up with two or three possible solutions.
4. Both people agree together on which solution to implement.
5. If the parties can’t work together find a mediator.

Resolving conflict is about having the self-awareness to work with the other person to actually fix the situation. The act of doing all the previous steps (always in order) allows us the chance to work with the other person rather than against them. Make sure you start at the first step and do not progress to the next if you haven’t finished the previous step. We are conditioned to rush to solutions but frequently forget that it the working through the issue that gets us the most permanent and satisfactory results.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and actually resolve conflicts?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Ready to Take Action - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Being Ready to Take Action

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Many people get closer to their dreams by building self-awareness and taking action. When you purposefully decide to move in a certain direction you begin a conscious journey that will take you in directions you may not even have imagined. Here’s what some wise people have to say about the subject:

Anais Nin:

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.

Anatole France:

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.

Alfred North Whitehead:

We cannot think first and act afterward. From the moment of birth we are immersed in action, and can only fitfully coach it by taking thought.

Self-awareness helps you be ready to take action because, when you understand your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re able to clarify what you want to do in life and move forward confidently. What will you do to develop self-awareness and take action?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Experiencing Joy in Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Experiencing Joy in Life

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When I coach people who lack self-awareness they often tell me they have difficulty experiencing joy in their lives. Joy is a wonderful concept which I define as experiencing pure bliss and contentment. Joy is also complex in that we could not experience it if we did not also experience pain. A life of perpetual joy would soon begin to feel bland, so we need the ups and downs that come with everyday experience.

How do you define joy? Joy can be that moment at which you feel complete happiness and want for nothing else. It can be gazing into someone’s eyes whom you love or doing something that means a lot to you. Joy is what we experience when we work through difficulties and as we let go of the things that bring us down. Here’s what some smart people have to say about the matter:

Pearl S. Buck:

The secret of joy in work is contained in one word – excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.

Audre Lorde:

The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference.

Kahlil Gibran:

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?

Feeling joy in life arises from doing the work necessary to heal your hurts and learning how to manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It requires deliberate and continuous effort, but the rewards are wonderful.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and experience joy in life?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Finding Balance at Work - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Finding Balance at Work

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I was talking to a very accomplished person who lacks self-awareness and was feeling overwhelmed by everything going on in his work life. After I asked him to take some time to think about what was going well and what might need improvement in his life, he realized that he had been juggling a great deal of different challenges in the workplace and hadn’t taken time to think about the things that gave him balance.

We become so engrossed in working at a rapid pace that we forget that we can enjoy our efforts more if we pause occasionally to build self-awareness, relax, recharge, and reflect. Take some time in your day to do nothing. Look at the sky, take a walk, draw a picture, meditate, listen to music or do anything else you enjoy that requires no goals or deadlines. Work becomes more enjoyable when you take time to regain our balance and do it on a regular basis.

Balance helps you maintain a generally positive course and helps you be a more effective leader because you are functioning from a place of calm and reflection. It is this middle road where you can find grounding and greater peace rather than the standard rat race. You will always experience highs and lows but, if we nurture the middle, we will always have a place to seek refuge.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and find more balance at work?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy