Self and Self-Awareness

Self-Aware People Deal Well with Conflict - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Deal Well with Conflict

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When I consult with people who lack self-awareness about conflict resolution the question often comes up, “So what am I supposed to do if someone is getting mad at me?” Though counterintuitive, the answer is that you don’t have to do much, just listen. The next time someone is getting upset while talking with you, try these self-aware techniques:

1. Listen actively.
2. Nod and smile.
3. If you must talk do so only to say, “Tell me more.”

You will be absolutely amazed at the results you will get from simply listening to someone. The trap we fall in is that we think that, when other people are upset, it must be about us. When you give someone the space and opportunity to simply talk and be validated then they will give you much more information than if you engage them in a conflict.

So, give it a try. The next time you are about to get in an argument tell yourself that it is not about you and give the other person the chance to tell you about themselves. Once you master this skill, you will find that many of the conflicts you formerly had will disappear because you will no longer be part of the conflict.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and deal positively with conflict?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Look for Answers Inside - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Look for Answers Inside

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People who lack self-awareness spend a lot of time looking to outside sources instead of looking inside themselves for answers to life’s big questions. Living a meaningful life requires building self-awareness so you can get to know who you really are and live a life that reflects your true self. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you look deep inside and find the answers that work for you:

  • What brings me joy?
  • What do I love doing?
  • If money were no object, what would I do?
  • What is my passion in life?
  • What do I find meaningful in life?
  • Who am I?
  • What kind of person am I?
  • What talent of mine would I love to share with the world?
  • What am I willing to do to live my dream life?
  • What holds me back?
  • What motivates me to take action?
  • What’s my definition of the meaning of life?

Take some time to carefully answer all these questions, they will lead you toward living a genuinely fulfilling and happy life. You can find the answers you’re looking for if you’re willing to look within and listen to your inner voice.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and find the answers inside you?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Treat Yourself Well in Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Treat Yourself Well in Relationships

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Self-awareness helps you treat yourself well in relationships because, when you understand why you feel, think, and behave the way you do, you are able to examine yourself, heal your hurts, move in the direction of your dreams, and invite others to join you.

We frequently give ourselves to others in ways that weaken our spirit and take us down a road we don’t want to travel. It’s almost as if we lose our sense of who we are and hand over our destiny to another person.

One of the reasons why relationships stagnate or engender conflict is that the parties have forgotten that they are the most important person in the world. We benefit by first understanding ourselves and working out our own issues and then entering relationships. In this way, relationships become about a connection between two or more healthy people rather than individuals who facilitate each other’s negative behaviors.

Think of yourself as the most important person in the world. Work on yourself first and you will attract people who will enjoy you for who you are, not for what they can get out of you.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and treat yourself well in relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

Why Self-Awareness Matters - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Why Self-Awareness Matters

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You’ve probably met people, even very successful ones, who behave like they’re clueless or unbalanced in some part of their lives. Perhaps they don’t deal with others very positively, can’t get past some childhood trauma or have ideas about the world that aren’t grounded in reality. What they’re often missing is self-awareness, the ability to understand how their thoughts, emotions and behaviors affect them and others.

People avoid looking at themselves because they’re afraid of what they might find. It takes courage to admit that they’re not perfect, that they’ve made mistakes, that they’ve been wrong in the past or that there are areas that need improvement in their lives. Those who do decide to take a candid look at themselves soon discover that they can live deeply satisfying, meaningful, healthy and balanced lives.

Self-awareness matters because you’re worth it. You deserve to live a fully conscious life that reflects the real you rather than doing all the other garbage that makes you (and the people around you) unhappy. When you understand who you are and why you think and behave the way you do, you get to live an authentic life being yourself rather than trying to be someone you’re not or relying on outside sources for your happiness.

Increasing your self-awareness gives you the opportunity to live the life you were meant to live without restrictions. It’s a journey that begins with your willingness to look at yourself honestly and become the most healthy, balanced you possible. How will you start building your self-awareness?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are Compassionate - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Are Compassionate

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When you practice compassion as part of your  self-awareness journey you’ll find that you’re able to care for yourself and others. Compassion is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and treat them with care and kindness. In doing so you create positive energy in your life and in the world as well.

Compassionate human beings understand that they are not the only people in the world, that other individuals and groups have a different and valid experience. When you practice compassion, you are able to put your own experience and needs aside, really empathize with someone else, and recognize when they need help.

As you build your self-awareness, you will find that you become more comfortable and better able to manage your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, which will enable you to connect with others on a more meaningful level. The healthier you are, the more you are in a position to help others.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and practice compassion?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Do More Than Fixing Problems - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Do More Than Fixing Problems

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I have facilitated numerous workshops and consulted with myriad people who lack self-awareness and a common theme that comes up is the idea of fixing things. From an early age, we are taught to confront any problem with a fix. If someone says something to us in our personal or professional life we immediately jump and look for ways to fix it. While I like resolving issues, it’s also important to give some importance to just building self-awareness and working on things without fixing them. Next time someone comes to you with a problem, consider the following possibilities:

1. Listen without interrupting or offering advice.
2. Give yourself permission not to fix anything.
3. Let the person talk to you freely and give them the time to do so.
4. Even if you disagree, don’t rebut or become defensive.
5. Learn to recognize the things that trigger your defensiveness or anger.
6. Offer to listen to the person again.
7. Always remain calm and caring.

The act of listening changes the whole dynamic in relationships. Suddenly we can learn what other people really think and simply bond with them. This approach is different because it requires that, instead of talking or jumping in, we just let someone else tell us about the things they find meaningful. This approach greatly reduces hurt feelings and anger because it requires us to react calmly to anything another person says.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and stop fixing things?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Improves Your Dating Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Improves Your Dating Life

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People who lack self-awareness tend to have a lot of dating problems because they don’t know who they are or what they really want. My lovely clients tell me all kinds of stories about the bad boys and girls they date or the fact that they can’t find Mr. or Ms. Right. What I’ve found out over the years is that people date haphazardly. They have some vague notion of what they want but they are missing a few key elements that will help them date at a deeper, more rewarding level. Next time you are feeling troubled by your dating life think of the following ideas.

1. Am I happy with myself or am I looking for someone to fill that void?
2. Am I doing what I want with my life?
3. Do I date negative people because, deep down, I don’t like myself?
4. Do I know how to meet positive, supportive people to date?
5. Am I meeting people that make me feel good about myself?
6. Do I have the communication and interpersonal skills to date well?
7. Why do I date?

As you think of answers to these questions you will begin to understand yourself more and identify the patterns that have led you to relationship problems. If you keep repeating the same behaviors you will likely get the same results. It’s only when we begin to understand ourselves and treat ourselves well that we can begin letting great people into our lives.

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy