Self and Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness and Getting Help to Fix Your Relationship Problems - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Getting Help to Fix Your Relationship Problems

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , ,

Self-awareness helps you resolve your relationship problems because, when you understand how you and other people’s emotions, thoughts, and actions affect the situation at hand, you’re actually able to do something about it.

Many people who have relationship problems think that they can fix them themselves or get help from friends and family. The difficulty with this approach is that not everyone is qualified to help us find the answers we want. They may mean well and love us very much but they may not have a clue on how to actually fix a problem. Ask yourself the following questions next time you are looking for someone to help you with your relationship problems:

  • Does this person have a track record of expert relationship problem solving?
  • Does this person listen unconditionally without giving advice?
  • Does this person help you come up with your own answers?
  • Is this person too close to the situation or not objective enough?
  • Does the person have anything to gain from a specific outcome?
  • Has this person had any training in fixing relationships?
  • Does this person use self-awareness as a tool to improve relationships?

These basic questions highlight the importance of getting help that will not only make you feel better or supported but, additionally, to find help that helps you create the results you want. The advice you get from others may be kind and supportive but does the problem go away?

Clients often tell me that it is difficult to seek outside help. We are often taught that we need to fix things ourselves or should not trust anyone outside of friends and family. The good news is that a supportive consultant has the skills and experience to help you move in any direction you choose.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and fix your relationship problems?

Cheers,

Guy

Do You Limit Your Self-Awareness? - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Do You Limit Your Self-Awareness?

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , , , ,

A lot of people limit their self-awareness because they’re afraid of looking at their hurts and admitting that they might benefit from making some changes. Here are some examples of thoughts and actions that hinder self-awareness:

  • The belief that you don’t have to work on yourself.
  • Thinking that you’re just fine as is, even when everything is crumbling around you.
  • Saying you don’t have time for all that touchy-feely stuff.
  • Acting like you know everything.
  • Living superficially.
  • Refusing to examine the things you might want to improve so you can become a more effective version of you.
  • Trying to control things so people won’t find out how insecure you are.
  • Not wanting to go to therapy.
  • Living life reactively instead of proactively.
  • Doing the same thing you’ve always done.
  • The belief that life is hard and you can’t do anything to change it.
  • Fear of change.

A lot of people stay stuck because they refuse to take an honest look at themselves and learn about what would help them move forward. They literally live their entire lives being miserable. The good news is that you don’t have to be unhappy, just work on figuring out who you are and you’ll be on your way to enjoying a self-aware life.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means Being Yourself - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Means Being Yourself

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

There are a lot of miserable people walking around because they’re doing what their families tell them to do, what their friends want them to do, or what some external being compels them to do rather than focusing on building self-awareness and living authentically.

The true key to happiness is to be yourself and live as the real you. Over many years of consulting for individuals who value developing self-awareness, I’ve noticed that people cause themselves all kinds of unnecessary grief and tension because they don’t live in a way that reflects who they really are inside.

When you’re the authentic you it opens all kinds of doors, you meet people who understand where you’re coming from and what you’re doing. You project positive energy when you’re following your passion. Since I let go of being someone I wasn’t and became a poet, I feel better about myself and connect with people who value what I do. I really like it when people like the real me instead of some artificial persona.

What do you do to be yourself?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Reducing Family Conflict - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Reducing Family Conflict

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , ,

Self-awareness can help reduce family conflict because, when people understand themselves well, they are better able to work things out with others.

Conflict can be especially painful when it involves family. My clients often ask me what to do about a family member who they can’t get along with. It can be tricky to deal with family because there are often rules we are expected to follow in our families.

It’s common to feel a sense of duty toward family but that doesn’t give people a free pass to hurt each other. Ideally we treat everyone with the same dignity and respect whether they are family or not.

Here are a few ideas to help you build self-awareness and set boundaries with your family:

1. Respect your needs and beliefs first.
2. Inform your family about what you want. Set limits and boundaries.
3. Inform your family you are available to work things out.
4. Work with them to resolve the conflict.
5. Set the example for how you want to be treated.
6. Take some time away if things get heated.
7. Expect resistance.

You are your own unique person regardless of what your family says or does. It’s ultimately healthiest to pay attention to the things that bring you joy and happiness than to try to mold yourself into someone else’s vision. Trust yourself and teach your family who you are. Do it with kindness and patience and eventually they will understand who you are.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and reduce conflict in your family?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Fixing a Family Problem - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Fixing a Family Problem

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , ,

Self-awareness can help you fix a family problem because, when you understand how everyone’s emotions, thoughts, and actions, affect each other, then you’re able to work on solutions to even the most difficult situations.

For much of history we have viewed the family as a unit that helped us
with survival. We depended on each other because there was strength and
security in numbers. Recent developments in society and technology have
allowed us to experience the family differently than we used to. We now
are able to work on making our families as healthy as possible—a
concept that our ancestors never even contemplated.

With this new ability to improve the health of our families comes a great
opportunity to enjoy our family relationships like never before. We
also get to face challenges in new ways. In the past we let conflict
fester and continue throughout our lives. We didn’t have the tools to
actually fix things. Now we do and consulting gives families some tools
they can use to increase the happiness in their homes.

Some basic things you can think about when a family problem arises include:

  • What is the problem really about?
  • Do you know what each family member thinks about the problem?
  • Have you all worked together to come up with possible solutions?
  • Is everyone’s voice listened to and given equal weight?
  • Does everyone know how to listen to other points of view?
  • Can people deal with conflict without escalating?
  • Is conflict an opportunity for change in your family?
  • How are your communication skills?
  • Do you have a consistent system for resolving problems in the family?
  • Do you ask for neutral help or advice from uninvolved third parties?

Resolving problems in the family has a lot to do with the skills and experiences we bring to the table. A lot of us repeat the patterns we saw at home but we now have the benefit of new strategies to actually resolve
problems rather than perpetuating them. Consider some of the following
ideas to help your family increase self-awareness and move forward positively:

  • Develop a conflict resolution strategy.
  • Develop communication skills.
  • Develop listening skills.
  • Work together.

It’s amazing how those four basic elements can help families resolve
problems. Most of our families are not set up to fix problems, just
make them go away temporarily. I enjoy consulting for parents to create
new ways of actually fixing problems in the family, so everyone involved can feel included and valued.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and fix the problems in your family?

Cheers,

Guy

Achieve Your Dreams with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Achieve Your Dreams with Self-Awareness

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , ,

You can achieve your dreams with self-awareness because, when you understand and can manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re able to consciously move in whatever direction you want to.

The mistake we often make is that we live our whole lives putting our dreams on the back burner. There are several reasons this happens including fear, paying the bills, lack of planning and not believing that our dreams will come true.

People often think that thinking of their dreams is too unrealistic. The truth is that our lives tend to follow the patterns that we establish. If we think something cannot be achieved that will tend to happen.

As yourself this: What can I do today to start living my dreams? If you start believing and acting on the assumption that you can actually achieve your dreams you will begin to structure you life to make it happen.

The main message is don’t give up, there is always time to start working on what you want in life. What will you do to develop self-awareness and make your dreams a reality?

Cheers,

Guy

Live the One Life You Have with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Live the One Life You Have with Self-Awareness

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , ,

I always encourage people to live the one life they have with self-awareness because it will help them navigate all the challenges they will face. Once you understand your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’ll be able to live a deeply fulfilling, meaningful existence.

Perspective frequently makes the difference in the choices you make in life. If you feel a sense of urgency, you are more likely to try to accomplish a task. People motivate themselves in different ways but a key characteristic of those who create movement is a sense that they have to get it done.

You only have one life to live so you might as well make the most of it. Why then is it that people spend incredible amounts of time and effort on everything but what is truly meaningful to them? It’s almost as if someone told them along the way that they couldn’t accomplish what they wanted in life. So they settle for what comes their way, focusing on subsistence rather than growth.

A positive way to improve self-awareness and begin redirecting your thoughts is to ask yourself, “If I only had one week to live, what would I want to do?”

Life is a precious and finite gift. Why would anyone choose to live it without doing something they really love? Think about your own situation and think about what you really want to do in life. Then put some thought into increasing self-awareness and what you can actually do to incorporate your dreams into your everyday life. As you begin working on your dreams, you will begin feeling happier and more balanced because you are connecting with who you really are. Life is just funner when you’re doing stuff you like.

Build in some urgency starting today. What will you do to improve your self-awareness and live the life you really want to?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy