Self and Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness and Increasing the Love in Your Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Increasing the Love in Your Life

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When you possess self-awareness, you deeply understand and are able to positively manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. This sense of well-being allows you to let more love into you life, as in loving yourself and others.

Love is a wonderful part of self-awareness. Imagine your life filled with many kinds of love including:

  • Love for yourself.
  • Love for and from others.
  • Love for your career.
  • Love for the planet and all its creatures.
  • Love for life.

Replacing the feelings of fear and anger in your life with love allows you to feel great about yourself and others. Your life moves in entirely different ways, wonderful opportunities and experiences open up to you, full of joy and fulfillment. Love can literally change your life if you let it in. What will you do to develop self-awareness and invite love into your life?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Ask for Help - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Ask for Help

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When I help people figure out what they want out of life they often ask me why some people achieve their goals and some don’t. The answer is that successful people have the self-awareness to ask for outside help so that they can learn new ways of doing things that break the patterns they’ve established. As a self-awareness consultant, I am familiar with people’s power to change their lives dramatically with the help of someone supportive helping them reach their goals.

It’s great to have friends and family but there is an additional valuable place for having someone helping us who does not know us. It introduces an objectivity and clarity we can’t get from people who know us. Some people look for help from a therapist, for others a consultant is a great option, for others a class or group of some kind helps them acquire new insight. The people who most succeed at changing things in their lives are those who actively build self-awareness and seek outside support that opens their minds to new possibilities.

An outside, supportive person can help us see things from a more neutral point of view and can identify things that people who know us don’t see. If we are stuck in the same rut it’s often refreshing to just have a neutral, outside perspective that gives us clear feedback. Try it sometime: think of something you want to work on in your life and then reach out to an outside helper who can help you get where you want to go. The only thing you have to lose are the negative things you endure now.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and ask for help?

Cheers,

Guy

Developing Self-Awareness: 2 Exercises - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Developing Self-Awareness: 2 Exercises

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Here are two exercises for developing self-awareness.

1. The Personal Inventory

The way this self-awareness exercise works is that it requires that you actively look at yourself and start working on the things that don’t lead in a positive direction in your life. The process of working on certain issues helps you gain better insight into the areas of your life that might benefit from some extra attention.

  • In a notebook divide a page into two columns, label one column “Positive” and the other “Other Than Positive.”
  • Write down all the positive things you feel, think, and do in the “Positive” column.
  • Write down the things you think, feel, and do that lead in an “Other Than Positive” column.
  • Read the items in the “Positive” column and praise yourself for each item.
  • Look at your “Other Than Positive” column and pick the one item that seems the easiest to deal with. Once you pick a single item, decide on one action you will do to improve that item. Each subsequent day keep picking something to deal with that same item until it is no longer an issue that leads you in a less than positive direction.
  • Once your “Other Than Positive” item is no longer an issue, go back to the first step and repeat the entire process.
  • Repeat this exercise until you have very few “Other Than Positive” items.
  • Remember that developing self-awareness takes months, years, and will likely require a lifetime of commitment to learning and growing.

2. Looking Deep Inside

In this self-awareness exercise you get to take a deeper look at your emotions. A key element of self-awareness is the ability to look deep within and understand who your really are deep down inside and why you feel, think, and do what you do. Here’s how it works:

  • Think of an issue that creates a lot of discomfort in your life.
  • Label that issue with one of these four emotions (whichever fits the best): Anger, Sadness, Happiness, Fear.
  • Once you have chosen a single label then allow yourself five minutes to think of the issue and the emotion attached to it. After five minutes, write down your impressions of what you felt.
  • Keep repeating this exercise until you have a strong sense that the discomfort is no longer there or is greatly lessened.
  • Pick another issue and repeat the entire process.
  • Remember that this isn’t a one-time activity, it requires long-term commitment to developing your self-awareness.

You’ll find these exercises are challenging, some people even find them nearly impossible at first, but that’s the whole point of self-awareness; it’s a gradual process that takes time and repeated effort. So that you don’t get overloaded, I would recommend you work on these exercises on alternating weeks until you get really good at doing them, at which time you can do them simultaneously; the idea is to keep working on them until they become second nature. You’ll find that your self-awareness will naturally increase as you do the exercises. Please feel free to share your progress in the comments section below this post or contact me directly, I’d love to hear how you’re doing.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Parents Know How to Talk with Their Kids - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Parents Know How to Talk with Their Kids

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Many parents who lack self-awareness forget the cardinal rule of talking with children: listen to them. We get so caught up in coaching and directing their behavior or protecting them that we forget that they are people. The single most important key to talking with your kids is listening.

How to Listen

  1. Don’t talk.
  2. Don’t judge.
  3. Invite your child to talk about anything her or she wants with no repercussions.
  4. No commenting or editorializing allowed from you. No stories about when you were their age.
  5. Invite them to keep talking to you anytime they want.
  6. The only things you are allowed to say are, “Tell me more,” “I understand,” and “Thank you for talking with me,” or “I love you.” Try nodding and smiling as ways to invite them to talk more.
  7. Try to avoid applying your beliefs to what they say.
  8. Thank them and tell them you love them. Then say nothing else.

Practice these skills over time (at least one month, or longer) and always remember to tell your child you love them and that you are open to listening to them. If they don’t want to talk, respect their wishes and let them know that you are there when they are ready. When they do finally trust you, they will open up and then you can apply the ideas above. Once you’ve established and modeled that you can listen they may even invite you to offer your wisdom. They have to believe that you care enough to listen to them first.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and listen to your kids?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Celebrate Yourself - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Celebrate Yourself

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A big part of self-awareness is being able to celebrate yourself. Treating yourself well is as much a habit as a state of mind. It’s a good idea to cut yourself some slack and celebrate the things you do well. We spend so much time beating ourselves up that we forget that we possess wonderful skills and abilities. Ask yourself the following questions to begin thinking about how great you are.

1. What do I do well?
2. What do I love to do?
3. What thing do I do that truly makes me happy?
4. What can I do to reward myself today in a positive way?
5. What am I an expert on?
6. What can I do today to take care of myself?

Practice one of these ideas each day and teach yourself how to live a life of self-awareness and positive self-reinforcement rather than negativity. Learn to be your own best supporter, a person who recognizes the amazing things about you. Don’t be afraid of doing something silly like saying affirmations to yourself out loud. You have a unique power to be your own best supporter. It just takes a little practice and perseverance.

Keep doing it and, over time, you will shift your way of thinking to one that celebrates the things that make you special. What will you do to develop self-awareness and celebrate yourself?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Communicating Well in Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Communicating Well in Relationships

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My clients often ask me what to do on a date or in a relationship when trying to start a conversation. Many people who lack self-awareness learned how to communicate in their families or with friends, so they only know one style: their own.

Learning a couple of basic skills can help you make the most of communicating with anyone. Try these ideas next time you are talking to a date or someone you are in a relationship with:

1. Listen actively.
2. Ask open-ended questions.
3. Listen actively.
4. Did I mention listening actively?

One of the easiest ways to help a conversation get started and build is to listen and ask questions. To be a self-aware, active listener try the following:

1. Look at the other person.
2. Really listen carefully and give all your attention to what the other person says rather than thinking about what you want to say next.
3. Nod or say uh-huh to indicate you are listening.

Open-ended questions are formed by asking questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no. Ask “What did you think about that?” rather than “I bet your really thought that was horrible.” The open-ended question will invite the other person to tell you more rather than answering yes or no.

Try these common sense ideas and you will be on your way to gaining a new understanding of other people. I wish you all the best as you begin mastering the art of communication. What will you do to develop self-awareness and communicate well in your relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Balanced - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Being Balanced

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I was talking to a highly accomplished leader today who had the self-awareness to realize he was feeling overwhelmed from juggling multiple projects and tasks and not allotting time for activities that would provide him more balance. His story is the same as countless other leaders trying to make sense of their work or personal lives.

You can become so engrossed in living at a rapid pace that you forget you can enjoy life more if you pause occasionally to relax, recharge and reflect. Take some time during your day to not do anything. Look at a sunset, sit by a stream, go walking in the city with no particular goal. Life becomes more enjoyable when you take time to regain your balance.

A big part of building self-awareness is the ability to monitor how you’re thinking, feeling and behaving and knowing when you need to shift direction a bit. Balance helps you maintain a positive course because it keeps you grounded and focused on the bigger picture. You’ll always experience highs and lows but, if you nurture the middle, you’ll be able to deal with anything that comes your way. What will you do to create balance in your life?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy