Self-Awareness in Leadership Archives – Page 5 of 20

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Workplace Relationships

November 12, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

If you’re a leader who possesses self-awareness, then you know how important team building and promoting positive workplace relationships are to creating a healthy, high-functioning organization.

The leaders and employees I consult with frequently talk to me about not feeling like they connect with certain people in the workplace. It’s almost as if they lack self-awareness and expect the other person to behave a certain way or read their mind. This is a very common experience in workplace relationships: One person expects a certain kind of interaction while the other seems oblivious. This dynamic leads to a lot of frustrated people and poorly functioning teams.

The difficulty arises when people hold on to their expectations even when they see repeated evidence that they will never get what they want. They hang on to their hopes for a long time waiting for something to magically change. Their expectations can easily become an obstacle to building positive workplace relationships because they expect things to go a certain way rather than working on improving their own self-awareness and dealing with what’s actually happening.

No amount of hope can change the course of your work relationships and you can’t wish your way out of a negative situation. The only way you can introduce positive energy into your relationships is by having the self-awareness to do things that change the patterns you’ve established.

Changing the way you do things is the only way to affect your situation. No amount of hope or expectations can take the place of being self-aware and applying effective behaviors such as excellent communication, team building or problem solving skills. The great news is that you can do things to change the course of your work relationships, it just requires some courage and taking action to move in a different direction.

What will you do to use self-awareness to promote team building and positive workplace relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Facilitates Team Building and Reduces Conflict in the Workplace

November 12, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Conflict in the workplace can be painful and sap your energy. My clients who lack self-awareness often ask me what to do about a employee who they can’t get along with or people who are in constant conflict. It can be tricky to deal with workplace conflict because most organizations don’t have strategies beyond reprimands and other punishments.

Our workplaces are often places where we give people a free pass to hurt each other because we lack the self-awareness to do anything else. We like to think we know how to deal with conflict but we end up enduring feuds that last years.

So how can you reduce conflict in your workplace and increase self-awareness? Here’s a couple of ideas to think about:

1. Develop a strategy to deal with conflict. Set up clear goals, expectations and parameters and ask for input from leadership and staff.

2. Inform everyone that this is the new way of doing things and train them to make sure everyone is on the same page.

3. Inform your workplace that you have resources in place to help people work things out.

4. Work with your leaders and employees to give them the skills to resolve their own conflicts.

5. Set the example and consistently behave in a way that reduces conflict.

6. Develop an ongoing conflict resolution training program and participate actively in it.

7. Expect resistance to your new ideas about conflict. Things will settle in once you train people and they get a chance to practice the new skills.

Healthy workplaces help their leaders and employees resolve their own conflicts in peaceful and lasting ways. As a leader, you set the example for how conflict is viewed and dealt with in your organization. You can start designing a conflict resolution program today that will help you create a workplace where people get along and aren’t at each other’s throats all the time.

What will you do to develop self-awareness, build stronger teams, and reduce conflict in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Stubborn Leaders Lack Self-Awareness

October 3, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Leaders who lack self-awareness sometimes think that being stubborn is the same as being right about something. They hang on to their position no matter what happens because they just don’t see any other option. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this behavior but it does affect the leader and team involved; usually in less than positive ways. Here’s a couple of things to think about if you know someone who is amazingly stubborn:

Being Stubborn is a Defense Mechanism

People who are stubborn hang on to their beliefs at all costs because they feel they are defending something very important. Even if the issue doesn’t seem important to others, it is to them. People in this situation frequently believe that if they give up their position, something terrible will happen.

Being Stubborn is a Dead End Street

Once someone decides to be stubborn they have painted themselves into a corner because they severely limit any options to fix anything. They hang onto their point of view no matter what and literally can’t explore other options because they don’t allow for any.

What is Right?

Stubborn people frequently think they are right but, if you think about it, what’s right and what’s wrong? We can usually measure what’s right by whether the results of a given behavior leads to positive outcomes. Yet most stubborn behavior just leads to entrenchment. I’m not certain most people would say that being stuck is the same as being right or happy.

So What Can We Do?

Stubbornness can be a daunting challenge. Some people are so stubborn that they will live a miserable life just to prove their point. The only real way to alleviate stubbornness to practice self-awareness and get help to interrupt the behavior patterns and beliefs that led to the current situation. There’s not much other people can do except make themselves available to talk with the person and set limits and boundaries.

Being stubborn rarely leads to positive results and it isn’t very effective at creating inspiring workplaces. The good news is that the cycle can be interrupted by taking a good look at oneself and slightly shifting the behaviors that lead to being stubborn. The result? Greater happiness and more successful leaders.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and avoid being a stubborn leader?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Deeper Communication Skills Part 2

August 29, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Effective communication is about developing self-awareness and practicing behaviors that will get you positive results rather than finding yourself stuck doing things that don’t work. In the first part of Self-Awareness and Deeper Communication Skills, we looked at how to help people talk in a meaningful way. In this post, we’ll review how to help a group work together on a challenging issue or any topic of interest. To continue the process from last time, reconvene the group and work through the following steps in order.

Have the facilitator pick a topic of interest.
Divide people into groups of four or five.
Have each group repeat the process above by having each member give his or her perspective on the topic and the remainder of the group listening.
Ask the group to brainstorm possible ways to deal with the topic. Have them write down their ideas and remind them that all ideas are valid and welcome. Let everyone know that this is just brainstorming, not the time for rebuttals, reactions or debate.
Ask the group to pick one brainstorm item to start working on. Remind the participants that it doesn’t matter which item they pick, what matters is that they’ll be working together on whatever it is. Invite participants to let go of the need to advocate for their favorite item, encourage them to focus on the collaboration not the name of the item.
Have each participant tell their group briefly what he or she will do to work on the brainstorm item and by when he or she will complete the action.
Have each group share what happened in their group, what they decided to work on and how each will contribute.
Take a break.

At this point you could adjourn the meeting. If time permits, you could have people share what they thought about the process. Give everyone a chance to talk from the heart but keep it brief.

So how does this process help people build self-awareness and communicate on a deeper level? These exercises help people practice behaviors that are conducive to resolving conflict and promoting peaceful interaction. They eliminate the distractions that occur in standard conversations and give everyone an equal voice. The trap many people fall into is thinking that these types of interactions have to be about someone winning and someone losing. Both sides try to impose their will and no common ground is identified. The difference in the process outlined here is that it gets rid of both side’s agendas, encourages them to empathize and allows them to generate solutions collaboratively.

Well-meaning people can come together and move past the standard grievances and recriminations that plague so many interactions and shift to a model where they build trust and understanding. There is a huge amount of power in listening to other people’s stories and making decisions based on commonalities and shared experiences. When you set up an environment where people are able to let go of unproductive behaviors you open the door to creating positive relationships and mutually beneficial problem solving. This approach isn’t a quick fix but it yields remarkable long-term results.

What will you do to increase self-awareness and promote deeper communication?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Know How to Get Unstuck

August 4, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Have you ever been stuck on some workplace problem or situation with no solution or options in sight? Leaders are expected to come up with brilliant ideas to keep their organizations moving but what often happens is that they lack self-awareness and unilaterally devise what they think is a wonderful strategy only to find that their employees hate, don’t understand, or aren’t on board with it. Everyone stays stuck rather than moving forward.

So how can you create a strategy that people genuinely like and support? Many leaders who lack self-awareness get stuck worrying about minute details and possible repercussions instead of focusing on the bigger picture. Every time you’re stuck is a great opportunity to tap into the amazing brainpower of your team. That’s right, why not consider working with your employees to collaboratively create a vision for getting unstuck? It’s invigorating to have a greater number of people at the table working collaboratively to develop new ideas. It also will help take some of the pressure off you.

The next time you’re feeling stuck, start shifting your thinking toward self-awareness and how things might look if you were moving in a different direction. Ask yourself and your team these key questions to get the process started:

What is keeping us stuck?
What is the first area we need to look at that is keeping us stuck?
What is the most innovative and different way we can deal with the issue at hand?
How does our new approach differ from our old approach?
How will we know if the new approach works?

The answers to these questions will help you and your team begin the process of seeing things in a different light. Then you can jointly create a plan to move forward. Sometimes all it takes to move in a more positive direction is being open to working collaboratively with your employees and asking for their amazing ideas.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and get unstuck?

Cheers,

Guy

Ways for Self-Aware Leaders to Celebrate Diversity

July 15, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-aware leaders frequently ask me how they can celebrate diversity in their organization. There’s no standardized formula, all it takes is some planning and goodwill. Try these ideas as you begin celebrating diversity in your workplace:

Celebrate everyone. Don’t just focus on a certain group, pay attention to everyone in the workplace.
Put diverse people in leadership positions. Nothing says that you care about diversity more than promoting diverse people to leadership positions.
Set up an ongoing diversity discussion. You’ll show exceptional commitment to diversity if you have a program that allows people to regularly discuss how it affects them.
Set an example. How you treat your employees and colleagues sets the tone for the organization.
Include diversity in your values. Not only is is advisable to have a diversity policy but make it one of your core values as in, “We will value people from all backgrounds and experiences.”

Try these ideas and see how they affect your workplace. Companies that try these kind of approaches find that they create an atmosphere of greater trust and employees who feel valued. What will you do to develop self-awareness and celebrate diversity in your organization?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Don’t Discipline Employees

July 10, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-aware leaders don’t discipline employees because they understand that being punitive is a poor approach to elicit better performance from people. So why do so many leaders and organizations insist on disciplining everyone? Because they lack self-awareness and the knowledge to do something differently.

See if you recognize this pattern: An employee does something against the rules and sets in motion a complex series of consequences which may include a verbal warning, counseling, reprimanding, written warning, heartfelt lecture and so on up to termination or taking away their TV privileges.

While I understand that workplaces need a standardized, consistent way of dealing with behaviors that break the rules, I’ve found it helpful to encourage an alternate approach that treats employees like thinking, capable people instead of children. Here are 5 ideas to help you deal with negative employee behaviors before you even think about going to the HR manual:

1. Ask the employee what happened and then listen without interrupting.

2. Ask the employee to tell you what they did that worked well toward fixing the situation and listen to them. Then ask them what didn’t work as well and listen.

3. Ask the employee to come up with three recommendations of what they would do to remedy the situation.

4. Ask the employee to take action on the most important recommendation and give you a time limit by when they will do it. When they report back ask them what three other things they recommend doing and have them follow-through on the top one of that set of ideas and report back.

5. Praise the employee for the corrections he or she has made.

The trap leaders who lack self-awareness fall into when disciplining employees is that they think they have to correct behaviors through external consequences or punishment rather than helping them learn positive behaviors. This overlooks the concept that employees are able to think for themselves and correct their own behavior.

When I talk with leaders about this approach I invariably get the question, “Well, what if the employee has no clue what to do?” My answer is, you won’t find out until you give them an opportunity to do it. Leaders are so used to running to the rule book that they forget that there are many other ways of resolving all kinds of workplace challenges. The key to this approach is practicing it until people get really good at it. This leads to employees who are able to think critically and problem-solve their own situations.

What will you do to develop self-awareness, stop disciplining employees, and start involving them in improving their own behaviors?

Cheers,

Guy