Self-Awareness in Leadership

Self-Awareness, Empathy, and Effective Communication

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Leaders who lack self-awareness often become so consumed with their own day-to-day experiences and perceptions of their environment that they forget that other people exist and have needs too. This behavior leads to a communication style based on a lack of meaningful connection and understanding between leadership and employees.

A frequently overlooked element of effective communication is empathy; the ability to understand what other people are going through from their perspective. When you master this skill, you communicate on a much deeper level because you’re being self-aware and connecting below the surface. It’s the difference between having civil but superficial conversations and genuinely understanding people.

My consulting clients often ask me why people behave the way they do and what they can do about it. That’s where self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication come in. When you communicate on a deeper level you move from being surprised by what people do to understanding their behavior. That’s because you’ve made a shift from assuming you know what they’re thinking and feeling to finding out what they’re really going through. How can you develop this skill? Try the following ideas:

1. Stop talking and listen actively instead.

2. Put yourself in the other person’s situation and imagine you’re experiencing the same thing from their vantage point.

3. When the other person is done talking, ask open-ended questions to encourage him or her to tell you more.

4. Remind yourself that what they’re saying isn’t about you, it’s about how they experience the world.

5. Strive to accept anything the person says as their perception rather than something that threatens you or must be changed.

When you use empathy as part of effective communication you move beyond being in the room with someone and saying words. You connect with them in a more meaningful way. Think in terms of how you feel when someone really values and appreciates what you’re thinking and feeling.

Empathy is about demonstrating that you value other people’s perspectives. They may not think exactly as you do but their thoughts mean as much to them as yours mean to you. Once you can empathize with someone else’s experience, you’re communicating in a way that shows them you respect where they’re coming from.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and empathy and practice effective communication?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Are Inspiring, Not Controlling

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Have you ever noticed that people often define leaders as those who can run around giving orders? I consult for many private and nonprofit organizations that lack self-awareness and swear leadership means being able to tell people what to do. It’s a highly directive style where the leader gives orders, expects them to be carried out and then gets agitated if they’re not. This approach has been in use since our distant ancestors decided it was a good idea to tell the kids to shut up and do as they’re told. This leadership style is pervasive in our workplaces even to the point where people greatly admire someone who “takes charge” or “pushes everyone to succeed.” The catch with this kind of approach is that it’s deeply rooted in controlling people rather than inspiring them.

It’s really easy to tell people what to do because it’s a one-way exchange that requires no self-awareness. You give the order, they deal with it. Inspiration is quite another thing because it’s about figuring out a way for people to feel like doing excellent work because they feel great about themselves and the organization. Here are some practical ways you can move from controlling to inspiring leadership.

  • Ask employees what they love to do and help them do it.
  • Have conversations with your employees where all you do is listen to them.
  • Let employees assign themselves tasks and set their own goals.
  • Brainstorm ideas with employees and actually use them to improve the organization.
  • Share information and ask for people’s ideas to improve it.
  • Find ways to delegate and let go of the need to control people and outcomes.
  • Set a positive example of how to treat people with kindness.
  • Ask your employees what inspires them and then help them do it.
  • Take a look at yourself and ask, “How can I be more inspiring every day.”
  • Admit your mistakes.
  • Be vulnerable once in a while.
  • Trust your employees.
  • Praise your employees.
  • Ask your employees how you can be more inspiring.

Try these ideas and you’ll find you start moving from trying to control employees to helping them be more inspired. It will take some effort because many workplaces are structured to run on control but, with practice and dedication, you will enjoy a workplace that is both more inspired and more productive.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and inspire employees?

Cheers,

Guy

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Don’t Think outside the Box

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Many leaders who lack self-awareness say that they think outside the box while they’re standing in it. It’s not that they’re being disingenuous, it’s just that the term has been used so much that it’s lost much of its meaning. So how do you know whether you’re genuinely outside the box? Here are a some key questions you can ask yourself to explore your perspective:

  • What have I done today that is different from what I’ve done before?
  • In what ways have I encouraged and supported my employees to think and behave differently?
  • In what ways have I worked on my own workplace thoughts and behaviors recently?
  • What is my standard way of doing things and what might I do differently to move in a new direction?
  • What new ways of doing things have I come up with recently?
  • What’s unique about me and my leadership approach?
  • In what ways am I using my unique talents and abilities and encouraging others to do the same?
  • What do I think about the rule book?
  • What have I created recently?
  • In what ways do I encourage creativity in the workplace?
  • How have I broadened my horizons recently?
  • How small does my workplace feel?
  • How do I deal with people who don’t share my vision or approach?
  • What occurs when new people come into my workplace?
  • What do I do to deal with unforeseen events?
  • In what ways do I tend to others’ needs?
  • How much of my work life is focused on my own needs?
  • In what ways do I make the workplace a better place for others?
  • Do people notice and talk to me about my outside the box approach?
  • In what ways have I made myself and others uncomfortable in order to grow?
  • What are my thoughts on change?
  • What do I do with outside ideas?
  • What do rules mean to me?
  • How many solutions are there to any given problem?
  • What’s important in the workplace?
  • What do I do to encourage people to motivate themselves from within?
  • Who am I?
  • If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, what does it mean to my workplace?
  • What is my level of self-awareness and what do I do to continuously build it up?

Thinking outside the box provides you with an amazing opportunity to welcome new ideas and build a highly functional, responsive and dynamic workplace. You’ll know you’re thinking expansively because you’ll get stuck less and you’ll have access to a larger pool of information. You’ll be more flexible and adaptable to any challenge that comes your way.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and actually think outside the box?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Essential Leadership Behaviors

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Many people are put in leadership positions with little or no preparation and then fall into behaviors based lack of self-awareness and unconscious thought. They tend to lead reactively and automatically based on what they experienced in their families and in previous work environments.

The idea in self-aware leadership is to lead consciously and deliberately rather than winging it and hoping it works. It’s the difference between taking some time to prepare beforehand and running from one emergency to another. Here are five leadership behaviors that will help you create a more inspiring workplace.

Be Organized

Make your life easier by doing top priority things first and less important tasks later. Take some time at the beginning of each week and each day to create a basic plan of what you need to get done. Create a workplace where people have a plan and aren’t putting out fires every moment, it’s much more productive and relaxing.

Let Other People Help You

Many leaders don’t realize that, no matter how driven and talented they may be, they still are stronger when they have other people helping them. One person simply can’t do as much as several people. Find ways to let go of the need to control things and invite others to assist you in creating a successful workplace. Encourage people to stretch and grow and let them add their unique insights and perspectives.

Communicate Openly

So much lost productivity and workplace toxicity develops because people don’t communicate regularly, calmly, respectfully and candidly. Train yourself and your employees to build excellent listening and speaking skills so that interactions flow effortlessly. The more open your workplace is to sharing information, the more you’ll get done and the fewer unforeseen obstacles you’ll encounter.

Be Kind

This means that you treat people with respect and value them at all times. You set reasonable limits and boundaries and behave in ways that build people up and highlight their strengths instead of pointing out deficiencies. Employees know that you set rules and guidelines but that you do it in a way that is caring and empathic.

Be Emotionally Healthy

Your organization is only as healthy as you feel inside. If you’re working out your unresolved issues on your employees you will limit your ability to set a positive example and be credible. People know when you’re doing stuff because of how you feel about yourself and they see you struggling. That’s why it’s a good idea to work out your own issues first before you lead others.

Self-aware leadership is about you taking personal responsibility for being as healthy and balanced as possible so that you’re in an optimal position to motivate others. When you behave effectively and appropriately you move from pushing people around to mobilizing them to do great things.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and practice positive leadership behaviors?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Encouraging Creativity in Your Workplace

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The daily challenges of running an organization have a way of diminishing creativity and producing a reactive work environment. Many well-intentioned leaders who lack self-awareness get so stuck in survival mode that they’re unable to take a breath or make even the smallest adjustments. They forget that creativity offers them the opportunity to move in any direction they want to, at any time. Here are three ways you can use your self-aware leadership skills to encourage creativity in your workplace:

Welcome the Future

Anticipate situations that might come your way and develop strategies to deal with them rather than running around putting out fires. Creativity is your gateway to the future because it helps you see things before they happen. Take the time to brainstorm regularly and use creativity to develop new ideas and solutions. Build a group of key people who meet regularly to brainstorm ideas to deal with any existing or potential challenge. Encourage them to think expansively and without limitations.

Value Your Employees’ Talents

Access your employees amazing talents and energy by letting them take on new challenges and do work that is meaningful to them. Provide them opportunities to acquire more education and skills and to broaden their horizons. Let go of the need to control people and trust that they are perceptive individuals who can come up with their own solutions. Ask for their input regularly. When employees are encouraged to use their brains they feel important and are more likely to share ideas to benefit the organization.

Seek Connections

If you’re isolated you can’t connect with others who might be able to help you become stronger. Creativity helps you connect with any individual or organization you want because you’re open to interacting and you’re not bound by preconceptions or self-imposed limitations. When you’re open to making connections you’ll meet people who appreciate what you do and can help you move forward.

As a leader, you get to decide how courageous and open to new possibilities you are and whether you decide to think expansively or not. Creativity is a valuable tool that can help you shift from lamenting limited choices to enjoying unlimited opportunities. What will you do to develop self-awareness and encourage creativity in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Leadership

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Self-awareness and leadership are two things that should never be without each other. Countless innocent people suffer the consequences of working for leaders who are not self-aware and who do things like:

  • Work out their personal issues on employees.
  • Get into power struggles due to control issues.
  • Have unhealthy, overbearing egos.
  • Micromanage.
  • Create constant conflict.
  • Impose their will at all costs.
  • Not listen to anyone’s opinion or ideas.
  • Play favorites or allow cliques.
  • Treat people rudely.
  • Only know how to express anger and fake happiness.
  • Create a workplace of fear.

The whole point of being a self-aware leader is that you are in touch with your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors to such a degree that you’re able to create a kind, caring, efficient workplace where everyone matters. A leader with self-awareness is likely to:

  • Be healthy emotionally and not get his or her stuff on others.
  • Not have a need to control or dominate.
  • Have a healthy sense of self and respect others’ individuality as well.
  • Let people do what they do well.
  • Have positive interactions with employees.
  • Let other people be part of the decision-making process.
  • Listen actively in all settings.
  • Bring people together.
  • Treat people with kindness and compassion.
  • Comfortable dealing with a wide range of emotions.
  • Create a workplace of courage.

In my experience training leaders, I’ve found that most of them do things from the first list. The irony is that our workplaces don’t have to be dysfunctional and toxic. The whole point of self-aware leadership is to encourage people to be balanced, and comfortable with themselves. The way you do it is to have ongoing training in place that helps leaders take an honest look at themselves and become healthier by learning and practicing the skills from the second list.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Soft Skills Training

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Many well-meaning leaders and organizations that lack self-awareness have high hopes for soft skills training and are perplexed when it fails. This phenomenon happens because they think three hours of soft skills training can change their entire workplace. They optimistically hire someone to facilitate a workshop or two and expect their leaders and employees will behave differently overnight. The missing ingredients are time and commitment.

People who lack self-awareness forget that it takes considerable time and effort for soft skills (such as team building, effective communication, leadership or diversity) to take root in an organization. Think of how long it took you to learn the behaviors you currently practice. It takes time to teach people new skills and many leaders and organizations overlook the following concepts for training success:

  1. Decide that this training is as important as any other part of your operation and commit to a long-term program.
  2. Designate a set time and place for the training.
  3. Implement your training from the top down, involve the highest level of leadership from the very beginning.
  4. Focus on training that helps people learn positive workplace behaviors.
  5. Pay a professional to develop and facilitate a training program based on your specific workplace.
  6. Attendance isn’t optional and is part of people’s work duties.
  7. Give employees the time and support needed to learn and practice new skills in the classroom and on the job.
  8. Make the training an integral part of your company culture.
  9. Measure the impact of the training as you move forward and make adjustments as needed.
  10. Train people so they can train others in the organization.

Try these ideas and you’ll find your training yields better results. The success of soft skills training depends on how committed an organization’s leadership is to making it happen. What will you do to develop self-awareness and help your soft skills training succeed?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy