Self-Consciousness

Conflict Resolution Requires Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Conflict Resolution Requires Self-Awareness

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership, Self-Consciousness / , ,

I recently facilitated a workshop on conflict resolution and I found it fascinating that almost no one possessed the self-awareness to understand their own role in conflict. I heard many comments about how the other person would be so much easier to get along with if they only did this or that but very little about what each participant would do himself or herself to improve the situation.

Conflict can be a horrible mess or it can be an opportunity for growth and increased understanding. The challenge for many people is that it requires putting their own issues aside in order to connect with someone else, which requires a high level of self-awareness. So how can you become more self-aware and resolve conflicts more easily? Try thinking of the following ideas the next time you feel a conflict coming on.

1. Be aware of your personal triggers. What sets you off?

2. Remember that you decide how you react to situations.

3. Only you can let someone make you mad.

4. Understand it’s not personal, people aren’t trying to slight you in general.

5. Learn to recognize exactly when someone is getting to you.

5. Where do you feel it? Identify where you feel the conflict in your body.

6. Do something different to interrupt the pattern.

If you deliberately give some thought to these areas you will find that you can increase your self-awareness, reduce the way conflict affects you, and move toward more positive interactions. It takes some discipline but it also affords you a way to not let conflict consume your life.

What will you do to develop your self-awareness and decrease the conflict around you?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Experiencing Kindness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Experiencing Kindness

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Self-awareness plays a big part in how we treat ourselves and others. People who are self-aware tend to be mentally healthier and able to treat themselves and other people with kindness. The more whole you are, the more likely you are to be able to empathize and care for other human beings.

Experiencing kindness as a child is a major part of being able to practice compassion as an adult. People who have not had families where kindness was the norm tend to be skeptical that it exists because they didn’t experience it in their formative years.

Kindness is really just another way of saying that you’re self-aware and mentally healthy enough to treat people with love, you care for them as if they are precious and deserve great tenderness and respect. It’s the only way to live a truly fulfilling life because, when you treat others well, it tends to create positive vibes in the universe.

People who value self-awareness often think in terms of how to increase the kindness in the world, whether it is by writing about love or challenging injustice. How will you develop your self-awareness and spread kindness in the world?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Finding Meaning in Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Finding Meaning in Life

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

Self-awareness is a vital to finding meaning in life because when you understand and are able to manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you can live more consciously, deliberately, and meaningfully.

If you’re searching for meaning in your life, you’re not alone. It can feel scary and uncomfortable to not know what direction your life is going in but you can find your path by asking yourself questions like:

  • Who am I deep inside?
  • What do I really want to do in life?
  • What brings me deep joy and fulfillment within myself?
  • What things am I doing to take care of myself?
  • In what ways am I following my true path in life?
  • What am I doing to love myself?
  • What resources am I using to help get me where I want to be?

When you ask yourself questions like these, you’ll be building self-awareness and moving toward finding the answers you’re looking for. It all starts by looking deep within yourself and doing the work necessary to live the life you want to.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and find meaning in life?

Cheers,

Guy

How to Use Self-Awareness to Fix a Relationship Problem - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How to Use Self-Awareness to Fix a Relationship Problem

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , ,

Self-awareness can help you fix your relationship problems because, when the people involved understand and can manage their emotions, thoughts, and actions, they are in a good position to resolve the situation.

Many people experience difficulties in their relationships and don’t know what to do about them. They repeat an endless cycle of getting hurt, hurting back and perpetuating the hurt through their actions. It even happens in dating situations and marriages where both people are kind, intelligent and caring. So what is it that causes this conflict and what can we do to increase our self-awareness and do something about the issue? It helps to first examine why conflict occurs. Here are some of the causes:

  • Neither person understands the other person’s point of view.
  • There is not a meeting of the minds on issues.
  • Neither side backs down.
  • Each side tries to win.
  • Neither side has the skills or knowledge to fix the problem.
  • The people involved are hurt, angry, frustrated or sad.

The good news is that you can help your situation by being self-aware and thinking about new ways of doing things. The key point is to start a process where nobody wins and both of you collaborate to find a solution that works for everyone involved. Consider using the following ideas to begin increasing your self-awareness and connecting with your significant other in ways that will benefit both of you.

  • You both agree to talk.
  • Set up an interruption-free time to talk.
  • Agree on one thing to talk about.
  • Brainstorm possible ideas to fix the problem.
  • Evaluate each option.
  • Agree together on the resolution that works best for both of you.
  • Work together to take action on the resolution.
  • Move to the next problem.
  • Think about getting a neutral person involved to mediate.

I also encourage my clients to do away with the word “problem” and look at the challenges in life as opportunities for personal growth and movement in a more positive direction. Looking at challenging situations in a positive light gives you the opportunity to actually fix things rather than repeating the same patterns.

So the next time you are in the middle of a fight, redirect your thoughts to the possibility that both of you can work together and purposefully resolve the matter. What will you do to increase your self-awareness and fix your relationship problems?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Power of Positive Thinking - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and the Power of Positive Thinking

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

Self-awareness is connected to positive thinking because, when you understand yourself deep inside, you’re able to focus your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a favorable direction.

I was recently facilitating a workshop with a group of people who had been through significant trauma in their lives and I posed the question, “Why is it that some people are able to move forward and others can’t?” Their responses included determination, resilience, and courage.

An answer I’ve found helpful is: People who overcome obstacles are those who develop their self-awareness so they are able to focus on the positive. This doesn’t mean that they minimize trauma or don’t acknowledge difficulties, it’s simply that they are able to understand themselves well enough to bypass the negative and concentrate on doing positive things.

Human beings have an amazing ability to move in any direction they want to. Right this moment you could take some small action to increase your self-awareness and change your life. All it takes is making a conscious decision to do something, anything. Being positive is about focusing on the things you can change and that you have control over.

We are able to change ourselves because we have control over what we do. Next time you feel like there is no hope, try doing one thing to interrupt those thoughts and that will move you in a positive direction. Time after time I’ve had clients tell me that all it took to change their lives was thinking positively about something they used to think of as negative.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and think positively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Can Help You Overcome Insecurity - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Can Help You Overcome Insecurity

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

Self-awareness can help you overcome insecurity because, the more you know yourself deep inside, the fewer reasons you’ll have to be insecure. Self-aware people understand themselves and their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors and are able to focus their energy in a positive direction. So how can you reduce insecurity? Let’s take a look.

Insecurity comes from deep within you and is often caused by messages you heard early in life. You can feel insecure even when things are going well in your life because it never goes away unless you heal it. The difficulty arises when your inner dialogue gets in the way of being a happy, balanced or effective person.

So what do you do if you regularly experience insecurity? If you’re really ready to move past it, you’ll work on understanding why you feel the way you do (increasing your self-awareness) and ask for help when you don’t have the answers. There is a pervasive myth that working on your issues should be avoided at all costs. That approach never leads to happiness because the issue never goes away and often gets worse the more you try to ignore it. No matter how much you try to stuff it back in the box, it always pops out again, often at inappropriate times. Doing the work is the only way to alleviate the situation.

Feeling secure comes from building your self-awareness. It’s the process of finding out who you are, what you love to do, what brings you joy, your interests, your passions in life and the issues that you need to resolve to move forward. When you understand yourself better, you make decisions based on feeling powerful and happy rather than insecure.

What will you do to build your self-awareness and reduce your insecurity?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Dealing with a Difficult Boss - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Dealing with a Difficult Boss

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , ,

Self-awareness is an invaluable skill to possess when dealing with a difficult boss. When you are comfortable with yourself and understand your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re better able to deal with any person who comes your way, no matter how challenging they may be.

It’s hard and unpleasant to work for a tyrant. Difficult bosses micromanage, keep us off balance, withhold information, shout at us, undermine our efforts, avoid us or perpetrate any number of behaviors that make our time in the workplace unpleasant.

This is all normal. If you think about it, people are thrown into the business world where they re-enact all the dramas from their upbringing and personal life on the people they manage. There are no classes on how to keep your personal strife from affecting your subordinates.

Regardless of what your boss does, there are things you can do to develop your self-awareness so you can take care of yourself and deal with the situation realistically. Think about the following ideas the next time you find yourself feeling exasperated by a troublesome boss:

1. It’s not about you. People behave the way they do because of their own issues. Just because they don’t know how to treat you well doesn’t mean that you have to take on that burden and feel bad about it. Remember to take care of yourself regardless of how your boss treats you.

2. It’s all in your perspective. Ever wonder why some people are bothered by a certain behavior and others take it in stride? You get to choose what you focus on. If you let your boss yank your chain you give up all your power. If you redirect or ignore negative behavior you become stronger.

3. Try something other than confrontation. Many people think that the only way to deal with challenging issues is to get in someone’s face. While this may stop the behavior temporarily, it rarely gets rid of the underlying cause. Do some research on two-way communication and problem solving to build up your ability to work with your boss on finding solutions.

4. Listen more than you talk. By listening you let the person tell you what’s going on and you learn a great deal about what’s causing them to behave in this negative manner. It also helps you avoid mistaken assumptions.

5. Leave your ego at the door. We tend to get caught up in trying to win battles or avoiding embarrassment but that gets in the way of actually fixing stuff. Model the behavior you want to see. A calm and caring attitude will get you farther than trying to prove that your point of view is correct.

6. Think long term. When trying to fix a situation with a difficult boss please realize that it will take considerable time to alleviate. Remember that it took them a long time to get to where they are, it will take long-term patience and kindness to interrupt the pattern. Expect that you will not get the results you desire the first few times you try this approach.

7. Stick with it. The only way situations change is by consistently repeating new behaviors. If you practice these steps over time, people will eventually become accustomed to your new way of doing things. Keep in mind that they may actually get worse initially before they get better.

8. Have an alternate plan. If all your efforts fail then you might need to evaluate your options for the future. Life is too short to endure poor treatment. You deserve to work at a place where you are appreciated. Start planning the next phase of your life today and you will have something positive to look forward to.

Nobody enjoys having a difficult boss but there are things we can do to increase our self-awareness, regain our power, and live a happier professional life. When you choose to work things out with a problematic boss you not only affect your interaction with him or her, you begin to take control of the remainder of your life.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and deal effectively with your difficult boss?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy