Self-Consciousness

Self-Awareness and Dealing with a Difficult Boss - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Dealing with a Difficult Boss

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , ,

Self-awareness is an invaluable skill to possess when dealing with a difficult boss. When you are comfortable with yourself and understand your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re better able to deal with any person who comes your way, no matter how challenging they may be.

It’s hard and unpleasant to work for a tyrant. Difficult bosses micromanage, keep us off balance, withhold information, shout at us, undermine our efforts, avoid us or perpetrate any number of behaviors that make our time in the workplace unpleasant.

This is all normal. If you think about it, people are thrown into the business world where they re-enact all the dramas from their upbringing and personal life on the people they manage. There are no classes on how to keep your personal strife from affecting your subordinates.

Regardless of what your boss does, there are things you can do to develop your self-awareness so you can take care of yourself and deal with the situation realistically. Think about the following ideas the next time you find yourself feeling exasperated by a troublesome boss:

1. It’s not about you. People behave the way they do because of their own issues. Just because they don’t know how to treat you well doesn’t mean that you have to take on that burden and feel bad about it. Remember to take care of yourself regardless of how your boss treats you.

2. It’s all in your perspective. Ever wonder why some people are bothered by a certain behavior and others take it in stride? You get to choose what you focus on. If you let your boss yank your chain you give up all your power. If you redirect or ignore negative behavior you become stronger.

3. Try something other than confrontation. Many people think that the only way to deal with challenging issues is to get in someone’s face. While this may stop the behavior temporarily, it rarely gets rid of the underlying cause. Do some research on two-way communication and problem solving to build up your ability to work with your boss on finding solutions.

4. Listen more than you talk. By listening you let the person tell you what’s going on and you learn a great deal about what’s causing them to behave in this negative manner. It also helps you avoid mistaken assumptions.

5. Leave your ego at the door. We tend to get caught up in trying to win battles or avoiding embarrassment but that gets in the way of actually fixing stuff. Model the behavior you want to see. A calm and caring attitude will get you farther than trying to prove that your point of view is correct.

6. Think long term. When trying to fix a situation with a difficult boss please realize that it will take considerable time to alleviate. Remember that it took them a long time to get to where they are, it will take long-term patience and kindness to interrupt the pattern. Expect that you will not get the results you desire the first few times you try this approach.

7. Stick with it. The only way situations change is by consistently repeating new behaviors. If you practice these steps over time, people will eventually become accustomed to your new way of doing things. Keep in mind that they may actually get worse initially before they get better.

8. Have an alternate plan. If all your efforts fail then you might need to evaluate your options for the future. Life is too short to endure poor treatment. You deserve to work at a place where you are appreciated. Start planning the next phase of your life today and you will have something positive to look forward to.

Nobody enjoys having a difficult boss but there are things we can do to increase our self-awareness, regain our power, and live a happier professional life. When you choose to work things out with a problematic boss you not only affect your interaction with him or her, you begin to take control of the remainder of your life.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and deal effectively with your difficult boss?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Common Good - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and the Common Good

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When you’re actively building self-awareness you understand how important your mental health and well-being are to promoting the common good. The more balanced you are, the more you empathize with others and treat them with kindness and compassion. Healthy, happy people tend to relate to others well because they don’t have the garbage that gets in the way of positive interactions, such as:

  • The need to control others.
  • The need to dominate.
  • The need to win.
  • The need to be better than others.
  • The need to get the last word in.
  • The need for power.
  • The need to be right.

These types of behaviors create divisions and adversarial relationships rather than mutual caring and collaboration. The key to building a kind community is for its members to be happy, balanced, fulfilled individuals who are able to treat others well. What will you do to be part of the common good?

Cheers,

Guy

Insecure Leaders Lack Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Insecure Leaders Lack Self-Awareness

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership, Self-Consciousness / , ,

Lack of self-awareness leads to insecure leaders who are unable to run their organizations effectively or interact positively with their employees. They focus way too much on unhealthy and unproductive behaviors rather than building positive, supportive, flexible workplaces.

Insecure leaders often do negative things in the workplace because they don’t feel great about themselves deep down inside, which comes from a lack of self-awareness about their own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, and how they impact others in the workplace.

Leaders display insecure behavior for many reasons including because they are frightened, feel threatened, are not in control of their own actions or emotions or feel like they are not important enough. Some leaders withdraw when they are insecure and others become overbearing or require a lot of support and attention. Regardless of how you behave, insecurity is about how you feel about yourself. So what can you do to feel great about yourself and your leadership abilities.

Consider the following ideas to boost your self-awareness and reduce your insecurity.

Characteristics of Secure Leaders

  • Aren’t threatened by others and don’t need to dominate.
  • Listen well and don’t talk on top of others.
  • Don’t require attention all the time.
  • Are comfortable with other people’s success.
  • Don’t feel they have to win.
  • Don’t put other people down to make themselves feel better.

Characteristics of Insecure Leaders

  • Threatened by others.
  • Talk a lot to get attention.
  • Need to be the center of attention.
  • Jealous of other people’s success.
  • Competitive, always need to win.
  • Put people down to feel better.

Which list do your behaviors reflect more often? If you see yourself on the insecure side, it’s not the end of the world, all you have to do is increase some of the positive traits. Even highly insecure people can feel better about themselves by practicing behaviors that allow them to experience their own success and help others do the same.

Leaders can increase their self-awareness by working out their own personal issues and finding ways to use their talents and abilities in the workplace. When you focus on building yourself up in positive ways you can then do the same for your workplace and employees. Being confident takes some practice but you’ll get to enjoy a more rewarding work life.

What will you do to develop your self-awareness and be a healthy, secure leader?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Kind to Yourself - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Being Kind to Yourself

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , ,

People are frequently quite hard on themselves and are constantly concerned about how well they are doing things. The key in life is to develop your self-awareness so you can truly understand your strengths and areas for improvement instead of just berating yourself over everything. Try this three-step process every day to start being kind with yourself.

1. Praise yourself for something you did today.
2. Do something positive that you enjoy.
3. Repeat every day.

Getting in the habit of doing these simple things can feel different at first but, over time, it leads to us doing things that make us feel good. It’s great when we can rely on ourselves rather than others to make us feel good. As you build your self-awareness you will begin to understand how to channel your emotions, thoughts, and behavior in a positive direction.

Next time you feel completely stressed out and about to explode, take a moment and try these steps instead of being hard on yourself. You are an amazing human being who deserves caring and affection. What will you do to be more self-aware and kind to yourself?

Cheers,

Guy

Characteristics of Someone with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Characteristics of Someone with Self-Awareness

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People frequently ask me to describe the characteristics of someone with self-awareness, here are some examples:

  • They’re in touch with their emotions and are comfortable with them, even when they’re unpleasant or difficult.
  • They’re comfortable with other people’s emotions.
  • Their thinking matches objective reality; they don’t make up scenarios that aren’t based on demonstrable fact.
  • They’re able to manage their thinking patterns and move even their most difficult thoughts in a positive direction.
  • Their actions lead in a positive direction for them and for others.
  • They deeply understand their strengths as well as their areas for improvement.
  • They’re always working on becoming the best version of themselves possible.
  • They work hard to heal their inner hurts, preferably by going to a professional therapist.
  • They’re genuinely happy with who they are deep inside.
  • They follow their dreams.
  • They live as themselves.
  • They’re open to new people, ideas, challenges and changes.
  • They relate well to others and build positive relationships.
  • They treat themselves and others with kindness and compassion.
  • They make the world a better place because they’re so comfortable with themselves that they’re able to freely help others.

Imagine your life if you possessed any number of these qualities. The wonderful thing is you can achieve them all if you choose to actively develop your self-awareness.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leadership and Developing a Clear Vision for Your Organization - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leadership and Developing a Clear Vision for Your Organization

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership, Self-Consciousness / , , ,

There are countless leaders who let their organizations drag them along as they hold on for dear life. For them, every workday is another exercise in reacting and trying to manage chaos. There’s a significant difference between letting your organization happen to you and having the self-awareness to make things happen proactively.

Do you have a clear vision at this moment of where you want to take your organization? If the answer is no, then ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I doing what I really want to do in my organization?

2. Do I feel successful and fulfilled when I leave work?

3. Does my organization build me up as a professional?

4. Do I have clear goals for the future of my organization?

5. Do I have a strategy or plan for how I will lead?

The answers to these questions will give you an idea of where your leadership could take your organization. Sometimes the only difference between leaders who succeed and those who don’t is their ability to plan proactively.

When you are actively working on developing your self-awareness, you’ll be able to asses your strengths and areas for improvement, thus making it easier to come up with a plan that moves your organization in a positive direction.

Take a moment this week to ask yourself these questions and to start planning your future success rather than reacting to whatever comes your way.  You’ll enjoy having a clearer vision of your organization’s progress. What will you do to practice self-aware leadership and develop a clear vision for your company?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Can Help You Change Your Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Can Help You Change Your Life

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , ,

People often ask me how to change their lives. The answer is to build up your self-awareness, which enables you to heal the hurts from your past and focus on positive emotions, thoughts, and behaviors to move forward. Changing your life requires deliberate action over time, there are no quick fixes.

The next time you are wondering how to change your life, try using the following steps to transform your situation.

1. Think of what you want to change.
2. Devise a strategy to change it.
3. Pick one goal.
3. Pick one task you can do to start achieving your goal.
4. Check in with yourself in a week to see if you achieved the goal.
5. If the goal needs revising, do so. If you’ve completed it, move to the next goal.
6. Reward yourself each time you complete a goal. No overindulging please.

It’s one thing to want to change your life, it’s quite another to actually do it. It requires a plan and conscious action over time. Put one foot in front of the other and strive to complete your goals. It’s normal to feel like giving up, just keep taking one small step at a time. You’ll eventually see the results.

No life change is easy. They all take deliberate effort but people achieve their goals all the time. There is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to do so as well. What will you do to develop your self-awareness and change your life?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy