People Who Lack Self-Awareness Get Stuck in Patterns - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

People Who Lack Self-Awareness Get Stuck in Patterns

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It’s really normal for people who lack self-awareness to get stuck in a pattern, even if it’s negative. They become accustomed to the pattern to the point where it becomes normal. They take it for granted and just live with it.

For many people the key to getting unstuck is to build self-awareness and do something differently. For example: If you’ve had a certain kind of results in a relationship, doing something different has the inevitable result of changing the situation. But there is one caveat, you have to do it consistently over time until the new behavior takes root.

Try taking some part of your life and consciously doing something differently. Do it over time until it becomes your new “normal.” Lather, rinse and repeat. This approach can be applied to any number of issues. Keep it simple and do one at a time, you’ll eventually see the results.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and avoid getting stuck in a negative pattern?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Guys Are Nice and Finish First - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Guys Are Nice and Finish First

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If you’ve ever heard the tired old saying that nice guys finish last, and believed it, then you might be surprised to find out that it’s profoundly wrong. For some unhealthy reason, our culture has decided that being self-aware and nice is an awful thing and that aggressive jerks are much happier. We’ve also convinced ourselves that whoever amasses the most stuff is naturally the winner. Perspectives like these ignore the things that really bring joy to people’s lives:

  • Possessing self-awareness.
  • Working through one’s unresolved issues.
  • Being comfortable with one’s emotions.
  • Treating people with kindness and empathy.
  • Doing things that make the world a better place for everyone.
  • Caring for the vulnerable.
  • Letting go of the need to win.
  • Not having to be on top of someone else to feel good about oneself.
  • Building positive relationships.
  • Helping everyone succeed.

No amount of money, power, or material possessions can make someone meaningfully happy. As you’ve probably read time after time, many extremely wealthy and powerful people are as miserable as can be, they just have a lot of stuff. They sit surrounded by their extravagant things in their expensive houses and have to work that much harder to convince themselves that it all means anything important.

Finishing first in life means that you’ve achieved the pinnacle of self-awareness where you are so healthy and comfortable with yourself that you spread peace and joy within yourself and throughout the world. The only things that really matter in life are how you feel deep inside about yourself, how well you treat others, and what nice things you do to improve everyone’s well-being; everything else is just window dressing. Nice guys finish first because they’ve done the hard work necessary to become so self-aware that they’re genuinely happy with themselves and are able to spread that joy. If you want to find out who really finishes last, look for the miserable person trying to make another million or billion so he can feel safe for another ten minutes.

What will you do to develop self-awareness, be nice, and live a great life?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Welcoming Change - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Welcoming Change

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When you have a high level of self-awareness, you welcome change more easily because you know yourself well and you’re able to find peace and balance no matter what happens in life. A lot of people feel out of control and live reactively because they don’t have a reliable inner compass that keeps them calm and stable. While they may project confidence on the outside, inside it’s a different story. Here are some ways to welcome change instead of running screaming from it:

  • Realize change is always happening.
  • Realize change will continue to happen.
  • Realize you can handle change.
  • Realize that change often opens up new doors of opportunity.
  • Realize that there are things about you that can benefit from change.
  • Realize that you can become stronger by changing.
  • Realize that change can heal you.
  • Realize that change can make your life more enjoyable and fulfilling.

The key to welcoming change is to do something positive with it instead of running around wishing things were different or agonizing about what you can’t control. What will you do to welcome change?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness, Congruence, and Happiness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness, Congruence, and Happiness

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Congruence is a big part of self-awareness and simply means that your thoughts and actions match each other. A lot of people live lives where they think one thing but behave in ways that aren’t consistent with those thoughts. This creates tension and inner conflict.

One of the best ways to achieve congruence is to act in ways that are consistent with what you think. For example: If you say you’re going to do something, do it; if you believe something, make sure your actions match. You’ll feel happier and more balanced once you bring your thoughts and actions together.

So many people live terribly unhappy lives because they pretend to be someone they’re not or believe things that don’t stand up to any kind of reasonable scrutiny. Save yourself a lot of pain and misery by working on healing the hurts from your past and educating yourself so you can live a life of courage and joy.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and congruence so you can be happier?

Cheers,

Guy

What Is Self-Awareness and Are You Self-Aware? - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

What Is Self-Awareness and Are You Self-Aware?

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Self-awareness is a significant part of personal development and it refers to being aware of how your thoughts and behaviors affect you and others. Many people are aware enough to identify things that need attention in their lives but they forget to take action to make it happen. There’s a big difference between knowing you do something and understanding it well enough to move it in a positive direction. Here are some signs you’re self-aware:

  • You’re able to deal with and direct your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.
  • You build positive relationships, including the one you have with yourself.
  • You genuinely like yourself and others do as well.
  • You live life based on what you really love doing.
  • You know yourself well.
  • You treat yourself and others with kindness and empathy.
  • You understand how the things you feel, think, and do affect you and others.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Emotional Depth - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Emotional Depth

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When you enjoy a high level of self-awareness you’re also likely in touch with your emotions, which helps you relate well to others and live a happier life. Here are some of the characteristics of emotional depth:

  • You recognize and understand other people’s feelings.
  • You understand how your emotions affect others.
  • You don’t work out your personal hurts on other people.
  • You don’t blindly run over people because you’re trying to ignore or placate some deeper emotional issue inside you.
  • You don’t pretend emotions don’t exist or put down people who are “too emotional.”
  • People like you.
  • You’re successful because you’re a nice person.
  • You live a life of empathy.

Many people think that being emotional is something to be avoided at all costs when it’s really just a natural part of being a human being. It’s how you deal with your emotions that impacts how balanced and at peace you are. What will you do to increase your emotional depth?

Cheers,

Guy

How Leaders Become Self-Aware - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How Leaders Become Self-Aware

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I’m fascinated by the question of how leaders become self-aware because it seems like such a daunting challenge for so many of them. I was facilitating a leadership training a few years ago and it became apparent that several participants had no idea how they were viewed by their employees or what kind of workplace environment they were creating. I had staff members confide in me during breaks that the way these leaders were portraying themselves was very different from how other people perceived their actions.

Becoming self-aware is important because it allows you to make positive adjustments and become an even better leader. Here are some practical questions you can ask yourself to start developing your level of self-awareness:

  • Think about your behavior. What works, what doesn’t, and what might you do differently?
  • How well do you deal with your and others’ emotions?
  • How does your thinking affect your workplace?
  • What are the unresolved issues inside you that require healing?
  • How do your employees really view you?
  • What type of work environment does your leadership create?
  • What situations keep coming up in your workplace and how does your leadership style affect them?
  • What type of results do you get and at what cost?
  • How open are you to learning new things and changing your leadership approach?

Think about questions like these and you’ll begin the process of becoming more self-aware. Leaders who take a look at themselves are able to grow and adapt because they’re open to examining their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. They have the ability to welcome change and improve their skills. They also get to be happier because they can let go of the things that don’t work and focus on approaches that do.

Becoming more self-aware doesn’t mean tearing yourself down or feeling like you’re a failure, it’s a process you embark on to become stronger and more proactive. What would you add to this list?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy