Self-Awareness and Living Consciously - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Living Consciously

Most people live unconsciously, without much self-awareness, bouncing around from one event to another and reacting based on whatever they feel at that particular moment. They automatically repeat the patterns and roles they learned in their families or wherever they grew up and never move past them. That’s why you see so many adults who behave like children or are perpetually stuck in high school.

Living consciously is an entirely different approach to life. It means building up you self-awareness by getting to know yourself so well that you can deliberately feel, think, and behave positively. It means that you don’t react to things based on your hurts, you actively choose an affirmative path. You’re able to think not only about yourself, but about others and the greater good. You move past reacting to people and events and become a creator and promoter of beautiful things.

There’s no secret to living consciously, it just takes deliberate effort. Be mindful of the things you do each day and take small actions to move in the direction of your dreams. Heal the hurts from your past and move forward courageously to live the life you really want to. What will you do to develop self-awareness and live consciously?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness, Empathy, and Effective Communication - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness, Empathy, and Effective Communication

Leaders who lack self-awareness often become so consumed with their own day-to-day experiences and perceptions of their environment that they forget that other people exist and have needs too. This behavior leads to a communication style based on a lack of meaningful connection and understanding between leadership and employees.

A frequently overlooked element of effective communication is empathy; the ability to understand what other people are going through from their perspective. When you master this skill, you communicate on a much deeper level because you’re being self-aware and connecting below the surface. It’s the difference between having civil but superficial conversations and genuinely understanding people.

My consulting clients often ask me why people behave the way they do and what they can do about it. That’s where self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication come in. When you communicate on a deeper level you move from being surprised by what people do to understanding their behavior. That’s because you’ve made a shift from assuming you know what they’re thinking and feeling to finding out what they’re really going through. How can you develop this skill? Try the following ideas:

1. Stop talking and listen actively instead.

2. Put yourself in the other person’s situation and imagine you’re experiencing the same thing from their vantage point.

3. When the other person is done talking, ask open-ended questions to encourage him or her to tell you more.

4. Remind yourself that what they’re saying isn’t about you, it’s about how they experience the world.

5. Strive to accept anything the person says as their perception rather than something that threatens you or must be changed.

When you use empathy as part of effective communication you move beyond being in the room with someone and saying words. You connect with them in a more meaningful way. Think in terms of how you feel when someone really values and appreciates what you’re thinking and feeling.

Empathy is about demonstrating that you value other people’s perspectives. They may not think exactly as you do but their thoughts mean as much to them as yours mean to you. Once you can empathize with someone else’s experience, you’re communicating in a way that shows them you respect where they’re coming from.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and empathy and practice effective communication?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Are Inspiring, Not Controlling - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Are Inspiring, Not Controlling

Have you ever noticed that people often define leaders as those who can run around giving orders? I consult for many private and nonprofit organizations that lack self-awareness and swear leadership means being able to tell people what to do. It’s a highly directive style where the leader gives orders, expects them to be carried out and then gets agitated if they’re not. This approach has been in use since our distant ancestors decided it was a good idea to tell the kids to shut up and do as they’re told. This leadership style is pervasive in our workplaces even to the point where people greatly admire someone who “takes charge” or “pushes everyone to succeed.” The catch with this kind of approach is that it’s deeply rooted in controlling people rather than inspiring them.

It’s really easy to tell people what to do because it’s a one-way exchange that requires no self-awareness. You give the order, they deal with it. Inspiration is quite another thing because it’s about figuring out a way for people to feel like doing excellent work because they feel great about themselves and the organization. Here are some practical ways you can move from controlling to inspiring leadership.

  • Ask employees what they love to do and help them do it.
  • Have conversations with your employees where all you do is listen to them.
  • Let employees assign themselves tasks and set their own goals.
  • Brainstorm ideas with employees and actually use them to improve the organization.
  • Share information and ask for people’s ideas to improve it.
  • Find ways to delegate and let go of the need to control people and outcomes.
  • Set a positive example of how to treat people with kindness.
  • Ask your employees what inspires them and then help them do it.
  • Take a look at yourself and ask, “How can I be more inspiring every day.”
  • Admit your mistakes.
  • Be vulnerable once in a while.
  • Trust your employees.
  • Praise your employees.
  • Ask your employees how you can be more inspiring.

Try these ideas and you’ll find you start moving from trying to control employees to helping them be more inspired. It will take some effort because many workplaces are structured to run on control but, with practice and dedication, you will enjoy a workplace that is both more inspired and more productive.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and inspire employees?

Cheers,

Guy

Lack of Self-Awareness and Ignoring Facts - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Lack of Self-Awareness and Ignoring Facts

Building your self-awareness leads to living a more cohesive, integrated, happy life. I’ve noticed over the years that some people make life more complicated than it needs to be because they ignore facts. It takes a huge amount of time and energy to pretend that something false is true, and all the while you’re trying to support something inaccurate, you’re wasting your life.

The much easier and more satisfying path in life is to stick to demonstrable facts, which will keep you from bending yourself into a pretzel shape to explain things. A big reason I enjoy providing life guidance for people who value self-awareness is that they tend to be open to all kinds of facts and ideas and are comfortable with exploring new avenues of knowledge and understanding.

Life becomes infinitely more complex when you lack self-awareness and try to pretend that facts don’t matter. If you don’t believe in verifiable data then you have to create a whole alternative reality that requires constant rationalization and explanation. The easier route is to just make sure that your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors align with actual evidence so you can live wide awake.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and base your life on verifiable facts?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Managing Expectations - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Managing Expectations

When I talk with people who lack self-awareness, I often hear a recurring theme about not being loved or not having kindness reciprocated. This is a very common theme in relationships: one person expects one thing only to have their hopes dashed, the other seems oblivious.

The difficulty arises when we hold on to our expectations even when we see repeated evidence that we will never get what we expect. Expectations then become more of a hindrance than help. Some people hang on to expectations perhaps mistakenly thinking they stand for hope.

Hope is greatly affected by our level of self-awareness and the actions we take. If we move in directions that lead us down the same path no amount of hope can change the course. If, however, we do things differently then we can begin entertaining hope that things will change because we are actually breaking the patterns we’ve established.

Changing the way we do things is the only way to modify our situation. No amount of hope or expectations can take the place of real communication and work in our relationships. The great news is that we can do things to change the course of our relationships, they just take some courage and movement in a different direction.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and manage your expectations?

Cheers,

Guy

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Don't Think outside the Box - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Don’t Think outside the Box

Many leaders who lack self-awareness say that they think outside the box while they’re standing in it. It’s not that they’re being disingenuous, it’s just that the term has been used so much that it’s lost much of its meaning. So how do you know whether you’re genuinely outside the box? Here are a some key questions you can ask yourself to explore your perspective:

  • What have I done today that is different from what I’ve done before?
  • In what ways have I encouraged and supported my employees to think and behave differently?
  • In what ways have I worked on my own workplace thoughts and behaviors recently?
  • What is my standard way of doing things and what might I do differently to move in a new direction?
  • What new ways of doing things have I come up with recently?
  • What’s unique about me and my leadership approach?
  • In what ways am I using my unique talents and abilities and encouraging others to do the same?
  • What do I think about the rule book?
  • What have I created recently?
  • In what ways do I encourage creativity in the workplace?
  • How have I broadened my horizons recently?
  • How small does my workplace feel?
  • How do I deal with people who don’t share my vision or approach?
  • What occurs when new people come into my workplace?
  • What do I do to deal with unforeseen events?
  • In what ways do I tend to others’ needs?
  • How much of my work life is focused on my own needs?
  • In what ways do I make the workplace a better place for others?
  • Do people notice and talk to me about my outside the box approach?
  • In what ways have I made myself and others uncomfortable in order to grow?
  • What are my thoughts on change?
  • What do I do with outside ideas?
  • What do rules mean to me?
  • How many solutions are there to any given problem?
  • What’s important in the workplace?
  • What do I do to encourage people to motivate themselves from within?
  • Who am I?
  • If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, what does it mean to my workplace?
  • What is my level of self-awareness and what do I do to continuously build it up?

Thinking outside the box provides you with an amazing opportunity to welcome new ideas and build a highly functional, responsive and dynamic workplace. You’ll know you’re thinking expansively because you’ll get stuck less and you’ll have access to a larger pool of information. You’ll be more flexible and adaptable to any challenge that comes your way.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and actually think outside the box?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Essential Leadership Behaviors - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Essential Leadership Behaviors

Many people are put in leadership positions with little or no preparation and then fall into behaviors based lack of self-awareness and unconscious thought. They tend to lead reactively and automatically based on what they experienced in their families and in previous work environments.

The idea in self-aware leadership is to lead consciously and deliberately rather than winging it and hoping it works. It’s the difference between taking some time to prepare beforehand and running from one emergency to another. Here are five leadership behaviors that will help you create a more inspiring workplace.

Be Organized

Make your life easier by doing top priority things first and less important tasks later. Take some time at the beginning of each week and each day to create a basic plan of what you need to get done. Create a workplace where people have a plan and aren’t putting out fires every moment, it’s much more productive and relaxing.

Let Other People Help You

Many leaders don’t realize that, no matter how driven and talented they may be, they still are stronger when they have other people helping them. One person simply can’t do as much as several people. Find ways to let go of the need to control things and invite others to assist you in creating a successful workplace. Encourage people to stretch and grow and let them add their unique insights and perspectives.

Communicate Openly

So much lost productivity and workplace toxicity develops because people don’t communicate regularly, calmly, respectfully and candidly. Train yourself and your employees to build excellent listening and speaking skills so that interactions flow effortlessly. The more open your workplace is to sharing information, the more you’ll get done and the fewer unforeseen obstacles you’ll encounter.

Be Kind

This means that you treat people with respect and value them at all times. You set reasonable limits and boundaries and behave in ways that build people up and highlight their strengths instead of pointing out deficiencies. Employees know that you set rules and guidelines but that you do it in a way that is caring and empathic.

Be Emotionally Healthy

Your organization is only as healthy as you feel inside. If you’re working out your unresolved issues on your employees you will limit your ability to set a positive example and be credible. People know when you’re doing stuff because of how you feel about yourself and they see you struggling. That’s why it’s a good idea to work out your own issues first before you lead others.

Self-aware leadership is about you taking personal responsibility for being as healthy and balanced as possible so that you’re in an optimal position to motivate others. When you behave effectively and appropriately you move from pushing people around to mobilizing them to do great things.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and practice positive leadership behaviors?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy