Self-Aware People Learn from Conflict - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Learn from Conflict

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Self-aware people learn from conflict because they understand their and others’ emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, and how each party can contribute to making matters worse or better.

Some people love conflict and some run screaming from it. Yet conflict can signal that something very important is happening and that we need to pay attention. Conflict is also a great opportunity to build self-awareness and learn about each other to fix things for the better. Try these tips the next time you have and issue with someone:

1. Name the problem (what is it).
2. Each of you describe how you see the problem.
3. Come up with a few ways to fix the problem.
4. Agree and choose one solution.
5. Get an outside person involved if you can’t decide on a solution.

I’ve found that if two people just sit down and agree to talk (respectfully and without shouting) they can resolve even the most complex problem. It’s wonderful to see two people come to an agreement and figure out a way to resolve a nagging issue. It’s almost like a weight has been lifted off their back.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and learn from conflict?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Taking Action Go Hand in Hand - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Taking Action Go Hand in Hand

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Self-awareness and taking action go hand in hand because, when you understand your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you are in a great position to do things to move your life forward consciously and positively.

The only difference between those who succeed and those who stay stuck is taking action. I’m always amazed at the incredible things people can do when they decide to act to make their dreams a reality. Here’s what some smart people say about the subject:

Annie Dillard:

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

Aristotle:

Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.

Alfred Adler:

Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.

Anatole France:

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.

Ann Radcliffe:

One act of beneficence, one act of real usefulness, is worth all the abstract sentiment in the world.

Go out today and take action to make your dreams a reality, you’ll be glad you did. Remember that you don’t have to do everything at once, just do one small thing each day and, over time, you’ll see the results in your life. What will you do to develop self-awareness and take action?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Loving Yourself - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Loving Yourself

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Loving yourself is easier when you possess self-awareness because you understand who you are at a deeper level and are able to live authentically. A lot of people walk through life barely liking who they are and it shows in their thoughts and actions toward themselves and others, including behaviors like self-sabotage, unhealthy relationships and not pursuing their dreams. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll have a difficult time discovering the real you because it will remain hidden until you’re ready.

The key to being happy in life and genuinely loving who you are is to understand your strengths and areas for improvement. Take a careful look at the things you think, feel and do that bring you success and those that don’t and work on improving the areas that need some attention. Loving yourself is an ongoing process of looking at yourself, keeping the things that build you up and letting go of the stuff that holds you back. As you do more positive things in life, you’ll grow to admire the person you’ve become. What will you do to start loving yourself?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Why Your Voice Matters - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Why Your Voice Matters

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Your voice matters because no one else in the world thinks exactly the same way as you do. An important part of self-awareness is the ability to understand who you are deep inside and share the real you with the world in a positive way. Your point of view is valuable and your insights can enrich other people’s lives.

A lot of people are scared to use their real voices because they think they’ll be judged or not fit in with their social groups. In my experience, showing the world who you really are deep inside is part of being a fully developed, sensitive, compassionate, courageous human being. It means you’ve reached a point where you’re so comfortable with yourself that you’re able to be vulnerable and share your authentic thoughts and feelings.

You have the potential to use your voice to positively impact the world around you rather than falling into the trap of using it to perpetuate negativity and misery. The more self-awareness you possess, the more likely you’ll be to use your voice to help others, and the happier you’ll be.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and make your voice matter?

Cheers,

Guy

The Importance of Self-Awareness in Social Work - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

The Importance of Self-Awareness in Social Work

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As someone with a family services, program management, and personal/professional development background, as well as an MSW, I’ve had the pleasure of working with a wide range of people, both self-aware and otherwise. A question that often crossed my mind as I worked with social workers is whether they understood the importance of self-awareness in social work. It’s vitally important for social workers to possess a high degree of self-awareness because it directly impacts their clients. I’ll share some real-world examples of social worker behaviors that are both self-aware and unaware. Here are some things social workers who lack self-awareness do:

  • They become enmeshed with clients to the point that they hamper the client’s progress.
  • They are unable to determine where they end and the client begins due to a lack of healthy boundaries.
  • They aren’t aware of how their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors affect them or their clients.
  • They function based on the need to dominate or control instead of facilitating.
  • Their self-esteem is derived from their clients liking or looking up to them.
  • They enable their clients’ less-than-positive behaviors.
  • They prolong the worker/client relationship way past its expiration date.
  • They make clients dependent on them.
  • They are in constant conflict with co-workers, subordinates, and colleagues.
  • They make things more difficult than they have to be.
  • They refuse to work with other professionals due to their own personal issues.
  • They work out their personal issues on their clients.
  • They lack empathy.
  • They like power a little too much.
  • They make things difficult for others, often acting as a gatekeeper.
  • They yearn for public recognition.
  • They set up fiefdoms and zealously guard their power.
  • They haven’t healed their own hurts before trying to heal others.
  • They’re personally unhappy.

Although these behaviors are common in many fields, they are especially counterproductive in client/worker relationships because the client’s wellness and success in life is at stake. On the other hand, social workers who possess self-awareness do things like:

  • Constantly work on healing their own hurts so they can be as healthy as possible for their clients.
  • Establish and adhere to healthy boundaries.
  • Do things that encourage collaboration with other professionals to help the client.
  • Possess empathy.
  • Are deeply aware of and are able to manage their own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors and understand how they affect their clients.
  • Are not interested in power, control, or having to appear special in some way.
  • They make things easy for people, going the extra mile to be helpful in a professional way.
  • They understand clients’ issues are not theirs.
  • They have healthy, professional relationships with clients.
  • They facilitate the process of clients’ finding their own answers.
  • They know how to help someone and get out of the way.
  • They’re balanced, happy, healthy people.
  • They enjoy healthy personal and professional relationships.
  • They understand, value, and possess self-awareness.

One of the main reasons I write this blog is that I’ve seen my fair share of people damaging other people and I told myself many years ago that I would do what I could to help people become more aware of what they were feeling, thinking, and doing so they could live positively and build a better world for everyone. Ultimately, the importance of self-awareness in social work is that it greatly increases the well-being and chances of success for the social worker, the client, and the world.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Hope - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Hope

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Self-awareness gives you hope because you’re able to live proactively and consciously rather than enduring whatever comes your way. If you don’t know yourself very well you might see the world as a vast, unknown, scary entity that has total control over you, which might lead you to say things like:

  • Life is hard and it will always be.
  • I have no opportunities.
  • I can only rely on myself.
  • Things will never change.

Fortunately, you have a lot of control over your thoughts, feelings and behaviors and you can view even the most difficult situations from whatever perspective you choose. For example, you could convert the statements above to ones that indicate you understand how much power you have:

  • Life may be hard at times but I can decide to move forward positively.
  • I’m going to look for the opportunities in this situation.
  • I know I can rely on myself but I can also connect with others.
  • I can make change happen.

Each of these sets of examples represents a different worldview: One is based on the assumption that the world is harsh and negative and the other suggests that you can affect your environment even if things are difficult. When you understand yourself really well, you shift from living passively to choosing how you experience the world. What will you do to increase your hopefulness through self-awareness?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Thinking of Others - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Thinking of Others

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One of the most difficult tasks for human beings is being able to think of others. It takes a significant amount of self-awareness and lack of ego to consider the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of others.

Why even worry about others? We don’t live alone in this world, there are billions of other souls we impact both directly and indirectly through our thoughts and actions. Do something negative and it ripples not only inside you, but through the cosmos. Do something positive and the effects build a better world.

Paradoxically, thinking of others allows us to become more well-rounded, balanced human beings. When we treat others with kindness and compassion, we become more caring toward ourselves.

People who are actively building self-awareness often find that they are able to think beyond themselves to the plight of humanity. As they become more and more happy with who they are, they are better able to understand and feel what others are going through.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and think of others?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy