Self-Awareness and Communication in Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Communication in Relationships

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People often ask me what to do on a date or in a relationship when trying to start a conversation. Many people who lack self-awareness learned how to communicate in their families or with friends or colleagues and only know one communication style: The one they’ve used since they became adults. Learning a couple of basic skills can help you make the most of communicating with anyone. Try these ideas the next time you are talking to a date or someone you are in a relationship with:

1. Listen actively.
2. Ask open ended questions.
3. Listen actively.
4. Did I mention listening actively?

One of the easiest ways to demonstrate self-awareness and help a conversation get started and build is to listen and ask questions. To be an active listener try the following:

1. Look at the other person.
2. Really listen carefully and give all your attention to what the other person says rather than thinking about what you want to say next.
3. Nod or say uh-huh to indicate you are listening.

Open-ended questions are formed by asking questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no. Ask “What did you think about that?” rather than “I bet your really thought that was horrible.” The open-ended question invites the other person to tell you more rather than answering yes or no.

Try these common sense ideas and you will be on your way to gaining a new, better understanding of other people. What will you do to develop self-awareness and improve the communication in your relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Resilience - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Resilience

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Self-awareness helps you build resilience so you’re able to bounce back from any setback in your life. When you understand your strengths and areas for improvement, you’re able to adjust accordingly, acquire extra knowledge when necessary, and make positive decisions that reflect who you really are.

People who get stuck often lack the perspective to realize that they have other options in life. They’re so focused on one way of doing things that they overlook the many other opportunities that could help them be much more flexible and happy. As you increase your self-awareness you’ll begin to understand that you have a lot of talents and abilities inside you to work through difficult times. Even when obstacles seem insurmountable, you’ll be able to draw on your self-knowledge and live happily and authentically. What will you do to increase your resilience?

Cheers,

Guy

15 Signs of Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

15 Signs of Self-Awareness

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , , , , ,

Here are fifteen signs that a person has self-awareness:

  • Understand themselves better.
  • Behave proactively instead of reactively.
  • Connect more meaningfully with others.
  • Feel more at ease with themselves.
  • Have worked through past hurts.
  • Behave positively.
  • Pursue their dreams.
  • Enjoy positive relationships.
  • Treat others with kindness and compassion.
  • Have less conflict in their lives.
  • Understand where they end and others begin.
  • Have healthy boundaries.
  • Do things to help others.
  • Make the world a better place.
  • Live life based on their true selves.

You’ll know you’re around someone with self-awareness because they are following their dreams and do things in a way that bring joy to themselves and others. What would you add to this list?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Everyone Being on the Same Page - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Everyone Being on the Same Page

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership / , , ,

A frequently overlooked detail of team building is that it is most effective when everyone has self-awareness and is on the same page. If you’ve ever tried to build a team and had it go off course due to one or two individuals, you can be quite certain it’s because not everyone is self-aware enough to be on the same page and practice the same behaviors. For example: You’ve worked diligently to create a great team and then someone else joins the group who throws everything off-balance. Perhaps the person has a strong personality or different vision, he or she can make the whole team unravel.

The effect on teams of having even one person who lacks self-awareness and isn’t fully on board with the process is that your team is only as strong as that person. This happens a lot in organizations where much of the decision making is done by one leader and not by a team. In workplaces like that you get teams that function based on the perspective of one person rather than the input of many.

The challenge in team building is to create an environment where everyone has an important voice and is an equal part of the group instead of having one or two people making decisions for everyone else. A positive way to help your team members get on the same page is to set some basic guidelines for participation. Train everyone so that they understand that everyone’s voice is equal and that no one person is more valuable than the next. Make sure you have a  in your meetings who understands how to get rid of power differentials and the interactions that sidetrack successful team meetings. If a new person joins the group, bring them into the process and train them on the guidelines as well as encouraging team members to model positive behaviors. If someone insists on derailing the process keep reiterating the group guidelines and practicing the positive behaviors. Team building isn’t a one-shot process, it takes time and deliberate effort to make it work.

The idea with team building is to create an atmosphere where everyone feels included, valued, important and comfortable participating. This allows leaders to build teams that aren’t derailed by a strong personality or power differentials and, instead, move toward groups where everyone is highly motivated to participate. When everyone on the team is invited and encouraged to provide input you and your organization can achieve greater success because everyone will feel like contributing.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and create stronger teams?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Boosting Your Self-Esteem - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Boosting Your Self-Esteem

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , ,

People frequently ask me how they can boost their self-esteem, especially when they’re feeling down. Building yourself up is a lifelong and continuing process that requires self-awareness to be able to evaluate and focus your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in order to move forward positively.

There are no set rules on how you should feel on any given day but there are some things that can help you boost your self-awareness and how you feel about yourself. The great thing about self-esteem is that you can increase it at any time, all it takes is some conscious action. Here are some ideas to help you get started:

  • Do things you love doing.
  • Celebrate your successes.
  • Focus on positive things.
  • Associate with people that support you.
  • Listen to your inner voice.
  • Keep moving forward even when it seems difficult.
  • Take small steps but always keep stepping.
  • Develop goals you are working toward.
  • Do nice things for yourself that don’t cost money.
  • Look in the mirror and say positive things to yourself.

Building self-esteem is a process of continuing to support and celebrate yourself. It doesn’t come all at once or even stay constant but you can make sure it is strong by staying active and continuing to take action. There will always be negative things that come along but, if you work on increasing your self-esteem, you will find that you can weather any storm.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and boost your self-esteem?

Cheers,

Guy

Insecurity Is a Normal Part of Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Insecurity Is a Normal Part of Self-Awareness

/ / Self and Self-Awareness / , , , , , , ,

Insecurity is a normal part of developing self-awareness because it indicates that you understand that some area of your life that needs improvement. No one feels 100% confident all the time and everyone has doubts. The trick is to use those feelings as inspiration to keep learning and growing instead of letting them affect you and others in less that wonderful ways.

People who are always insecure lack the self-awareness to move past those feelings. The key to getting rid of insecurity is to determine what’s causing it and continue taking action even when it feels difficult. As you keep doing positive things, you’ll gradually feel more confident and less insecure.

Here are some signs you’re moving past insecurity:

  • You feel happier and more balanced.
  • You’re able to overcome obstacles.
  • You like yourself more.
  • You feel more confident but not in an arrogant or fake way.
  • You don’t feel the need to compete to prove how great you are.
  • You help other people succeed.
  • You behave with kindness and empathy.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Are Visionary - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Are Visionary

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership / , ,

Self-aware leaders are visionary because they have worked through the issues that get in the way of creativity and are able to see the big picture and look ahead instead of being stuck always doing the same unproductive things.

If you want to be a profoundly average leader who lacks self-awareness, unvisionary leadership allows you to create a mediocre workplace where people are unhappy, undervalued and underutilized so that someone can make a buck. A large percentage of our workplaces follow this approach when they could just as easily design a profitable organization that treats it’s people well and functions nimbly and creatively. Here are some examples of the contrast between unvisionary and visionary leadership:

Unvisionary: Focus on making money regardless of how you treat employees.
Visionary: Make money while treating your employees kindly and compassionately.

Unvisionary: Find ways to cut pay, perks and benefits.
Visionary: Identify ways to increase pay, perks and benefits.

Unvisionary: Use punishment to try to manage behavior.
Visionary: Use positive reinforcement to encourage positive behavior.

Unvisionary: Spend each day scrambling from one emergency to the next.
Visionary: Plan calmly in advance and include your employees in the process.

Unvisionary: Limit employees’ input and keep them in a box.
Visionary: Encourage creative thinking and listen to people’s ideas.

Unvisionary: Resist change.
Visionary: Welcome change.

Unvisionary: Run your organization from the top down.
Visionary: Give people at all levels power, automy and decision-making ability.

Unvisionary: Provided limited training and expect people to perform perfectly.
Visionary: Provide ongoing training and educational opportunities.

Unvisionary: Make sure people in leadership positions have no self-awareness.
Visionary: Hire or train emotionally intelligent, compassionate leaders.

Your workplace reflects your underlying leadership values and beliefs. Any shift in how your organization functions begins with you imagining that things can be different. You can choose to design a workplace that makes a profit while honoring employees, but it can’t happen unless you believe it’s possible and are willing to take action to make it a reality.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and practice visionary leadership?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy