Define Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Define Self-Awareness

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My clients often ask me to define self-awareness clearly so they can begin working on it. Here are some of the key elements of self-awareness:

  • Understanding of how your thoughts affect you and others.
  • Realizing how your emotions affect you and the people around you.
  • Recognizing how your behaviors affect you and other people.
  • An ability to evaluate what you do well and what needs some strengthening.
  • Living consciously instead of unconsciously.
  • Knowing who you really are deep inside.
  • Following your true path in life.

There’s no mystery to self-awareness, it just means that you understand where your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors come from and that you’re able to move them all in a positive direction. What would you add to this list?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Have Great Listening Skills - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Have Great Listening Skills

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One of the most valuable skills self-aware leaders use to encourage effective communication is listening. Many leaders say they’re good listeners but most aren’t. It’s not because they don’t want to listen but rather because our workplaces and leadership styles aren’t designed to promote listening.

Here are some things you can do to be a leader who possess self-awareness and listens well:

1. Don’t talk.

2. Nod and prompt the other person to say more.

3. Ask open-ended questions that don’t have yes or no answers.

4. Lean forward and look interested.

5. Don’t think of the next thing you’re going to say.

6. Don’t think of how you’re going to rebut or contradict a point.

7. Don’t talk.

How many of these behaviors do you practice in the course of your workplace communication? Really listening means listening attentively for meaning. We all understand words but do we really understand what the other person is feeling? Pay attention to what the other person looks like when he or she talks, their demeanor or body language. Do they look upset, do they look confused? Ask open-ended questions that help the other person talk more rather than offering advice or opinions.

If you try some of these ideas you can learn a lot about your employees, co-workers and clients. I also encourage leaders to practice having conversations where they don’t talk at all and just nod. It’s remarkable what you can learn when you don’t talk.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be a good listener?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Attachment to Outcomes - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Attachment to Outcomes

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A lot of personal development experts talk about doing anything you want in life. You can move in the direction of your dreams at any time you want but many people lose motivation when they feel like they aren’t getting exactly what they wanted. The key to success is to gradually build your  self-awareness without focusing on a specific outcome. You never know what you’ll discover along the way.

Cheers,

Guy

10 Tips to Lead with Increased Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

10 Tips to Lead with Increased Self-Awareness

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership / , , ,

I consult for a wide range of leaders and organizations and I’m often surprised by the number of individuals who lack self-awareness and lead as if they’ve never considered someone else’s point of view. Some even get into the same types of arguments and interactions that they experienced in their families growing up, which doesn’t tend to lead to amazing results.

Have you ever worked with someone who tried to resolve every problem the same way and ended up fixing nothing and making everyone unhappy? It happens all the time and we call that type of leader a bad boss. Here are some practical things you can do to increase self-awareness and make your leadership skills even stronger:

  1. Figure out and define what you do well and do those things in the workplace.
  2. Identify areas where you could use some help and find people to help you.
  3. Ask your employees where you need some help and listen to their advice.
  4. Be willing to ask for help rather than pretend you know everything.
  5. Be open to information, ideas and perspectives other than your own.
  6. Be willing to change your behavior patterns to improve your workplace.
  7. Admit mistakes rather than covering stuff up to avoid losing face.
  8. Accept change and use it as a catalyst to do new and exciting things.
  9. Delegate and give people the opportunity to grow.
  10. Practice kind behaviors toward everyone at work.

If you practice all ten of these things you already understand what kind of workplace it creates: An environment where employees actually like you and are willing to do more and better work because they’re not miserable. Behaving positively in the workplace leads to better results for you and everyone else.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and lead more effectively?

Cheers,

Guy

Signs of Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Signs of Self-Awareness

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I’m often asked whether one can tell when someone has self-awareness. When you’re working on understanding yourself well you might be doing some of the following things:

  • Becoming the most effective you possible.
  • Functioning well in life.
  • Achieving what you want.
  • Finding happiness and balance.
  • Letting go of negative behaviors.
  • Being comfortable with who you are.
  • Resolving personal issues.
  • Enjoying your career.
  • Loving yourself and others.
  • Living consciously.
  • Being proactive rather than reactive.

Many people let life happen to them because they feel they can’t change or develop in any way. The good news is that anyone can move in any direction as long as he or she is willing to put in the effort to make things happen. You decide what happens in your life and whether you believe in using self-awareness as a tool to help you grow and succeed.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Managing Emotions - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Managing Emotions

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Need help managing emotions? You’re not alone. It can be difficult to deal with your own emotions, or other people’s, and it can deeply affect your and their quality of life. Thankfully, increasing self-awareness helps you manage emotions because, when you understand yourself and others better, you’re able to more effectively deal with what you and they are feeling.

Managing emotions begins with building up your self-awareness in order to increase your emotional intelligence. Here are some tips to help you get started:

  • There are four basic emotions: Happiness, Anger, Sadness, and Fear. Learn how to identify each of these when they are happening inside you. Ask yourself, “What is this feeling?” and pick one of the four. Keep practicing until you get good at recognizing what you’re feeling.
  • Once you know what emotion you’re experiencing, you can begin managing or dealing with it. To do this, take five deep breaths and give yourself five minutes to just feel the emotion. It may be difficult to do this at first but, over time, you’ll become more comfortable with any emotion that arises, even the unpleasant ones that you’ve been trying to avoid.
  • Realize that emotions are a normal part of life and you can use them to improve yourself. There are no bad emotions, each one is simply telling you what’s going on inside. When you stop seeing emotions as threats, you can act on them in a calm and balanced way. For example: If you’re scared about a new change in your life, take five deep breaths and five minutes to feel the emotion. Once you’ve done that calmly, take some time to plan a positive path forward. Think of one step you can take to improve your situation and, when you’re done with that one, try another.
  • Keep practicing. Nobody is great at managing their emotions the first time they try. It takes a lot of conscious effort to get to the point where you are able to feel your emotions and use them in a positive way. Don’t give up, if you keep working on experiencing your emotions, you’ll eventually become an expert at it.

Managing emotions is simply the act of recognizing what’s going on inside you, making sure not to react negatively, and then finding positive steps you can take to move your life forward. Anyone can do it, but it requires work and commitment.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and manage your emotions?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Definition of Emotional Intelligence - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and the Definition of Emotional Intelligence

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Self-awareness leads to emotional intelligence because people who understand themselves well are able to cope positively with whatever they’re feeling at a particular moment.

Here is an emotional intelligence definition I’ve developed over years of working with people: The ability to accurately identify and feel the emotions inside you and deal with or manage them in such a way that you live a happy, balanced life.

Emotional intelligence also refers to the ability to deal with other people’s emotions in a positive, supportive way. It means that you can handle what other people are feeling without falling apart or letting it affect you negatively.

When you are self-aware and emotionally healthy, you are able to deal with any emotion that arises inside you. You are able to name it (happiness, fear, anger, or sadness) and use it to become a more fully-functioning human being. You don’t run away from your emotions or live in fear that you can’t handle them.

The reason emotional intelligence is important is because it can make the difference between living a wonderful life and an endlessly difficult one. If you understand and are comfortable with what you feel deep inside, you’ll be able to live your life to its fullest.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy