The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Listen to Their Employees

March 3, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

There is frequently a large gap between how leaders think they are perceived and what’s really going on. I enjoy talking with employees about how their bosses function because that’s where the juicy stuff is. Employees have valuable insights on the strengths and areas for improvement of their supervisors and it can be very helpful to listen to their advice.

The opportunity that many leaders miss out on is using their employees’ ideas to improve their leadership abilities or how their workplaces function. This often happens because leaders simply don’t have open, two-way communication with their employees. When they open up the lines of communication they have access to the rich information and knowledge their employees possess. This, in turn, helps leaders understand where they stand with their employees and what adjustments might be beneficial. Ask yourself the following questions to asses the quality of your communication with your employees.

1. What percentage of time do you listen to your employees with no interruptions?

2. What is the last great idea you got by listening to an employee?

3. How is conflict dealt with in your organization? What part does effective communication play?

4. What would your employees say about the morale and motivation in your organization?

5. What advice would your employees give you about how to improve your organization?

6. In what ways do your employees demonstrate they are comfortable talking with you?

7. What do your employees say about you?

If you know the answers to these questions then you’re likely practicing effective communication with your employees. Chances are that you also know what they are saying about you. If you don’t have answers to these questions you can always make some adjustments to make sure you are connected to your employees.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and communicate more openly with your employees?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Improves Your Dating Life

March 3, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

People who lack self-awareness tend to have a lot of dating problems because they don’t know who they are or what they really want. My lovely clients tell me all kinds of stories about the bad boys and girls they date or the fact that they can’t find Mr. or Ms. Right. What I’ve found out over the years is that people date haphazardly. They have some vague notion of what they want but they are missing a few key elements that will help them date at a deeper, more rewarding level. Next time you are feeling troubled by your dating life think of the following ideas.

1. Am I happy with myself or am I looking for someone to fill that void?
2. Am I doing what I want with my life?
3. Do I date negative people because, deep down, I don’t like myself?
4. Do I know how to meet positive, supportive people to date?
5. Am I meeting people that make me feel good about myself?
6. Do I have the communication and interpersonal skills to date well?
7. Why do I date?

As you think of answers to these questions you will begin to understand yourself more and identify the patterns that have led you to relationship problems. If you keep repeating the same behaviors you will likely get the same results. It’s only when we begin to understand ourselves and treat ourselves well that we can begin letting great people into our lives.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Work on Healing Their Hurts

March 3, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

When you don’t heal your psychological hurts you live a life avoiding, accommodating, and tiptoeing around how you feel inside while never getting to the core of what’s really going on or developing self-awareness.

Unfortunately, people’s pain doesn’t only affect them, it spreads to others and creates all kinds of undesirable situations at home or at work. When people don’t heal their own hurts, they create discomfort in living rooms and board rooms and the consequences include:

Toxic families.
Broken marriages.
Damaged kids.
People who don’t like themselves or others.
Chronic conflict.
Unresolved issues.
Workplaces where people treat each other horribly.
Gossip.
Organizations that promote negative behaviors.
Ongoing retribution.
Punitive, controlling or capricious leadership.
Hurting others to cover for your hurts.
Insecurity and ego.
Lack of empathy.

Do any of these sound familiar? They happen all the time but, fortunately, you can interrupt these types of situations by increasing your self-awareness: Understand why you do things and how to move in a more positive direction.

The process of healing your hurts isn’t easy but it dramatically increases your quality of life and, by extension, the lives of everyone around you as well as well-being of the world. The way to get started is to acknowledge you have a hurt and then tend to it consciously and deliberately until it goes away.

What will you do to build self-awareness and start healing your hurts?

Cheers,

Guy

10 Behaviors of Someone with Strong Self-Awareness

March 2, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Here are ten behaviors of someone with strong self-awareness:

They do things consciously rather than just reacting to stuff.
They are in touch with their emotions and are comfortable feeling them.
They are comfortable with other people’s emotions.
They treat other people with kindness, empathy, and compassion.
They actively work on healing their past hurts.
They understand that there are other people in the world besides them.
They get along with others and enjoy positive relationships.
They know who they really are deep inside and live life accordingly.
They’re flexible and open to change.
They’re always growing.

People who possess self-awareness are able to expertly manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors so they can live happy, fulfilling lives. If you are self-aware, you know yourself deeply and live based on the real you. This authentic existence allows you to move past all the petty stuff and focus on enjoying your time on this planet and encouraging others to do the same.

Cheers,

Guy

Dealing with Emotions Is a Normal Part of Self-Awareness

March 2, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Dealing with your emotions is a normal part of self-awareness. It’s not the emotions that cause problems in life, it’s what you do with them. Focus on being in touch with your emotions and understanding that they aren’t good or bad, they’re just there to tell you that something is happening. Experience them fully and use them to move forward positively.

The more in tune you are with your emotions, the easier it will be to deal with the challenges and successes that come your way. We are taught in our culture that we have to hide our emotions or that there are only a few approved emotions but, in actuality, what you feel inside is just a signal that there is something that needs attention.

Every time you experience an emotion it’s an opportunity to move forward in a positive direction. If you’re happy, you can enjoy the moment, if you’re angry, sad, or fearful, you can use those emotions to learn and grow. The trick is not to try to avoid emotions, simply learn how to experience and manage them in a healthy manner.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and deal positively with your emotions?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are Good Listeners

March 1, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Most of us say that we’re good listeners, but self-aware people really are because they know how to get out of the way and simply listen to others without overreacting or getting defensive. Here are some examples of what good listeners do so you can see how you’re doing:

1. Don’t talk.
2. Nod and prompt the other person to say more.
3. Ask open ended questions that don’t have yes or no answers.
4. Lean forward and look interested.
5. Don’t talk.

How many of these do you do? Really listening means practicing self-awareness and listening for meaning. We all understand words but do we really understand what the other person is feeling. Pay attention to what the other person looks like when they talk. Do they look upset, do they look confused? Ask questions that help the other person talk more.

If you try some of these you might find you learn a lot about the other person. I also encourage people I coach to try conversations where they don’t talk at all and just nod. It’s amazing what we can learn when we don’t talk.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and listen more?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Requires Looking at Yourself

March 1, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

It’s nearly impossible to increase your self-awareness if you’re unwilling to take an honest look at yourself. A lot of people stumble on this point because they think that it means tearing themselves down or making themselves feel worse. In actuality, taking a look at yourself is the process of discovering who you are. It means finding out what you do well and what needs some attention.

If you’re afraid of examining who you really are, think of it this way: All you’re doing is looking at the things you do well and the things that you could improve to live an even happier life. Self-awareness is about understanding yourself clearly and becoming the best version of you possible.

It’s only through careful and thoughtful examination of your thoughts and behaviors that you’ll be able to decide where you want to go. Taking a look at yourself means you’re willing to work on the things that will make you more effective.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and continue to look at yourself?

Cheers,

Guy