The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-Aware People Know What Emotional Intelligence Is

February 23, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

What is emotional intelligence? You know that feeling you get inside when you encounter an emotion and you’re able to experience it fully without falling apart? That’s what it is. Self-aware people know what emotional intelligence is because they are in touch with what’s going on inside themselves and how it affects what they do each day.

You are a human being that has emotions. In an ideal world, you would deal with or manage your emotions so that they always lead in a positive direction, but that doesn’t always happen because you likely haven’t been taught what to do when you or others feel things that are scary or uncomfortable.

You were raised in a certain way and move in circles that tell you what role emotions should have on your life. The problem is that the information you get about how to feel things may be fatally flawed.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and effectively deal with or manage your emotions when they arise, and do the same for others. It means you’re an emotionally stable person who isn’t afraid of feeling things or interacting with people when they’re experiencing their own emotions.

As you continue your journey through life you’ll find that it will benefit you greatly to learn how to manage your emotions in a positive way. What will you do to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence?

Cheers,

Guy

5 Quick Ways Self-Aware Leaders Improve Their Workplaces

February 23, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

I help leaders improve their workplaces through thinking and behaving in positive ways, starting with increasing self-awareness. Sadly, I see a lot of practices that lead in the opposite direction. It’s amazing how much time and effort many leaders spend doing things that don’t work simply because they’ve never done it any other way. Most leaders mean well and want to create happy workplaces but lack self-awareness and just haven’t found out how to do it yet. Here are five quick ways to improve your workplace starting today.

1. Praise Employees

Start praising your employees today for the work they do well and they’ll be much more likely to repeat the behavior and want to do other things.

2. Start Listening

Listen to what your employees say without jumping in or offering advice and you’ll have access to richer and more complete information so you can make better decisions.

3. Don’t Micromanage

Step back and let your employees do their thing. Don’t offer unsolicited advice but be there for them if they ask for help.

4. Be Kind

Behave kindly, treat people well, appreciate everyone and do things that build employees up so they feel great about themselves.

5. Interview Your Employees

Find out what the talents and abilities are of each of your employees. Use this knowledge to work with them to find ways they can do work that fits what they enjoy doing.

Try these five ideas starting today and you will notice that your workplace will become a more enjoyable environment. There’s no magic to this process, you’re simply building a foundation based on valuing employees and encouraging them to do a great job.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and improve your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Are Okay with Making Mistakes

February 23, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-aware leaders are willing to make mistakes because they realize that every error is an opportunity to learn, grow, and continue to build self-awareness.

Perhaps you’ve encountered a leadership situation where you ask an employee about some task or project that didn’t go too well and he (or she) quickly shirks responsibility. This type of behavior is common in many workplaces because we design them that way. We create work environments where it’s not acceptable to make mistakes and where people will do anything to avoid the consequences.

Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some ideas to help leaders and employees increase self-awareness and accept responsibility for their actions:

Realize that people make mistakes.
Allow people to make mistakes without being punished or reprimanded.
Use mistakes as an opportunity for people to evaluate what they did correctly and what they would change in the future.
Encourage people to come up with their own solutions on how they would avoid repeating the same behaviors in the future.
Make it acceptable for people to admit that something went wrong without being mocked by leadership or co-workers.
Implement an authentic open-door policy where people can come in and talk with you about what’s going well and what needs attention without fear of retribution.
Avoid talking down to people or reprimanding them in front of others. Try having a calm conversation where you listen to what happened instead of clobbering the person publicly or privately.
Leadership sets a positive example by taking responsibility when things don’t go as planned and working hard to find positive solutions.

One of the major reasons people avoid responsibility is that they think they’ll look dumb or incompetent or that they’ll be punished in some way. If your company culture is set up to hurt or shame people then they’ll naturally avoid accepting responsibility for their actions. On the other hand, if you promote a philosophy where people are encouraged to learn from their mistakes, they’ll be more open to evaluating and improving their behavior. The underlying idea is to move away from a punitive culture to one where people are allowed to learn from their mistakes.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and help people, including you, accept responsibility for their actions?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Developing Emotional Intelligence

February 22, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-awareness is key to developing emotional intelligence because, when you understand yourself and others well, you are better able to deal with any internal or external emotion.

The process of developing emotional intelligence is not as mysterious or scary as you might have been led to believe. The vast majority of human beings have the capacity to feel emotions and use them to improve their lives.

Being able to effectively deal with and manage your emotions will help you feel happier and more balanced, solve problems, get along with others, and improve your quality of life.

Here are some ideas to help you develop your self-awareness and emotional intelligence:

Realize that emotions are a normal part of life and that even the uncomfortable ones can benefit you.
Understand that emotions aren’t positive or negative, they are all potentially beneficial.
Learn to identify and name the emotion you are feeling inside at any particular moment.
Do something that is positive with the emotion. For example: If you feel sad about something, you can use those feelings to learn and grow and take action in way that will be beneficial to you and others.
Keep practicing feeling your emotions and using them in a positive way until you feel comfortable with any emotion that arises.
Once you are comfortable with your own emotions, start applying these ideas to other people’s: Identify and empathize what what they’re feeling and be there for them to take positive action.

Developing emotional intelligence is the process of learning to identify and feel your emotions, use them positively, and relate to other people’s emotions as well. The idea is to be able to feel what’s going on inside you and use it to improve your life, and doing the same thing with other people’s emotions.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and emotional intelligence?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Welcome Change in the Workplace

February 21, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

I train leaders who are at a point where the old stuff they’ve done isn’t working as well as they’d like and they’re looking to build self-awareness and make some changes. There are many different ways of defining change in the workplace and it’s up to each person to decide what will work for him or her. For some people it means building stronger teams or improving communication, for others it is making slight management changes or developing a plan.

There’s no right or wrong when it comes to changing your workplace, the idea is just to take some kind of action. You call the shots and you get to choose what you want to do. Here are some ideas to help you figure out how to build self-awareness and increase your likelihood of success.

Start Small
It’s much easier to start with small actions rather than trying to take on too much and becoming frustrated.

Be Concrete
Think about what you want to accomplish and then take small actions toward that goal.

Be Consistent
Keep doing things on an ongoing basis and make that routine part of your workplace.

Have Patience
Change doesn’t happen overnight, it takes continuous action over time and allowing time for the changes to take hold.

Celebrate
Enjoy the ride as your move toward your goals. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done and do the same for others.

Try these ideas as a practical way to think about change at work. Modify them to fit your particular goals. The whole point to thinking about these concepts is that change is natural and within your grasp. You have the ability to consciously move in any direction you decide to when you choose to take action.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and welcome change in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Do You Have the Self-Awareness to Communicate Effectively?

February 21, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Countless leaders lack the self-awareness to communicate effectively, instead creating workplaces where people do everything but exchange information positively.

A dynamic I’ve seen repeatedly over the years in many workplaces is when something goes wrong or a difficult situation comes up and people stop communicating. This can take the form of not talking to someone because a problem has arisen or ignoring people when things get difficult. The results of this type of behavior are less than stellar when dealing with co-workers or clients.

When you decide not to communicate it leads to making the situation worse because you don’t deal with the issue at hand and both sides are left to make assumptions and create a one-sided view of what’s going on. It’s the opposite of effective communication because there is no exchange of information or ideas.

So what causes this behavior and what can you do about it? Many leaders and employees who lack self-awareness mean well but behave this way because they have not learned how to deal with difficult communication situations. They get uncomfortable or shut down when something is too hard to deal with. Others get angry or hurt and, since they don’t yet have the skills to open the lines of communication, the problem simply gets worse. Here are some tips to help you communicate even in the most challenging situations.

1. Realize that the situation is not personal.

2. Let go of any need to win, be right or save face.

3. Listen to what the other person has to say without rebutting or arguing.

4. Work with the other person to find a mutually acceptable solution.

5. Keep calm and look for ways to be accommodating and helpful.

6. Be as open and transparent as possible.

7. Work on your own emotional response to difficult situations.

8. Take an effective communication class.

9. Train all your employees so that communicate well.

10. Stop pretending that silence fixes things.

Try these ideas and you’ll get much better results than if you shut the communication down. Workplaces are plagued by the damage that comes from well-meaning people shutting down the lines of communication. What starts out as an attempt to avoid confrontation ends up creating one.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and communicate effectively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Know Employees Matter

February 20, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Leaders who lack self-awareness try all kinds of strategies to show their employees they matter. These efforts frequently consist of well-meaning but superficial attempts to demonstrate how much the organization really cares. Things like:

The company picnic.
Employee of the month (including photo on wall).
Mention in the newsletter.
Bonus of some kind.
Giveaway of some kind.
Group email extolling some accomplishment.

These types of efforts yield short-term morale boosting results for the person being recognized. What they overlook is building morale by celebrating the unique talents and abilities of everyone and doing it on a deeper level.

So how do self-aware leaders show employees they matter? It’s a revolutionary process called listening to them, which works like this:

Set up a time with the employee where you can talk with no interruptions and both of you are relaxed.
Ask the employee how he or she is doing. Also ask what’s going well in their job and what they would improve. Ask them for their ideas on how to improve things. Make sure to ask only open-ended questions, the kind that don’t result in a yes or no.
Listen to him or her without interrupting, getting defensive, opining, giving advice, fixing anything or reacting negatively.
Repeat the process at a time convenient for both of you.

This practical approach will help you show your employees they matter in less time and with far greater meaning than any recognition program. The reason for this is that people like for their bosses to show an interest in them as well as value their input and wisdom. They like to be recognized on a personal level and feel like they’re important. Listening also builds rapport and trust on an individual level.

So much of the way many organizations run is squeezing the most performance possible out of everyone and then throwing them one or two a recognition crumbs. Self-aware leaders understand that connecting with their employees directly and compassionately creates a happier, more effective workplace. It also helps leaders because they gain insights and perspectives they might not otherwise if they hadn’t listened.

Listening is a powerful tool to validate your employees and show them they matter. Try this approach sometime and make it a habit. You’ll learn things about your employees and organization that will help you lead better and get more done. It also gives you a remarkable opportunity to take action to build a more highly functioning and happier workplace.

An important added benefit: Your employees will like you more. What will you do to develop self-awareness, listen to your employees, and show them they really matter?

Cheers,

Guy