A Self-Awareness

Self-Aware People Praise Others - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Praise Others

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Self-aware people praise others because they’re comfortable with who they are and are able to spread happiness in the world rather than competing against everyone, feeling insecure, or working out their unfinished business on other people.

Praise can be hard to come by in our personal and professional lives. It’s as if there is some rule that praise is superfluous or unnecessary. Our inability to praise comes from being conditioned to correct and punish (some call it teaching) rather than celebrate and lift up. Perhaps you’ve had someone praise you and add some sort of negating or qualifying statement that minimizes its significance, as in:

  • You did a great job but make sure you do this next time.
  • You did so well on that project, much better than last time.
  • I’m so impressed with your work, too bad we can’t use it right now.
  • I like your idea but here’s how we’re going to do it.
  • You’re so smart, sometimes a little too much for your own good.

Individuals and leaders who lack self-awareness often see praise as an opportunity to make some kind of comment, correction or criticism rather than simply acknowledging that someone did something well. It’s not that they’re evil, they’re just used to praising people with caveats.

A major part of self-awareness is understanding that your actions not only affect you but also the people around you. People like to be praised. It builds them up. Think back in your own history and you’ll likely remember the times when someone genuinely praised you. Thankfully, you can praise people as often as you want, without the qualifiers.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and praise people more often?

Cheers,

Guy

15 Characteristics of Self-Aware, Happy People - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

15 Characteristics of Self-Aware, Happy People

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , , ,

Being happy isn’t some unattainable abstract concept, you can consciously work on it until it becomes an integral part of your personal development. The challenge for many people is to increase their self-awareness, look at the things that keep them from feeling joy, and replace them with new ways of thinking and behaving that help them move in a positive direction. Here are fifteen characteristics of self-aware, happy people:

  1. Absence of irrational or excessive fear.
  2. Integration of different parts of their minds.
  3. Ability to behave with empathy and compassion.
  4. Help themselves and others succeed.
  5. Balance and integration between personal and professional lives.
  6. Laugh often and enjoy the lighter side of life.
  7. Able to consider more than one perspective.
  8. Welcome change.
  9. Continually build self-awareness.
  10. Behave joyfully and consistently in all areas of their lives.
  11. Work every day on being happy.
  12. Understand that happiness doesn’t mean endless pleasure.
  13. Actively work on healing their own hurts.
  14. Find meaning inside themselves.
  15. Live a life that reflects who they really are deep inside.

If you already practice thinking and behaving in these ways you know the sense of deep balance and fulfillment they bring. If you don’t, then you have an amazing opportunity to begin working on whichever area needs attention in your life. Being happy isn’t about what you say or how you appear on the outside, it’s about your actual thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be genuinely happy?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Facts - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Facts

/ / Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , , , ,

Self-awareness and facts compliment each other because you can’t live authentically unless you’re willing to look at who you really are and what you actually do in life. People run into all kinds of trouble when they ignore what’s really happening inside and around them. It’s very difficult to pretend you’re someone you’re not and deny how you think and behave. Here are some signs that you may be ignoring the facts:

  • You think in ways that are based on fiction rather than verifiable reality.
  • You have an image of yourself that doesn’t match your actions.
  • When you try to fact check your thoughts and beliefs, you have difficulty finding empirical evidence to back them up.
  • Your facts are based on fears or hurts you possess deep inside.
  • Your facts cover up who you really are.
  • The image you show the world is not the real you.
  • You don’t do any work to become healthier or more balanced.
  • You have various areas of your inner life in conflict with each other.
  • You have to justify and rationalize your actions to yourself and others.
  • You feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled inside.

Just reading this list is exhausting and deflating because it’s the opposite of self-awareness, fulfillment, joy, peace, and enlightenment. Thankfully, you can take a candid look at yourself any time you choose and move in a more positive direction by examining the actual results of your thoughts and behaviors. What will you do to pay attention to the facts in your life?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Take Action to Succeed - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Take Action to Succeed

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , , ,

Self-awareness helps you take action to succeed because, when you understand yourself and others’ emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you are better able to grasp what you need to do to make your dreams come true.

The only thing that separates those who succeed from those who don’t is follow through. Many of us can envision doing something but we don’t take any steps to actually do it. I work with my clients to help them understand that they really can do anything they want. Think about the following steps next time you wish you could do something and use them to motivate yourself to do them:

1. What do you want to do? This is your goal.
2. What can you do today to move toward your goal? This gets you moving.
3. What will you do within one month to keep doing things.
4. Keep doing it.

It’s difficult to complete or succeed in any endeavor if you don’t work on building self-awareness and actually start doing things. Once you begin taking action the only thing you have to worry about it how to keep going. You will naturally run into roadblocks and challenges. You will learn a lot about yourself based on how you keep yourself motivated.

Once you realize that you don’t have to give up your hopes and dreams and that you can really do something about transforming your life, you can begin enjoying the fruits of your labor. What will you do to develop self-awareness and take action to succeed?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Stop Being a Jerk - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Stop Being a Jerk

/ / Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , , ,

How to stop being a jerk? Throw away what you’re currently doing and replace it with something more positive. People are jerks because they lack self-awareness and don’t know what else to do but, luckily, even the most difficult person can change their habits if they truly want to.

Here are some ideas to help you stop being a jerk:

  • Start with the idea that you’re not a bad person, just someone who got into a certain behavior pattern.
  • Realize that there is a way to do things that doesn’t involve discomfort, strife, and conflict.
  • Understand that you can actually get along with people.
  • Give yourself the gift of going to go see a professional therapist to work out the underlying issues (usually from your childhood) that have led to this point.
  • Keep working on yourself with the help of a therapist, explore changing the patterns you’ve established.
  • Learn new ways of recognizing, moderating, and applying your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
  • Give yourself a pat on the back for work well done.
  • Heave a sigh of relief that you can leave all the garbage behind.

Being a jerk is really about someone not knowing what else to do. Thankfully, we now have the knowledge to help people work through their issues and develop positive habits so they can enjoy life at home and at work.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and stop being a jerk?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Dealing with Co-Dependence - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Dealing with Co-Dependence

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , , , ,

Self-awareness is a great tool for dealing with co-dependence because, when you understand your and others’ emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re well-equipped to build and enjoy positive, healthy relationships.

Co-dependence takes a toll on relationships because it makes people behave in ways that focus more on others than themselves. A wife lives through trying to please her husband or children, a boyfriend stays with his girlfriend who has an addiction because taking care of her makes him feel valued.

Co-dependence arises when you ignore your own needs and focus your energy on someone else. Some of the signs of co-dependence are: A lack self-awareness or self-esteem, a need to feel in control in an out of control situation, insecurity, compensating for someone else’s issue, or a lack of clear boundaries. The common denominator is that you don’t control your own life because you’re living through someone else.

The good news is that you can redirect your energy to build yourself up instead of always worrying about others. Clearly defining who you are and what you need helps you break away from living through someone else. For example: The mom who says, “I live to make cookies for my kids,” is often not living for herself because she needs constant reinforcement from the outside to make her feel valued whereas the mom who actively works on finding out who she really is and pursuing her own dreams is more likely to find meaning inside herself.

You can feel better about yourself and stop living through others by doing things that increase your self-awareness and help you feel positive about who you are. The next time you feel obsessed by what someone else is doing, remember that you can’t live through someone else and your happiness doesn’t depend on them. Try doing something positive that builds you up and increases your self-awareness. Feel good about the person you are without outside validation. Once you learn how to take care of yourself you can build healthy, two-way relationships rather than co-dependent ones.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and reduce co-dependence in your life?

Cheers,

Guy

Living Courageously with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Living Courageously with Self-Awareness

/ / Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , ,

Living courageously requires building your self-awareness and doing things that are difficult and uncomfortable, such as:

  • Healing your inner hurts.
  • Daring to pursue your dreams.
  • Admitting mistakes.
  • Writing poetry.
  • Doing things to make the world a better place.
  • Advocating for people who lack power.
  • Standing up to injustice.
  • Showing the world the real you.
  • Feeling your feelings.
  • Letting your voice be heard.

Anyone can just let life happen to them. The challenge is to strive for deeper meaning and substance, an existence you can be proud of because you made a significant difference in some way, and not just for yourself. I enjoy connecting with people who value self-awareness because they are often the ones discussing the difficult topics that no one else wants to delve into.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and live courageously?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy