A Self-Awareness

Why Self-Awareness Matters - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Why Self-Awareness Matters

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You’ve probably met people, even very successful ones, who behave like they’re clueless or unbalanced in some part of their lives. Perhaps they don’t deal with others very positively, can’t get past some childhood trauma or have ideas about the world that aren’t grounded in reality. What they’re often missing is self-awareness, the ability to understand how their thoughts, emotions and behaviors affect them and others.

People avoid looking at themselves because they’re afraid of what they might find. It takes courage to admit that they’re not perfect, that they’ve made mistakes, that they’ve been wrong in the past or that there are areas that need improvement in their lives. Those who do decide to take a candid look at themselves soon discover that they can live deeply satisfying, meaningful, healthy and balanced lives.

Self-awareness matters because you’re worth it. You deserve to live a fully conscious life that reflects the real you rather than doing all the other garbage that makes you (and the people around you) unhappy. When you understand who you are and why you think and behave the way you do, you get to live an authentic life being yourself rather than trying to be someone you’re not or relying on outside sources for your happiness.

Increasing your self-awareness gives you the opportunity to live the life you were meant to live without restrictions. It’s a journey that begins with your willingness to look at yourself honestly and become the most healthy, balanced you possible. How will you start building your self-awareness?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are Compassionate - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Are Compassionate

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When you practice compassion as part of your  self-awareness journey you’ll find that you’re able to care for yourself and others. Compassion is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and treat them with care and kindness. In doing so you create positive energy in your life and in the world as well.

Compassionate human beings understand that they are not the only people in the world, that other individuals and groups have a different and valid experience. When you practice compassion, you are able to put your own experience and needs aside, really empathize with someone else, and recognize when they need help.

As you build your self-awareness, you will find that you become more comfortable and better able to manage your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, which will enable you to connect with others on a more meaningful level. The healthier you are, the more you are in a position to help others.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and practice compassion?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Do More Than Fixing Problems - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Do More Than Fixing Problems

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I have facilitated numerous workshops and consulted with myriad people who lack self-awareness and a common theme that comes up is the idea of fixing things. From an early age, we are taught to confront any problem with a fix. If someone says something to us in our personal or professional life we immediately jump and look for ways to fix it. While I like resolving issues, it’s also important to give some importance to just building self-awareness and working on things without fixing them. Next time someone comes to you with a problem, consider the following possibilities:

1. Listen without interrupting or offering advice.
2. Give yourself permission not to fix anything.
3. Let the person talk to you freely and give them the time to do so.
4. Even if you disagree, don’t rebut or become defensive.
5. Learn to recognize the things that trigger your defensiveness or anger.
6. Offer to listen to the person again.
7. Always remain calm and caring.

The act of listening changes the whole dynamic in relationships. Suddenly we can learn what other people really think and simply bond with them. This approach is different because it requires that, instead of talking or jumping in, we just let someone else tell us about the things they find meaningful. This approach greatly reduces hurt feelings and anger because it requires us to react calmly to anything another person says.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and stop fixing things?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Improves Your Dating Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Improves Your Dating Life

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People who lack self-awareness tend to have a lot of dating problems because they don’t know who they are or what they really want. My lovely clients tell me all kinds of stories about the bad boys and girls they date or the fact that they can’t find Mr. or Ms. Right. What I’ve found out over the years is that people date haphazardly. They have some vague notion of what they want but they are missing a few key elements that will help them date at a deeper, more rewarding level. Next time you are feeling troubled by your dating life think of the following ideas.

1. Am I happy with myself or am I looking for someone to fill that void?
2. Am I doing what I want with my life?
3. Do I date negative people because, deep down, I don’t like myself?
4. Do I know how to meet positive, supportive people to date?
5. Am I meeting people that make me feel good about myself?
6. Do I have the communication and interpersonal skills to date well?
7. Why do I date?

As you think of answers to these questions you will begin to understand yourself more and identify the patterns that have led you to relationship problems. If you keep repeating the same behaviors you will likely get the same results. It’s only when we begin to understand ourselves and treat ourselves well that we can begin letting great people into our lives.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Work on Healing Their Hurts - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Work on Healing Their Hurts

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When you don’t heal your psychological hurts you live a life avoiding, accommodating, and tiptoeing around how you feel inside while never getting to the core of what’s really going on or developing self-awareness.

Unfortunately, people’s pain doesn’t only affect them, it spreads to others and creates all kinds of undesirable situations at home or at work. When people don’t heal their own hurts, they create discomfort in living rooms and board rooms and the consequences include:

  • Toxic families.
  • Broken marriages.
  • Damaged kids.
  • People who don’t like themselves or others.
  • Chronic conflict.
  • Unresolved issues.
  • Workplaces where people treat each other horribly.
  • Gossip.
  • Organizations that promote negative behaviors.
  • Ongoing retribution.
  • Punitive, controlling or capricious leadership.
  • Hurting others to cover for your hurts.
  • Insecurity and ego.
  • Lack of empathy.

Do any of these sound familiar? They happen all the time but, fortunately, you can interrupt these types of situations by increasing your self-awareness: Understand why you do things and how to move in a more positive direction.

The process of healing your hurts isn’t easy but it dramatically increases your quality of life and, by extension, the lives of everyone around you as well as well-being of the world. The way to get started is to acknowledge you have a hurt and then tend to it consciously and deliberately until it goes away.

What will you do to build self-awareness and start healing your hurts?

Cheers,

Guy

Dealing with Emotions Is a Normal Part of Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Dealing with Emotions Is a Normal Part of Self-Awareness

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Dealing with your emotions is a normal part of self-awareness. It’s not the emotions that cause problems in life, it’s what you do with them. Focus on being in touch with your emotions and understanding that they aren’t good or bad, they’re just there to tell you that something is happening. Experience them fully and use them to move forward positively.

The more in tune you are with your emotions, the easier it will be to deal with the challenges and successes that come your way. We are taught in our culture that we have to hide our emotions or that there are only a few approved emotions but, in actuality, what you feel inside is just a signal that there is something that needs attention.

Every time you experience an emotion it’s an opportunity to move forward in a positive direction. If you’re happy, you can enjoy the moment, if you’re angry, sad, or fearful, you can use those emotions to learn and grow. The trick is not to try to avoid emotions, simply learn how to experience and manage them in a healthy manner.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and deal positively with your emotions?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are Good Listeners - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Are Good Listeners

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Most of us say that we’re good listeners, but self-aware people really are because they know how to get out of the way and simply listen to others without overreacting or getting defensive. Here are some examples of what good listeners do so you can see how you’re doing:

1. Don’t talk.
2. Nod and prompt the other person to say more.
3. Ask open ended questions that don’t have yes or no answers.
4. Lean forward and look interested.
5. Don’t talk.

How many of these do you do? Really listening means practicing self-awareness and listening for meaning. We all understand words but do we really understand what the other person is feeling. Pay attention to what the other person looks like when they talk. Do they look upset, do they look confused? Ask questions that help the other person talk more.

If you try some of these you might find you learn a lot about the other person. I also encourage people I coach to try conversations where they don’t talk at all and just nod. It’s amazing what we can learn when we don’t talk.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and listen more?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy