A Self-Awareness

Leaders who lack self-awareness are stingy with praise because they don’t realize how important it is to help others feel great about themselves and to build people up instead of always correcting or tearing them down.

I consult with many different leaders and organizations and I get a feel for how their workplaces run by observing how they interact in the training we do together. I regularly notice that when the topic of praise (or praising employees) comes up or when we discuss praising people on the job one or more people will raise an objection. It usually goes something like this:

• You have to be careful about praising too much.
• It’s counter-productive to praise all the time.
• It’s phony to praise people a lot.
• Praise makes people soft.
• Praise makes people achieve less.
• How do you praise everyone when only one person deserves praise?
• Why would I praise bad behavior?
• I don’t believe you.
• That doesn’t work.

The remarkable thing about these types of statement or questions is how much they illustrate our lack of self-awareness and related discomfort about praising employees. Perhaps it comes from our families; where we had to prove our worth or rarely (if ever) heard a supportive word. It could arise from never having worked in an organization where praise was part of the culture or leadership praised often. These thought patterns become entrenched in us to the point where we’ll argue about whether praise is positive and behave accordingly.

What I’ve come to realize is that people who lack self-awareness are suspicious of praise primarily because they have not experienced it in action. Praise builds workplaces where employees feel valued. It is also one of the best tools to increase the likelihood that employees will repeat a desired behavior and find other ways to contribute. People like it when someone appreciates the work they’re doing or the ideas they bring to the table.

Leaders who lack self-awareness don’t praise much, if at all, and tend to create workplaces where people are starving for recognition, feel unappreciated and where productivity, procedures and rules take precedence over people. Praise offers a great opportunity to create a workplace that celebrates instead of castigates. Here are some guidelines for praising people:

• Praise positive behaviors.
• Be genuine and generous.
• Praise specific things that people are doing well.
• Distribute praise evenly, find something positive each person is doing.
• Make the praise about the other person, keep it brief and focused on them.
• Keep praising until it becomes the new culture.

The trap many leaders get caught in is thinking that praise is stroking people for bad work when it’s actually about celebrating good work. We’ve been conditioned into thinking that criticism and directives are the only ways to motivate people when a simple, “I appreciate the great job you did,” does much more for building morale and motivation.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and praise people more in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Leaders who aren’t self-aware often tolerate conflict as a normal part of workplace interactions. This leads to workplaces where everyone is simply trying to survive and there isn’t much team building or cohesion. Many leaders and employees view chronic, habitual conflict as normal. People are allowed to cut each other down, make hurtful comments or threaten each other (overtly or more subtly) while leaders look on and admire their energy and camaraderie.

Traditionally, many of our workplaces have been rough and tumble zones where only the supposedly fittest survive. This dynamic tends to sap productivity and morale over time because only a few people thrive and the remainder get demoralized. Our predecessors might have been unable to envision a workplace that didn’t encourage conflict but we can.

We have the ability to create kinder workplaces where leaders value self-awareness and help colleagues and employees work well together and build positive work environments. We can fight less and face our challenges united. In the past, we let conflict fester and permeate our workplaces but now we have tools to actually fix things.

Some practical elements you can think about when workplace conflict arises include:

• What is the problem really about?

• Do you know what each employee thinks about the problem?

• Have you all worked together to come up with possible solutions?

• Is everyone’s voice listened to and given equal weight?

• Does everyone know how to listen to other points of view?

• Can people deal with conflict without escalating?

• Is conflict an opportunity for change in your workplace?

• How are your communication skills?

• Do you have a consistent system for resolving conflict?

• Do you ask for help from neutral, uninvolved third parties?

Team building and conflict resolution in the workplace depend on you as a leader. You decide whether your workplace advances without direction or follows a more productive path. Consider the following ideas for your workplace:

• Develop a clear, concise conflict resolution strategy that is taught and followed at all levels.

• Build productive, two-way communication skills by teaching your employees how to communicate effectively.

• Highlight the importance of listening skills and teach everyone how to listen to each other.

• Practice team building by giving everyone the framework and tools to collaborate.

• Set a positive example by behaving in ways that support team building, conflict resolution and collaboration.

These concepts help leaders and organizations resolve conflicts more effectively and build happier organizations. The only catch is that they take commitment but, those who take the plunge and build up these core skills, enjoy long-term health and success.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and help your teams reduce conflict?

Cheers,

Guy