A Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness and Getting Help to Fix Your Relationship Problems - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Getting Help to Fix Your Relationship Problems

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Self-awareness helps you resolve your relationship problems because, when you understand how you and other people’s emotions, thoughts, and actions affect the situation at hand, you’re actually able to do something about it.

Many people who have relationship problems think that they can fix them themselves or get help from friends and family. The difficulty with this approach is that not everyone is qualified to help us find the answers we want. They may mean well and love us very much but they may not have a clue on how to actually fix a problem. Ask yourself the following questions next time you are looking for someone to help you with your relationship problems:

  • Does this person have a track record of expert relationship problem solving?
  • Does this person listen unconditionally without giving advice?
  • Does this person help you come up with your own answers?
  • Is this person too close to the situation or not objective enough?
  • Does the person have anything to gain from a specific outcome?
  • Has this person had any training in fixing relationships?
  • Does this person use self-awareness as a tool to improve relationships?

These basic questions highlight the importance of getting help that will not only make you feel better or supported but, additionally, to find help that helps you create the results you want. The advice you get from others may be kind and supportive but does the problem go away?

Clients often tell me that it is difficult to seek outside help. We are often taught that we need to fix things ourselves or should not trust anyone outside of friends and family. The good news is that a supportive consultant has the skills and experience to help you move in any direction you choose.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and fix your relationship problems?

Cheers,

Guy

Do You Limit Your Self-Awareness? - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Do You Limit Your Self-Awareness?

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A lot of people limit their self-awareness because they’re afraid of looking at their hurts and admitting that they might benefit from making some changes. Here are some examples of thoughts and actions that hinder self-awareness:

  • The belief that you don’t have to work on yourself.
  • Thinking that you’re just fine as is, even when everything is crumbling around you.
  • Saying you don’t have time for all that touchy-feely stuff.
  • Acting like you know everything.
  • Living superficially.
  • Refusing to examine the things you might want to improve so you can become a more effective version of you.
  • Trying to control things so people won’t find out how insecure you are.
  • Not wanting to go to therapy.
  • Living life reactively instead of proactively.
  • Doing the same thing you’ve always done.
  • The belief that life is hard and you can’t do anything to change it.
  • Fear of change.

A lot of people stay stuck because they refuse to take an honest look at themselves and learn about what would help them move forward. They literally live their entire lives being miserable. The good news is that you don’t have to be unhappy, just work on figuring out who you are and you’ll be on your way to enjoying a self-aware life.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means Being Yourself - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Means Being Yourself

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There are a lot of miserable people walking around because they’re doing what their families tell them to do, what their friends want them to do, or what some external being compels them to do rather than focusing on building self-awareness and living authentically.

The true key to happiness is to be yourself and live as the real you. Over many years of consulting for individuals who value developing self-awareness, I’ve noticed that people cause themselves all kinds of unnecessary grief and tension because they don’t live in a way that reflects who they really are inside.

When you’re the authentic you it opens all kinds of doors, you meet people who understand where you’re coming from and what you’re doing. You project positive energy when you’re following your passion. Since I let go of being someone I wasn’t and became a poet, I feel better about myself and connect with people who value what I do. I really like it when people like the real me instead of some artificial persona.

What do you do to be yourself?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are Kind, Sensitive, and Creative - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Are Kind, Sensitive, and Creative

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I love connecting with kind, sensitive, creative people who value self-awareness because they tend to spread positive vibes that help build a happier, more compassionate and enlightened world.

So, why would anyone want to be this type of person? Because it leads to greater joy and fulfillment. Kindness means behaving in a way that demonstrates empathy and care for something or someone else. It’s a peaceful state of being that creates harmony. Sensitivity means dealing positively with your own feelings and being attuned to others’ emotions as well. Creativity means that you have the courage to think differently and challenge conventions. When you mix these three qualities you have a person who possesses self-awareness and is able to live a deeply satisfying, positive life and have a beneficial impact on his or her environment.

Imagine a world where people treat each other with kindness, are sensitive to their own and each other’s feelings, and create beautiful things. It’s a very different state of being than what we’ve been led to believe is the way things should be (competitions, strife, jealousy, brokenness). Having self-awareness means that you’re able to rise above pettiness and self-centeredness and behave in ways that benefit the greater good.

What will you do to practice self-awareness and be a kind, sensitive, creative person?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Seeing the Big Picture - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Seeing the Big Picture

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A lot of people think that working on their self-awareness is a selfish pursuit but they may be missing the point. When you deeply understand why you think or act the way you do, you move from being someone who lives unconsciously to someone who understands the implications surrounding their thoughts and behaviors. For example: If you get mad at friends or family all the time, you’re behaving in a way that is specific and limited, whereas if you take the time to think about what you’re doing and how you can move in a positive direction, you increase your ability to see things from a wider perspective.

You can choose to live life based only on what you think, feel and do in the moment but you’ll be much happier and fulfilled if you pause and think about all the other options available to you. What will you do to use your self-awareness to see the big picture?

Take care

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps Get Rid of Bigotry - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps Get Rid of Bigotry

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Bigotry is about as far away from self-awareness as you can get. It means living a closed, scared, reactive life that doesn’t do anybody any good, including the person being a bigot. I thought I’d write on this difficult subject because I really care about people being able to love themselves and others. There is a lot of hurt in our world and there are countless valuable individuals who are literally living in fear, pain, and rage instead of enjoying their time on this earth. I hope this article will help someone out there feel better about himself or herself and decide to live a life of joy. To start off, here are fifteen ways to tell you’re a bigot:

  1. You can’t stand when someone disagrees with your beliefs or views.
  2. You get angry or violent toward people who aren’t like you.
  3. You live constantly angry at other people.
  4. You have difficulty being vulnerable around other people and are trying to keep them from seeing the real you and hurting you.
  5. You hate people who are different from you.
  6. You prejudge people before you get to know them.
  7. You hate people because of any number of things including how they look, talk, dress, worship (or not), or any other number of reasons.
  8. Only your opinions matter.
  9. You have difficulty accepting everyone.
  10. You feel powerless inside and act super tough to cover for it, or try to take away other people’s power.
  11. You feel threatened by others.
  12. You have seen people give you a scared look when you tell them about your views.
  13. You believe in striking first before they strike at you.
  14. Conflict seems to find you.
  15. You don’t ever really feel happy inside, even if you say you are.

The reason this subject means so much to me is that I’ve personally seen so many wonderful people give their lives away to hate and toxicity. They go from being human beings full of potential to angry creatures who hurt others. The good news about bigotry is that it’s not a lifelong commitment, you can choose to move in a more positive direction at any time by doing things like:

  • Building self-awareness by understanding where your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors come.
  • Healing the hurts from your childhood.
  • Living a life of love and compassion.
  • Getting to know as many different kinds of people as possible and enjoying everything they have to offer.
  • Realizing how great life is when you’re free of fear or hate.
  • Understanding how much you matter and how important it is for you to find what makes you happy deep inside instead of living a life where you’re constantly getting angry at outside things.
  • Having the courage to go see a therapist to help you along the way.
  • Surrounding yourself with people who are soft, kind, compassionate, caring, accepting, and who will value the new you.
  • Taking action to do nice things for others every day.
  • Resolving to help build a better world for everyone.
  • Doing the things you really love in life.
  • Discovering the real you and celebrating yourself.

Look at both these lists and honestly ask yourself which one might feel better. In my experience, its the path of love and kindness that always leads to better results. It will take a lot of work to shift your old emotions, thoughts, and behaviors but the reward is that you’ll get to live a life of self-awareness, peace, and happiness. I wish you all the best on your journey, I know you can do it.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and move past bigotry?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Reducing Family Conflict - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Reducing Family Conflict

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Self-awareness can help reduce family conflict because, when people understand themselves well, they are better able to work things out with others.

Conflict can be especially painful when it involves family. My clients often ask me what to do about a family member who they can’t get along with. It can be tricky to deal with family because there are often rules we are expected to follow in our families.

It’s common to feel a sense of duty toward family but that doesn’t give people a free pass to hurt each other. Ideally we treat everyone with the same dignity and respect whether they are family or not.

Here are a few ideas to help you build self-awareness and set boundaries with your family:

1. Respect your needs and beliefs first.
2. Inform your family about what you want. Set limits and boundaries.
3. Inform your family you are available to work things out.
4. Work with them to resolve the conflict.
5. Set the example for how you want to be treated.
6. Take some time away if things get heated.
7. Expect resistance.

You are your own unique person regardless of what your family says or does. It’s ultimately healthiest to pay attention to the things that bring you joy and happiness than to try to mold yourself into someone else’s vision. Trust yourself and teach your family who you are. Do it with kindness and patience and eventually they will understand who you are.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and reduce conflict in your family?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy