A Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness Helps Get Rid of Bigotry - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps Get Rid of Bigotry

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Bigotry is about as far away from self-awareness as you can get. It means living a closed, scared, reactive life that doesn’t do anybody any good, including the person being a bigot. I thought I’d write on this difficult subject because I really care about people being able to love themselves and others. There is a lot of hurt in our world and there are countless valuable individuals who are literally living in fear, pain, and rage instead of enjoying their time on this earth. I hope this article will help someone out there feel better about himself or herself and decide to live a life of joy. To start off, here are fifteen ways to tell you’re a bigot:

  1. You can’t stand when someone disagrees with your beliefs or views.
  2. You get angry or violent toward people who aren’t like you.
  3. You live constantly angry at other people.
  4. You have difficulty being vulnerable around other people and are trying to keep them from seeing the real you and hurting you.
  5. You hate people who are different from you.
  6. You prejudge people before you get to know them.
  7. You hate people because of any number of things including how they look, talk, dress, worship (or not), or any other number of reasons.
  8. Only your opinions matter.
  9. You have difficulty accepting everyone.
  10. You feel powerless inside and act super tough to cover for it, or try to take away other people’s power.
  11. You feel threatened by others.
  12. You have seen people give you a scared look when you tell them about your views.
  13. You believe in striking first before they strike at you.
  14. Conflict seems to find you.
  15. You don’t ever really feel happy inside, even if you say you are.

The reason this subject means so much to me is that I’ve personally seen so many wonderful people give their lives away to hate and toxicity. They go from being human beings full of potential to angry creatures who hurt others. The good news about bigotry is that it’s not a lifelong commitment, you can choose to move in a more positive direction at any time by doing things like:

  • Building self-awareness by understanding where your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors come.
  • Healing the hurts from your childhood.
  • Living a life of love and compassion.
  • Getting to know as many different kinds of people as possible and enjoying everything they have to offer.
  • Realizing how great life is when you’re free of fear or hate.
  • Understanding how much you matter and how important it is for you to find what makes you happy deep inside instead of living a life where you’re constantly getting angry at outside things.
  • Having the courage to go see a therapist to help you along the way.
  • Surrounding yourself with people who are soft, kind, compassionate, caring, accepting, and who will value the new you.
  • Taking action to do nice things for others every day.
  • Resolving to help build a better world for everyone.
  • Doing the things you really love in life.
  • Discovering the real you and celebrating yourself.

Look at both these lists and honestly ask yourself which one might feel better. In my experience, its the path of love and kindness that always leads to better results. It will take a lot of work to shift your old emotions, thoughts, and behaviors but the reward is that you’ll get to live a life of self-awareness, peace, and happiness. I wish you all the best on your journey, I know you can do it.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and move past bigotry?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Reducing Family Conflict - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Reducing Family Conflict

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , ,

Self-awareness can help reduce family conflict because, when people understand themselves well, they are better able to work things out with others.

Conflict can be especially painful when it involves family. My clients often ask me what to do about a family member who they can’t get along with. It can be tricky to deal with family because there are often rules we are expected to follow in our families.

It’s common to feel a sense of duty toward family but that doesn’t give people a free pass to hurt each other. Ideally we treat everyone with the same dignity and respect whether they are family or not.

Here are a few ideas to help you build self-awareness and set boundaries with your family:

1. Respect your needs and beliefs first.
2. Inform your family about what you want. Set limits and boundaries.
3. Inform your family you are available to work things out.
4. Work with them to resolve the conflict.
5. Set the example for how you want to be treated.
6. Take some time away if things get heated.
7. Expect resistance.

You are your own unique person regardless of what your family says or does. It’s ultimately healthiest to pay attention to the things that bring you joy and happiness than to try to mold yourself into someone else’s vision. Trust yourself and teach your family who you are. Do it with kindness and patience and eventually they will understand who you are.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and reduce conflict in your family?

Cheers,

Guy

12 Obstacles to Building Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

12 Obstacles to Building Self-Awareness

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Many intelligent and accomplished people don’t realize that self-awareness can help them enjoy deeply fulfilling and meaningful lives. They think that self-awareness is some touchy-feely nuisance that doesn’t yield tangible results. Self-awareness is a key part of being happy and living a fulfilling life because, when you understand yourself well, you experience the world as the real you rather than living unconsciously or based on what others expect you to do. Here are twelve obstacles to building self-awareness:

  • Fear of unpleasant emotions.
  • Fear of opening a pandora’s box of memories.
  • It’s easier to live unconsciously.
  • It’s easier to live through other people than to take the risks involved with living a genuine life.
  • It’s easier to give the responsibility for your happiness or success to someone or something else.
  • Self-awareness takes a lot of work.
  • It’s difficult to break habits.
  • People are comfortable doing what they’ve always done, even if it’s not working.
  • Self-awareness isn’t tangible like building something or making money.
  • People don’t see the value in getting to know themselves.
  • People feel uncomfortable focusing on themselves.
  • Fear of trying something new.

Building self-awareness isn’t some abstract concept that only works in books. When you get to know yourself better, you live a happier life because you understand understand why you do the things you do. The ultimate goal of self-awareness is to know yourself so well that you’re comfortable living as the real you.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Fixing a Family Problem - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Fixing a Family Problem

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , ,

Self-awareness can help you fix a family problem because, when you understand how everyone’s emotions, thoughts, and actions, affect each other, then you’re able to work on solutions to even the most difficult situations.

For much of history we have viewed the family as a unit that helped us
with survival. We depended on each other because there was strength and
security in numbers. Recent developments in society and technology have
allowed us to experience the family differently than we used to. We now
are able to work on making our families as healthy as possible—a
concept that our ancestors never even contemplated.

With this new ability to improve the health of our families comes a great
opportunity to enjoy our family relationships like never before. We
also get to face challenges in new ways. In the past we let conflict
fester and continue throughout our lives. We didn’t have the tools to
actually fix things. Now we do and consulting gives families some tools
they can use to increase the happiness in their homes.

Some basic things you can think about when a family problem arises include:

  • What is the problem really about?
  • Do you know what each family member thinks about the problem?
  • Have you all worked together to come up with possible solutions?
  • Is everyone’s voice listened to and given equal weight?
  • Does everyone know how to listen to other points of view?
  • Can people deal with conflict without escalating?
  • Is conflict an opportunity for change in your family?
  • How are your communication skills?
  • Do you have a consistent system for resolving problems in the family?
  • Do you ask for neutral help or advice from uninvolved third parties?

Resolving problems in the family has a lot to do with the skills and experiences we bring to the table. A lot of us repeat the patterns we saw at home but we now have the benefit of new strategies to actually resolve
problems rather than perpetuating them. Consider some of the following
ideas to help your family increase self-awareness and move forward positively:

  • Develop a conflict resolution strategy.
  • Develop communication skills.
  • Develop listening skills.
  • Work together.

It’s amazing how those four basic elements can help families resolve
problems. Most of our families are not set up to fix problems, just
make them go away temporarily. I enjoy consulting for parents to create
new ways of actually fixing problems in the family, so everyone involved can feel included and valued.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and fix the problems in your family?

Cheers,

Guy

Achieve Your Dreams with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Achieve Your Dreams with Self-Awareness

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , ,

You can achieve your dreams with self-awareness because, when you understand and can manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re able to consciously move in whatever direction you want to.

The mistake we often make is that we live our whole lives putting our dreams on the back burner. There are several reasons this happens including fear, paying the bills, lack of planning and not believing that our dreams will come true.

People often think that thinking of their dreams is too unrealistic. The truth is that our lives tend to follow the patterns that we establish. If we think something cannot be achieved that will tend to happen.

As yourself this: What can I do today to start living my dreams? If you start believing and acting on the assumption that you can actually achieve your dreams you will begin to structure you life to make it happen.

The main message is don’t give up, there is always time to start working on what you want in life. What will you do to develop self-awareness and make your dreams a reality?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Critical Thinking - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Critical Thinking

/ / Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

If you’re actively working on increasing your self-awareness then you’re familiar with critical thinking, the process by which you determine whether something is true or false. When you’re able to use facts to determine whether something is valid or not, you’re better equipped to deal with any situation that comes your way and live a happier life. Let’s look at the difference between an individual who doesn’t think critically and one who does:

Person 1

Someone says something to this person that scares her. She can’t figure out what to do and doesn’t know how to assess what’s true or false about what she’s being told. Because she doesn’t understand the topic at hand, she draws conclusions based on visceral feelings, suppositions, or hunches rather than facts. Unable to ascertain what’s really going on, she remains uninformed and fearful.

Person 2

This person has been told the same thing, initially feels scared, but has the presence of mind to evaluate the topic. She does some research to determine what is true or false about what she’s been told based on demonstrable and verifiable facts. She is able to view the issue in context and asses its likely impact on her life. She reacts appropriately based on the information she’s collected.

You’ll be much more likely to live a meaningful and balanced life if you take the time to determine what’s actually true or false about any given topic or situation. Some people leave things to emotion, chance, or superstition; you can choose to take a dispassionate look at the issue and deal with it based on demonstrable facts. How will you use your critical thinking skills?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Be Genuinely Happy - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Be Genuinely Happy

/ / Self-Awareness / , , ,

Are you really happy or just pretending? Over many years of providing self-awareness consulting to individuals and groups, I’ve noticed that the less happy people are, the more vociferously they will claim to be happy. It’s as if they feel they have to put up a brave front so that nobody will know how much they’re really hurting inside.

You can’t be genuinely happy in life if you lack self-awareness and walk around with tons of unresolved or conflicting issues rattling around in your head. I’ve met many a “happy” person who is so quick to anger that it’s frightening. When you’re truly self-aware and content, you feel, think and behave in ways that are consistent with happiness, for example:

  • You treat others well.
  • You’re kind to people without expecting anything in return.
  • You don’t feel like you have to beat anyone.
  • You help others succeed.
  • You think and behave with empathy.
  • The various parts of your psyche aren’t fighting each other.
  • You don’t suppress your emotions.
  • You feel a sense of well-being and balance inside.
  • You smile and laugh genuinely and often.
  • You live life as the real you.

True happiness comes from a deep sense of peace and well-being inside you. It means that you’ve built up your self-awareness, worked on your hurts, and healed yourself to the point where pain doesn’t rule your life or you’re not trying to ignore it.

What will you do to to increase self-awareness and be genuinely happy?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy