A Self-Awareness

12 Obstacles to Building Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

12 Obstacles to Building Self-Awareness

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Many intelligent and accomplished people don’t realize that self-awareness can help them enjoy deeply fulfilling and meaningful lives. They think that self-awareness is some touchy-feely nuisance that doesn’t yield tangible results. Self-awareness is a key part of being happy and living a fulfilling life because, when you understand yourself well, you experience the world as the real you rather than living unconsciously or based on what others expect you to do. Here are twelve obstacles to building self-awareness:

  • Fear of unpleasant emotions.
  • Fear of opening a pandora’s box of memories.
  • It’s easier to live unconsciously.
  • It’s easier to live through other people than to take the risks involved with living a genuine life.
  • It’s easier to give the responsibility for your happiness or success to someone or something else.
  • Self-awareness takes a lot of work.
  • It’s difficult to break habits.
  • People are comfortable doing what they’ve always done, even if it’s not working.
  • Self-awareness isn’t tangible like building something or making money.
  • People don’t see the value in getting to know themselves.
  • People feel uncomfortable focusing on themselves.
  • Fear of trying something new.

Building self-awareness isn’t some abstract concept that only works in books. When you get to know yourself better, you live a happier life because you understand understand why you do the things you do. The ultimate goal of self-awareness is to know yourself so well that you’re comfortable living as the real you.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Fixing a Family Problem - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Fixing a Family Problem

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Self-awareness can help you fix a family problem because, when you understand how everyone’s emotions, thoughts, and actions, affect each other, then you’re able to work on solutions to even the most difficult situations.

For much of history we have viewed the family as a unit that helped us
with survival. We depended on each other because there was strength and
security in numbers. Recent developments in society and technology have
allowed us to experience the family differently than we used to. We now
are able to work on making our families as healthy as possible—a
concept that our ancestors never even contemplated.

With this new ability to improve the health of our families comes a great
opportunity to enjoy our family relationships like never before. We
also get to face challenges in new ways. In the past we let conflict
fester and continue throughout our lives. We didn’t have the tools to
actually fix things. Now we do and consulting gives families some tools
they can use to increase the happiness in their homes.

Some basic things you can think about when a family problem arises include:

  • What is the problem really about?
  • Do you know what each family member thinks about the problem?
  • Have you all worked together to come up with possible solutions?
  • Is everyone’s voice listened to and given equal weight?
  • Does everyone know how to listen to other points of view?
  • Can people deal with conflict without escalating?
  • Is conflict an opportunity for change in your family?
  • How are your communication skills?
  • Do you have a consistent system for resolving problems in the family?
  • Do you ask for neutral help or advice from uninvolved third parties?

Resolving problems in the family has a lot to do with the skills and experiences we bring to the table. A lot of us repeat the patterns we saw at home but we now have the benefit of new strategies to actually resolve
problems rather than perpetuating them. Consider some of the following
ideas to help your family increase self-awareness and move forward positively:

  • Develop a conflict resolution strategy.
  • Develop communication skills.
  • Develop listening skills.
  • Work together.

It’s amazing how those four basic elements can help families resolve
problems. Most of our families are not set up to fix problems, just
make them go away temporarily. I enjoy consulting for parents to create
new ways of actually fixing problems in the family, so everyone involved can feel included and valued.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and fix the problems in your family?

Cheers,

Guy

Achieve Your Dreams with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Achieve Your Dreams with Self-Awareness

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You can achieve your dreams with self-awareness because, when you understand and can manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re able to consciously move in whatever direction you want to.

The mistake we often make is that we live our whole lives putting our dreams on the back burner. There are several reasons this happens including fear, paying the bills, lack of planning and not believing that our dreams will come true.

People often think that thinking of their dreams is too unrealistic. The truth is that our lives tend to follow the patterns that we establish. If we think something cannot be achieved that will tend to happen.

As yourself this: What can I do today to start living my dreams? If you start believing and acting on the assumption that you can actually achieve your dreams you will begin to structure you life to make it happen.

The main message is don’t give up, there is always time to start working on what you want in life. What will you do to develop self-awareness and make your dreams a reality?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Critical Thinking - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Critical Thinking

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If you’re actively working on increasing your self-awareness then you’re familiar with critical thinking, the process by which you determine whether something is true or false. When you’re able to use facts to determine whether something is valid or not, you’re better equipped to deal with any situation that comes your way and live a happier life. Let’s look at the difference between an individual who doesn’t think critically and one who does:

Person 1

Someone says something to this person that scares her. She can’t figure out what to do and doesn’t know how to assess what’s true or false about what she’s being told. Because she doesn’t understand the topic at hand, she draws conclusions based on visceral feelings, suppositions, or hunches rather than facts. Unable to ascertain what’s really going on, she remains uninformed and fearful.

Person 2

This person has been told the same thing, initially feels scared, but has the presence of mind to evaluate the topic. She does some research to determine what is true or false about what she’s been told based on demonstrable and verifiable facts. She is able to view the issue in context and asses its likely impact on her life. She reacts appropriately based on the information she’s collected.

You’ll be much more likely to live a meaningful and balanced life if you take the time to determine what’s actually true or false about any given topic or situation. Some people leave things to emotion, chance, or superstition; you can choose to take a dispassionate look at the issue and deal with it based on demonstrable facts. How will you use your critical thinking skills?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Be Genuinely Happy - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Be Genuinely Happy

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Are you really happy or just pretending? Over many years of providing self-awareness consulting to individuals and groups, I’ve noticed that the less happy people are, the more vociferously they will claim to be happy. It’s as if they feel they have to put up a brave front so that nobody will know how much they’re really hurting inside.

You can’t be genuinely happy in life if you lack self-awareness and walk around with tons of unresolved or conflicting issues rattling around in your head. I’ve met many a “happy” person who is so quick to anger that it’s frightening. When you’re truly self-aware and content, you feel, think and behave in ways that are consistent with happiness, for example:

  • You treat others well.
  • You’re kind to people without expecting anything in return.
  • You don’t feel like you have to beat anyone.
  • You help others succeed.
  • You think and behave with empathy.
  • The various parts of your psyche aren’t fighting each other.
  • You don’t suppress your emotions.
  • You feel a sense of well-being and balance inside.
  • You smile and laugh genuinely and often.
  • You live life as the real you.

True happiness comes from a deep sense of peace and well-being inside you. It means that you’ve built up your self-awareness, worked on your hurts, and healed yourself to the point where pain doesn’t rule your life or you’re not trying to ignore it.

What will you do to to increase self-awareness and be genuinely happy?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Damaged - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Being Damaged

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Self-awareness is a quality that is in short supply in deeply damaged people because they tend to behave unconsciously, based on their inner pain. When someone is hurt at a core level and lashes out based on those inner wounds, it’s a visceral reaction rather than one based on careful deliberation. Here are some characteristics of a deeply damaged person:

  • Thinking, feeling and behaving negatively based on past hurts.
  • Lack of empathy toward others.
  • Rigid thinking and inability to consider other points of view.
  • Inability to heal.
  • Reluctance to change, stuck in current way of doing things.
  • Lashing out at others based on unresolved issues inside himself.
  • Unwilling to examine what causes his inner turmoil.
  • Lack of understanding of what will really make him happy.
  • Seeks approval from people who don’t really value him.
  • Pattern of negative relationships.
  • Harsh, hard, commanding personality on the outside, fragile on the inside.
  • Lies to self and others to justify incongruous, inconsistent thoughts and beliefs.
  • Treats other people poorly, a reflection of his inner feelings about himself.

If you’ve ever met a person like this, you’ve probably gotten a creepy feeling about them, unless you fall into this category, in which case the behavior seems normal. Thankfully, even deeply troubled people can change the course of their lives by replacing their old thoughts and behaviors with more positive ones. It’s a long and arduous process, but anyone with the will to let go of the damage and love themselves is capable of doing it.

The key to being genuinely happy in life is to think and behave positively to make the world a better place for yourself and others. Self-awareness allows you to take a careful, meaningful look at yourself and heal the hurts that keep you from being your true, shiny self. What will you do to move beyond the damage?

Cheers,

Guy

self-awareness consulting

Unhappy People Lack Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Unhappy People Lack Self-Awareness

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Years ago, I had to interact with this unhappy person who was always stomping around in a state of heightened agitation and unease. I remember feeling drained and annoyed by what seemed to be a person who lacked self-awareness, was always in his own little world, and didn’t seem to care about anyone else but himself. I always wanted to tell him that there was so much more to life than being miserable and upset all the time, or that he didn’t have to get his stuff on others.

Then I realized that I was the unhappy person. Regardless of how he was behaving, it was I who was becoming upset about the things he was doing. For many years after this realization, I worked hard on calming and healing myself instead of focusing on others. Where once I would get perturbed by someone like him, I eventually learned to handle it.

The moral of the story is that we have within us the power to react any way we want to any person or event in our lives. Self-awareness means possessing the balance within you to find calm in the heaviest storm. What will you do about the unhappy person in your life?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy