Awareness of Emotions

Self-Awareness Definition - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Definition

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Self-awareness is a state of being where you consciously manage your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. It’s a deeper insight into who you are as a person so you can live on purpose rather than unconsciously. It helps you understand how your thinking, feelings and behaviors affect you and others so you can live positively.

When you understand who you are on a deeper level, you can move your life in any direction you want. You become a more effective, balanced, thoughtful and successful person.

Some of the benefits of self-awareness are:

  • Increased ability to modulate your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
  • Better interpersonal relationships.
  • Living a happier life with less internal and external conflict.
  • Ability to discover who you really are deep inside.
  • Living a life of meaning and purpose.

What would you add to this list?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Healing Your Workplace - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Healing Your Workplace

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Self-awareness, team building, and healing are strongly linked in the workplace because teams can’t function well if everyone is walking around carrying personal grudges and hurts. It often falls on the team leader to help everyone function effectively but it’s nearly impossible if he or she is carrying around a lot of negative energy.

There are many negative workplace experiences that affected people negatively. Individuals sometimes hold on to these feelings for a long time even when they realize intellectually that they would be better off letting them go. I consult with leaders and employees about how they can end this cycle of negative feelings and thoughts and build stronger teams and it almost always begins with healing.

Healing your workplace is one of the most important concepts for you and your employees’ well-being and it begins with having the self-awareness to heal yourself. If you think about it, you deal with people very differently when you are healthy rather than hurt. If you want to create a work environment that is free of hurts from the past, then think about the following questions.

1.  What do I need to heal?

This question will help you define what it is that you need to look at. There is no right or wrong answer, you get to decide what part of you or your workplace is hurt and then you get to heal it. No issue is to small or trivial, if you need to heal it it is a valid starting point. You can have several issues but try to pick one to start on.

2.  How will I heal myself?

There are many avenues you can take to heal yourself and they almost always involve getting help from an outside person who can help you get a clear perspective. You benefit from realizing that you need help and then reaching out to someone who can partner with you to make it happen. There is no right or wrong approach to healing, look for an approach that works for you. Some people talk to a friend, others a therapist and others HR.

3.  How will I know that I am healed?

The goal of healing is to come to terms and feel at peace with the issues you face. You will know you are healed when an issue no longer stirs negative feelings inside you. You will also see improvements in your day to day work life because that issue won’t be affecting you in the same way.  Healing can take time so be patient and keep working on taking care of yourself. Take it easy on yourself and only work on healing one thing at a time. Once you feel better about one thing then you are then ready to move on to the next issue.

Do some careful thinking about these three questions and you will begin the process of building self-awareness and discovering what hurts and how to heal it. The idea is not to reopen terrible wounds and relive those moments, it’s to acknowledge that you have an issue and work on it. Once you heal yourself you’ll be in a great position to help your team do the same. The result is a workplace where people aren’t working out their personal stuff on each other.

How will you increase your self-awareness and start healing your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are Open-Minded - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Are Open-Minded

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People who possess self-awareness tend to be open-minded because they are able to examine, reflect upon, and even critique themselves. When you’re open-minded you do things like:

  • Examine yourself.
  • Welcome new points of view.
  • Change your mind.
  • See things from various perspectives.
  • Venture into the dark side as well as the light.
  • See each day as an opportunity to explore something.
  • Share your deeper self with the world.

If you’re closed-minded you do the opposite of these things and you live a very different kind of life. One of the reasons I love providing life guidance, workshops, and retreats for people who value self-awareness is that they are receptive to new and interesting ways of seeing things.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Nice - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Being Nice

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Self-awareness leads to being nice because the more comfortable you are with yourself the less you’ll get your stuff on other people. It’s really easy to get caught up with the things going on inside your head and acting out on others in an unconscious manner. Maybe you’ve seen a boss fly off the handle at someone or a significant other shout at her partner. These are examples of actions that aren’t self-aware because people are doing them automatically rather than with careful forethought.

Self-awareness means that you’ve taken the time to know yourself so well that you don’t do things unconsciously. You’re happy, balanced and able to treat yourself and others kindly. There’s a myth in our society that being nice is being weak when it’s actually a positive sign that someone is healthy and balanced. Please keep in mind that I’m not talking about the syrupy-sweet niceness of someone who really isn’t happy or is trying to manipulate others, I’m referring to the kind of niceness that comes from someone who feels genuinely and deeply great about themselves. What will you do to be authentically nice?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence in Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence in Relationships

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Have you ever had a relationship that isn’t going well and you have no idea how to improve it? Do you have a pattern of relationships that are permeated with discomfort and conflict?

In order to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence in relationships, it is vital to to start building up your ability to deal with and manage your own emotions, as well as how you relate to other people’s emotions. Here are some examples of self-awareness and emotional intelligence in relationships:

  • One person gets angry and the other person recognizes that there is an emotion under there and simply listens to the other person talk about it.
  • Something stressful is happening in the relationship and both individuals are able to identify their emotions and use them to improve the situation.
  • An emotion comes up and the other person doesn’t feel threatened and doesn’t react or fight back.
  • Both individuals in the relationship are comfortable with their own emotions and each others’.
  • Both individuals have empathy for the other.
  • Both individuals are able to reason and problem solve because they can manage their own emotions.
  • The relationship has a natural, calm, safe, healthy feeling.

Imagine how you would feel if the examples above were a part of your relationships. How many of these things do you currently do? Most people don’t have relationships like this because they haven’t learned how build self-awareness and use their emotions positively. Here are some ideas on how to start being self-aware, comfortable with your and other people’s emotions, and create more enjoyable relationships:

  • Learn to identify and name the emotion you’re feeling, and do the same for other people.
  • Shift from seeing your emotions as a threat or something to be avoided and start feeling them and using them to move in a positive direction.
  • Learn how to experience your emotions and see them as a normal part of life.
  • Learn how to deal with and manage your emotions so you can make positive decisions.
  • Stop reacting to other people, let them experience their emotions without getting in the way or making it about you.
  • Stop thinking that other people are trying to harm you with their emotions.
  • Learn how to just observe and listen when other people are experiencing an emotion. Ask open-ended questions like, “What are you feeling?” or “What’s going on?” and just be there for them.

The key to building self-awareness and emotional intelligence in relationships is to practice feeling what’s going on inside you, be there for the other person when he/she is feeling something, and then using your self-awareness and emotions to take action in a positive manner. This process requires practice but, over time, you’ll enjoy much deeper, stronger, happier relationships.

What will you do to increase the self-awareness and emotional intelligence in your relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helped Me Become the Person I Am Now - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helped Me Become the Person I Am Now

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I wasn’t always into self-awareness. The person I am now is very different from the one I was years ago. I used to be driven by the need to feel superior, obsessed with what others thought about me; the kind of person who would put other people down to feel better about himself. At the same time, I stuffed my feelings deep inside, tried to ignore them and, consequently, felt horribly unbalanced and unhappy most of the time.

I grew up in a competitive family where you had to fight to be seen and heard. I was not encouraged to acknowledge or work out any of my inner conflicts, I simply had to hold them in and try to appear invincible. My family was ill-equipped to deal with anything emotional. Sure, we knew how to be angry, or sad, or fake happy, but not how to really deal with the core issues that were troubling us. The only way I got any attention was to be dramatic or clown-like because everyone else was so busy sucking all the energy out of everything they touched. This environment taught me to keep things to myself.

When was in my teens, I was an insecure mess who didn’t know how to deal with himself or others. I was hurting constantly but was not allowed to talk about it. I didn’t know how to build positive relationships. In my twenties I had no idea who I was and treated myself poorly because of it. People on the outside would probably say that I was affable and outgoing, but inside I was a mess. I hurt a lot of people in my teens, twenties, and thirties because I didn’t know who I was.

Somewhere along the way I realized that I felt uneasy and disjointed because I wasn’t living life as myself. I had learned to conform to the wishes of my family or friends but I hadn’t learned to listen to my own inner voice. As soon as I discovered I could be myself, I started shedding all the garbage that had piled up on me and became a kinder, more empathic, more whole person. I pursued my own goals in life and worked hard to live genuinely. Gradually, I began building my self-awareness and healing the hurts from my past.

The person I am now barely resembles the one I used to be. I love being this person and hope it helps build a better world instead of one filed with strife and sadness. What kind of person are you right now?

Cheers,

Guy

People with Self-Awareness Understand That Feelings Are Normal - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

People with Self-Awareness Understand That Feelings Are Normal

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A big part of self-awareness is realizing that feelings are a natural part of being human. It’s normal to have feelings, although countless numbers of people do everything possible to avoid them. This leads to individuals who only allow themselves to feel certain things and try to ignore the remainder.

I knew a person years ago who had a really tough time admitting any vulnerability or fear. He lived a life where he seemed invincible but was falling apart inside, and it eventually began to show. He gradually fell apart, behaving erratically and distancing himself from others. He thought he was protecting himself but he was really isolating himself from meaningful human interaction, all because he was avoiding feeling fear.

Feelings are a normal part of life, no matter how difficult they may appear to be. They are signals from out minds and bodies that something needs attention. They tell us how we’re doing. When I have uncomfortable feelings of any kind, I try to acknowledge them and feel them fully. I honor what my body is telling me and experience it as much as possible so I can heal and move forward positively.

We can only be truly happy in life when we have the self-awareness necessary to be at peace with all our emotions. What will you do to increase your self-awareness and get in touch with your feelings?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy