Examples of Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness and Becoming a Better Leader - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Becoming a Better Leader

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Self-awareness can help you become a better leader because, when you understand and are able to consciously manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you are in the position to interact much more positively with others and get more done with less effort.

When I work with leaders we frequently talk about the concept of leading more by doing less. It’s a different way of thinking about leadership because it asks us to have the self-awareness to give more power to our employees so that we will eventually lead well. Here are four ideas to help you start moving toward inspiring your staff.

Let Go of Power and Control

The idea that we have to be on top of people or dominate them in some way pervades our leadership practices. I’ve found that self-aware leaders let go of the need to be the “expert” or “top dog” and move toward a model that gives more power and control to their staff. The whole point of doing this is to give your people the ability to function well on their own. This will make you look great in the end even if it feels counter-intuitive at first.

Be a Resource Instead of a Supervisor

Instead of micromanaging or riding your employees set yourself up as a resource. This allows you to breathe and be there for your employees when they need it. Make yourself available for any questions or feedback but please refrain from giving advice at every possible moment. People will ask you for help when they believe that you’re there to help them rather than judge or correct them.

Encourage People to be Independent and Grow

One of the best ways to retain employees is to get out of the way and let them shine. This means that we have the self-awareness to learn to identify our employees’ talents and abilities and then let them use them in the workplace. This helps people feel invested and valued in the organization. Employees are far more likely to want to excel and do more if we allow them to use their interests.

Leadership Is Up To You

Leaders frequently ask me, “But how do we do this stuff in a work environment that doesn’t support it?” The answer is that you get to lead in any way you choose, even within the parameters of a given situation. In other words, you choose whether you take action to inspire your employees.

Try these ideas as you move toward being a leader who truly inspires his or her employees. What will you do to develop self-awareness and become a better leader?

Cheers,

Guy

How Self-Aware Leaders Communicate Effectively - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How Self-Aware Leaders Communicate Effectively

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Leaders who lack self-awareness often think that effective communication is about showing how powerful or in control they are and talking on top of their employees or clients. This approach overlooks the reality that there is more than one person involved in a conversation. Self-aware leaders realize that communicating effectively is about making sure everyone feels important and valued. Here are some practical tips to help you practice effective communication in your workplace.

Talk Much Less

It’s much easier to understand what other people are saying when you’re not talking, thinking of the next thing you’re going to say or how you’re going to defend yourself. It’s very difficult to accurately grasp what other people are saying if you’re talking at the same time they are.

Listen Much More

A frequently overlooked skill, active listening helps you get more information from the other person so you can then make better decisions. Listening actively means that you are intensely focused on understanding what the other person is saying and you’re there with them the whole time they’re talking.

Keep an Open Mind

Effective communication isn’t just about forcing one point of view on others, it’s about understanding that other people have ideas that may be greatly beneficial to the organization. Try not to go into conversations with an agenda or strategy for victory. Be willing to consider ideas that don’t agree with yours.

Value the Input of Your Employees

Show your employees that you value what they have to say by letting them say it. Give your employees the opportunity to share their ideas and perspectives. Create a workplace where people are free to use their knowledge to make their jobs more satisfying and improve how the company functions.

Lose the Ego

Conversations aren’t exclusively about you. Let go of the need to control communication and you will have more opportunities to learn about your employees and what’s actually going on in your workplace. Let go of having to defend or rebut and you will have smoother, more easy-going interactions and get more done.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and communicate effectively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Avoid Being the Office Jerk - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Avoid Being the Office Jerk

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Self-awareness can help you avoid being the office jerk because, when you understand why you feel, think, and behave the way you do, you’re better able to move in a positive direction. Here’s how to tell if you’re a jerk in the office:

  • People tell you you’re being or acting like a jerk.
  • You get in a lot of conflicts.
  • People don’t seem to genuinely like you.
  • You don’t get a lot of feedback from people because they’ve given up on you.
  • You don’t let other people talk.
  • You don’t listen.
  • You impose your views on everyone.
  • You’ve made people cry or get angry during your interactions with them.
  • People’s expressions aren’t ones of happiness when they’re talking with you.
  • People avoid you.
  • If you’re in a leadership position, your employees have poor morale.
  • You create discomfort and sometimes even chaos with the things you say.
  • You hang out with other jerks.
  • People don’t let you in on what’s going on in their departments unless you pry it out of them.
  • You do things by force instead of by collaboration.
  • You lead with fear.
  • You have no self-awareness about how your behaviors affect others.

The thing about being a jerk in the office is that it’s reversible if you take some time to be self-aware and deal with what’s causing your behavior. Here are five steps you can take to start moving on from being a jerk:

  1. Identify one thing you think you might be doing that is jerky, even if you’re not entirely convinced that it is jerky.
  2. Ask yourself what you might be able to do differently that would lead in a positive direction.
  3. Practice that alternative behavior over and over until you get good at it.
  4. Make adjustments if you need to or see that it’s not working.
  5. Repeat the process.

Most jerks, deep down inside, are not happy with their behavior, but they don’t know what to do about it. Use the five steps I’ve mentioned here and you’ll be on your way to building some self-awareness about what you’re doing and impacting your workplace positively.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and avoid being the office jerk?

Cheers,

Guy

Employees Hate Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Employees Hate Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness

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I’ve worked with a lot of different leaders as a consultant and I’ve noticed that the ones who lack self-awareness consistently do things to make their employees unhappy. None of these people are uncaring, unprofessional or evil in any way, they just don’t know what else to do. It’s as if they let things get out of hand one little step at a time until, one day, the car is driving off the cliff.

Very few leaders go to work with the intention of damaging their employees but there are an alarming number of workplaces where, if you asked employees, the boss would be less popular than a toothache. Here are ten things I’ve noticed leaders who lack self-awareness do that increase the chances their employees will hate them.

1.  Never ask for feedback.
2.  Never listen, just talk at people.
3.  Tell people you’re treating them poorly for their own good.
4.  Don’t allow people to complain or dissent in any way.
5.  Make the workplace hyper-competitive instead of collaborative.
6.  Hang out with pet employees and show favoritism.
7.  Don’t be consistent in your decision making.
8.  Run around like everything is an emergency.
9.  Micromanage a lot and give a lot of unsolicited advice.
10.  Treat people like they don’t know anything and you don’t trust them.

Have you ever worked with someone like this? Think of what kind of workplace it created. A large percentage of workplaces actually run like this even if they have a veneer of civility. This is usually because we’ve let our organizations run out of control one small step at a time by forgetting that employees are really valuable and important. Try doing the opposite of these things and you’ll find your employees will like you a lot more. You don’t have to be perfect, just start changing the direction of your leadership one small step at time.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be a leader that is liked?

Cheers,

Guy

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Discourage Team Building - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Discourage Team Building

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A lot of leaders who lack self-awareness say they value team building or pontificate about how important it is for everyone to work together, and then create workplaces where people are discouraged from collaborating or helping one another. It takes self-awareness and commitment to design a workplace where team building is practiced and celebrated. Here are five ways that team building is routinely discouraged in the workplace:

  1. Creating a competitive work environment. People are encouraged to compete on their own behalf instead of as a team. This creates a workplace where people look out for their own interests before thinking about working with others.
  2. Lack of effective communication. People only communicate on a superficial level and only about approved topics. Very little attention is paid to listening to what others say and creating two-way sharing of information.
  3. Missing emotional depth. People aren’t encouraged to understand and welcome emotions in the workplace and how they can bring people together. Displays of emotion are limited to one or two officially sanctioned ones such as fake happiness and anger.
  4. The boss’ ego. The boss can’t let go long enough to let people work collaboratively because it would take away from his (or her) vision of how things should be done. The organization runs according to his personal needs and issues rather than with everyone in mind.
  5. Lack of commitment. Leaders and organizations invest in one team building session per year instead of an ongoing program that teaches people practical skills.

In many organizations that lack self-awareness, team building is an abstract concept that people talk about or pretend is happening. You can move from wishing it would happen to making it a reality by implementing a program that teaches people skills on an ongoing basis. The idea is to create a workplace environment where people are actively being trained in how to work each other and given opportunities to practice the new skills they’re learning.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and promote meaningful team building in your organization?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Realize Team Building Isn't Just about Them - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Realize Team Building Isn’t Just about Them

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Leaders who possess self-awareness realize that team building is about more than them, it’s about making sure every person is equally important and valued in their organization.

As a professional who helps leaders and organizations develop self-awareness, I design and facilitate many team building workshops and it’s fascinating to watch how people relate to each other. I’ll often observe everyone participating actively but deferring to the leader or looking to him (or her) for permission to participate. The other dynamic that frequently occurs is that everyone acts very outwardly happy and bubbly but, when one probes deeper, all kinds of rifts and conflicts are exposed that reflect the kind of workplace leadership has created.

When I see these types of interactions, it tells me a lot about how workplaces are run and what kind of work environments they create. Leaders have a dramatic effect on how team building is practiced in their workplaces, especially if they lack self-awareness. Here are two descriptions of common workplaces, see if you can determine which one is healthier and more productive.

The Autocratic Workplace

Everything goes through the leader and everyone is required or expected to check in with the leader before anything happens. People are tentative and dependent because they’re not encouraged to work on their own or make independent decisions. The leader in these organizations often believes there are functioning teams but, in practice, the teams only operate based on his or her directives and limits. Team building in this type of workplace is usually not very active because people aren’t encouraged to work together and decisions are made through one central person rather than a group. The spotlight is firmly on the leader in this type of organization. This type of workplace is run by a leader who lacks self-awareness.

The Collaborative Workplace

There isn’t one central focus or source of information in this type of workplace because people are given the opportunity to share their wisdom and expertise. Employees are encouraged to work collaboratively and share information with each other and the organization. Leadership is available as a resource if people get stuck or actively participates as an equal partner in teams if invited. Team building in this type of workplace is consistently positive because people are encouraged to work together. The spotlight is on every member of the team because they all are welcome to share their insights and each person is valued as a contributor. This type of workplace is run by a leader who possesses self-awareness.

As a leader, you decide what kind of workplace you create. If you value self-awareness, team building, and helping your employees collaborate, you’ll enjoy the additional brainpower, idea generation, improved interpersonal relationships, and morale that comes from people working together well. If you lack self-awareness and promote an autocratic workplace, you’ll create a different type of environment. Both approaches can create productive, successful organizations, but only one gives employees power and helps them feel like an important and valued member of a team.

What will you do to build self-awareness and use team building to value and help all your employees?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Leads to Deeper Team Building - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Leads to Deeper Team Building

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A lot of team building is fun and helps people bond and have a good time together, but it misses what’s below the surface: self-awareness and how people think and behave long-term. When you’re looking to implement deeper team building in your workplace it helps to think about what really brings people together and how you can maintain positive momentum. Here are some practical ideas to help you build a meaningful program.

Look at People’s Thinking

Individuals’ thought processes can significantly affect how successful your team building activities are. Imagine a leader who lacks self-awareness and doesn’t really believe in bringing people together or enjoys power differentials or giving orders. Think about the employee who believes that nobody will ever listen to him or her so why bother trying to collaborate. Consider the staff member who remembers the team building activities in the past that didn’t lead to anything. The key to building team cohesiveness is to introduce a new way of thinking and behaving that supports group interaction and collaboration. Imagine how your workplace would run if people genuinely believed they could work together, create a level playing field, share information freely, communicate well and solve problems.

Focus on Behaviors

The way people behave determines how productive your workplace is and how well people collaborate. Take some time to help people build self-awareness to get rid of behaviors that don’t work (gossip, personal issues, power struggles, competition) and replace them with approaches that do such as: listening, asking open-ended questions or problem-solving.

Shift from Being Reactive to Proactive

The standard way of doing business is to react to what people say or do. These reactions often have nothing to do with work, as when a leader works out some personal issue on his employees. The key to building more successful teams is to implement ongoing training that helps employees deal with any challenge that comes their way and creates a culture where self-awareness and positive interaction are valued. People are much more proactive when they know how to stop reacting to people and events.

Try these ideas and you’ll shift your focus from superficial interactions to more meaningful ones. The key to effective team building is to move away from encouraging superficial relationships to diving into the thoughts and behaviors that are under the surface.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and promote deeper team building in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy