Lacking Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness Helped Me Become the Person I Am Now - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helped Me Become the Person I Am Now

/ / Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , , ,

I wasn’t always into self-awareness. The person I am now is very different from the one I was years ago. I used to be driven by the need to feel superior, obsessed with what others thought about me; the kind of person who would put other people down to feel better about himself. At the same time, I stuffed my feelings deep inside, tried to ignore them and, consequently, felt horribly unbalanced and unhappy most of the time.

I grew up in a competitive family where you had to fight to be seen and heard. I was not encouraged to acknowledge or work out any of my inner conflicts, I simply had to hold them in and try to appear invincible. My family was ill-equipped to deal with anything emotional. Sure, we knew how to be angry, or sad, or fake happy, but not how to really deal with the core issues that were troubling us. The only way I got any attention was to be dramatic or clown-like because everyone else was so busy sucking all the energy out of everything they touched. This environment taught me to keep things to myself.

When was in my teens, I was an insecure mess who didn’t know how to deal with himself or others. I was hurting constantly but was not allowed to talk about it. I didn’t know how to build positive relationships. In my twenties I had no idea who I was and treated myself poorly because of it. People on the outside would probably say that I was affable and outgoing, but inside I was a mess. I hurt a lot of people in my teens, twenties, and thirties because I didn’t know who I was.

Somewhere along the way I realized that I felt uneasy and disjointed because I wasn’t living life as myself. I had learned to conform to the wishes of my family or friends but I hadn’t learned to listen to my own inner voice. As soon as I discovered I could be myself, I started shedding all the garbage that had piled up on me and became a kinder, more empathic, more whole person. I pursued my own goals in life and worked hard to live genuinely. Gradually, I began building my self-awareness and healing the hurts from my past.

The person I am now barely resembles the one I used to be. I love being this person and hope it helps build a better world instead of one filed with strife and sadness. What kind of person are you right now?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Can Help You Overcome Insecurity - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Can Help You Overcome Insecurity

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

Self-awareness can help you overcome insecurity because, the more you know yourself deep inside, the fewer reasons you’ll have to be insecure. Self-aware people understand themselves and their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors and are able to focus their energy in a positive direction. So how can you reduce insecurity? Let’s take a look.

Insecurity comes from deep within you and is often caused by messages you heard early in life. You can feel insecure even when things are going well in your life because it never goes away unless you heal it. The difficulty arises when your inner dialogue gets in the way of being a happy, balanced or effective person.

So what do you do if you regularly experience insecurity? If you’re really ready to move past it, you’ll work on understanding why you feel the way you do (increasing your self-awareness) and ask for help when you don’t have the answers. There is a pervasive myth that working on your issues should be avoided at all costs. That approach never leads to happiness because the issue never goes away and often gets worse the more you try to ignore it. No matter how much you try to stuff it back in the box, it always pops out again, often at inappropriate times. Doing the work is the only way to alleviate the situation.

Feeling secure comes from building your self-awareness. It’s the process of finding out who you are, what you love to do, what brings you joy, your interests, your passions in life and the issues that you need to resolve to move forward. When you understand yourself better, you make decisions based on feeling powerful and happy rather than insecure.

What will you do to build your self-awareness and reduce your insecurity?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Dealing with a Difficult Boss - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Dealing with a Difficult Boss

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Self-awareness is an invaluable skill to possess when dealing with a difficult boss. When you are comfortable with yourself and understand your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re better able to deal with any person who comes your way, no matter how challenging they may be.

It’s hard and unpleasant to work for a tyrant. Difficult bosses micromanage, keep us off balance, withhold information, shout at us, undermine our efforts, avoid us or perpetrate any number of behaviors that make our time in the workplace unpleasant.

This is all normal. If you think about it, people are thrown into the business world where they re-enact all the dramas from their upbringing and personal life on the people they manage. There are no classes on how to keep your personal strife from affecting your subordinates.

Regardless of what your boss does, there are things you can do to develop your self-awareness so you can take care of yourself and deal with the situation realistically. Think about the following ideas the next time you find yourself feeling exasperated by a troublesome boss:

1. It’s not about you. People behave the way they do because of their own issues. Just because they don’t know how to treat you well doesn’t mean that you have to take on that burden and feel bad about it. Remember to take care of yourself regardless of how your boss treats you.

2. It’s all in your perspective. Ever wonder why some people are bothered by a certain behavior and others take it in stride? You get to choose what you focus on. If you let your boss yank your chain you give up all your power. If you redirect or ignore negative behavior you become stronger.

3. Try something other than confrontation. Many people think that the only way to deal with challenging issues is to get in someone’s face. While this may stop the behavior temporarily, it rarely gets rid of the underlying cause. Do some research on two-way communication and problem solving to build up your ability to work with your boss on finding solutions.

4. Listen more than you talk. By listening you let the person tell you what’s going on and you learn a great deal about what’s causing them to behave in this negative manner. It also helps you avoid mistaken assumptions.

5. Leave your ego at the door. We tend to get caught up in trying to win battles or avoiding embarrassment but that gets in the way of actually fixing stuff. Model the behavior you want to see. A calm and caring attitude will get you farther than trying to prove that your point of view is correct.

6. Think long term. When trying to fix a situation with a difficult boss please realize that it will take considerable time to alleviate. Remember that it took them a long time to get to where they are, it will take long-term patience and kindness to interrupt the pattern. Expect that you will not get the results you desire the first few times you try this approach.

7. Stick with it. The only way situations change is by consistently repeating new behaviors. If you practice these steps over time, people will eventually become accustomed to your new way of doing things. Keep in mind that they may actually get worse initially before they get better.

8. Have an alternate plan. If all your efforts fail then you might need to evaluate your options for the future. Life is too short to endure poor treatment. You deserve to work at a place where you are appreciated. Start planning the next phase of your life today and you will have something positive to look forward to.

Nobody enjoys having a difficult boss but there are things we can do to increase our self-awareness, regain our power, and live a happier professional life. When you choose to work things out with a problematic boss you not only affect your interaction with him or her, you begin to take control of the remainder of your life.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and deal effectively with your difficult boss?

Cheers,

Guy

Insecure Leaders Lack Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Insecure Leaders Lack Self-Awareness

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership, Self-Consciousness / , ,

Lack of self-awareness leads to insecure leaders who are unable to run their organizations effectively or interact positively with their employees. They focus way too much on unhealthy and unproductive behaviors rather than building positive, supportive, flexible workplaces.

Insecure leaders often do negative things in the workplace because they don’t feel great about themselves deep down inside, which comes from a lack of self-awareness about their own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, and how they impact others in the workplace.

Leaders display insecure behavior for many reasons including because they are frightened, feel threatened, are not in control of their own actions or emotions or feel like they are not important enough. Some leaders withdraw when they are insecure and others become overbearing or require a lot of support and attention. Regardless of how you behave, insecurity is about how you feel about yourself. So what can you do to feel great about yourself and your leadership abilities.

Consider the following ideas to boost your self-awareness and reduce your insecurity.

Characteristics of Secure Leaders

  • Aren’t threatened by others and don’t need to dominate.
  • Listen well and don’t talk on top of others.
  • Don’t require attention all the time.
  • Are comfortable with other people’s success.
  • Don’t feel they have to win.
  • Don’t put other people down to make themselves feel better.

Characteristics of Insecure Leaders

  • Threatened by others.
  • Talk a lot to get attention.
  • Need to be the center of attention.
  • Jealous of other people’s success.
  • Competitive, always need to win.
  • Put people down to feel better.

Which list do your behaviors reflect more often? If you see yourself on the insecure side, it’s not the end of the world, all you have to do is increase some of the positive traits. Even highly insecure people can feel better about themselves by practicing behaviors that allow them to experience their own success and help others do the same.

Leaders can increase their self-awareness by working out their own personal issues and finding ways to use their talents and abilities in the workplace. When you focus on building yourself up in positive ways you can then do the same for your workplace and employees. Being confident takes some practice but you’ll get to enjoy a more rewarding work life.

What will you do to develop your self-awareness and be a healthy, secure leader?

Cheers,

Guy

Moving Past Criticism with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Moving Past Criticism with Self-Awareness

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , , , , ,

When you’re actively developing and practicing self-awareness, you’re able to accurately assess your strengths and areas for improvement, which helps you worry less about what other people say, including if they criticize you.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of criticism and, for some people, it can be debilitating and even paralyzing. The good news is you can be self-aware and learn how to listen to the criticism, focus it in a different way, and use it to become a stronger person. Here is what some smart people have to say about the subject.

David Brinkley:

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.

Elbert Hubbard:

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Franklin P. Jones:

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Henri Frederic Amiel:

We are never more discontented with others than when we are discontented with ourselves.

A significant part of self-awareness is the ability to think and behave positively regardless of what people say. What will you do to move past criticism?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Choose Courage over Fear - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Choose Courage over Fear

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , ,

Self-awareness helps you choose courage over fear because life has a way of creating challenging situations whether you want them or not. When these difficult circumstances present themselves you have a choice as to whether you think and behave based on fear or courage. Each approach leads you in a different direction and only one helps you live a more balanced, happy life. Lets look at a few examples of the difference between the two:

Fear: I’ve always done it this way.
Courage: I can try something new.

Fear: I hate change.
Courage: I see change as an opportunity.

Fear: That issue is too daunting and complex.
Courage: I can resolve the issue little by little.

Fear: I need to control everything and everyone around me.
Courage: I’m fine with letting go of control.

Fear: That’s unfamiliar and strange.
Courage: I can learn something from it.

Fear: Self-awareness is for people who eat granola.
Courage: I’m willing to learn about myself and others.

Living in fear limits your opportunities while thinking and acting with courage helps you deal with any situation that comes your way. The idea in life is to think and behave in ways that help you be more flexible and resilient, not less. What will you do to develop self-awareness so you can choose courage over fear?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Healing Your Hurts - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Healing Your Hurts

/ / Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , , , , , ,

Self-awareness helps you begin healing your hurts by encouraging you to take a conscious look at the things that bring you discomfort in life and that need some attention. Many people walk through life carrying some unresolved pain that keeps them from being a genuinely happy, expansive person. It’s impossible to live fully or authentically if you allow certain memories to hold you back. The good news is that you can use self-awareness to examine who you are and deal with the challenges from your past.

Healing your hurts isn’t easy because you have to revisit parts of your life that may be unpleasant. The key to successfully moving past the pain is to acknowledge it’s there and do everything in your power to resolve it and move past it. Once you understand and deal with the thoughts and emotions related to difficult issues, you provide yourself a new opportunity to live based on the wonderful things about you rather than being held back by the pain. What will you do to use self-awareness to start healing your hurts?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy