Lacking Self-Awareness

How Self-Aware Leaders Deal with Problems at Work - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How Self-Aware Leaders Deal with Problems at Work

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Self-aware leaders are able to deal with problems at work because they understand their and others’ emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, which helps them build highly functional workplaces.

We all know people who keep going when things get tough at work but it’s another story to do it ourselves if it happens to us. It’s so much easier to tell someone else how to keep going but not quite as simple when you have to do it yourself. Here are some tips on what you can do to use self-awareness when challenges arise in your work life.

This Too Shall Pass
Even the most difficult situations eventually go away and transform into something else. Change is constantly happening at work and and even terrible times eventually end.

What Can I Learn?
Everything that happens to you is a chance to learn. Think about what you would and how you might prepare differently in the future.

New Opportunities
Any challenge that comes your way is an opportunity to think in new ways and discover alternate approaches.

You Can Handle It and You Don’t Have to Control It
There really isn’t anything you can’t handle unless you convince yourself that you can’t. Remember that there are things that you simply can’t control.

Your Mental Attitude
You don’t have to forget that things are difficult but you can focus your thoughts on what you can do about the situation rather than what you can’t change.

Take Care of Yourself
Do things to comfort yourself, that bring you joy and don’t cost money. Take a walk, hug your significant other, exercise or do any other activity that helps you feel better.

Try these ideas the next time you feel that work is too much. With some practice, you’ll find that you can handle anything that comes your way in your career and workplace. What will you do to develop self-awareness and deal effectively with the problems that come your way?

Cheers,

Guy

Leadership, Self-Awareness, and Your Beliefs - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Leadership, Self-Awareness, and Your Beliefs

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The more self-awareness you possess, the more positively you view your environment because you’re able to deal effectively with your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, which leads to beneficial beliefs.

Your leadership style reflects what you believe about the world: If you think change is undesirable, your workplace will reflect that perspective; if you believe that trying new things is advantageous, your workplace will move in that direction. Your level of self-awareness and the resulting beliefs impact how your organization functions and sends your employees distinct messages about their roles and importance. Let’s look at two leadership belief systems and the underlying messages they broadcast:

We’ve Always Done It this Way

  • Don’t rock the boat.
  • Do as you’re told.
  • Change is scary.
  • Keep things as they’ve always been.
  • Flexibility is weakness.
  • Don’t question.
  • Follow the rules.
  • Know your place.
  • Keep your ideas to yourself.
  • There’s only one way to solve a problem, my way.
  • Self-awareness is discouraged.

Something New, Better or Different Is Possible

  • Shake things up.
  • Do things based on your own judgement.
  • Welcome change.
  • Be open to trying new things.
  • Flexibility is agility.
  • Question things.
  • There are no rules.
  • Design your own role.
  • Share your ideas freely.
  • There are many ways to solve a problem.
  • Self-awareness is valued.

When I describe these two leadership approaches when I consult with organizations, someone who lacks self-awareness will inevitably say something like, “There has to be order and someone has to be in charge, you can’t just let everyone do what they want,” to which I answer, “Why not?”

Leaders can design any type of workplace they want. They can give their employees power by allowing them to think and act independently, develop new ideas and question current practices or they can keep making people toe the line and do what’s always been done. The only obstacle is what they believe is possible.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and use your beliefs to build a healthy workplace for everyone?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Avoid Being the Office Jerk - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Avoid Being the Office Jerk

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Self-awareness can help you avoid being the office jerk because, when you understand why you feel, think, and behave the way you do, you’re better able to move in a positive direction. Here’s how to tell if you’re a jerk in the office:

  • People tell you you’re being or acting like a jerk.
  • You get in a lot of conflicts.
  • People don’t seem to genuinely like you.
  • You don’t get a lot of feedback from people because they’ve given up on you.
  • You don’t let other people talk.
  • You don’t listen.
  • You impose your views on everyone.
  • You’ve made people cry or get angry during your interactions with them.
  • People’s expressions aren’t ones of happiness when they’re talking with you.
  • People avoid you.
  • If you’re in a leadership position, your employees have poor morale.
  • You create discomfort and sometimes even chaos with the things you say.
  • You hang out with other jerks.
  • People don’t let you in on what’s going on in their departments unless you pry it out of them.
  • You do things by force instead of by collaboration.
  • You lead with fear.
  • You have no self-awareness about how your behaviors affect others.

The thing about being a jerk in the office is that it’s reversible if you take some time to be self-aware and deal with what’s causing your behavior. Here are five steps you can take to start moving on from being a jerk:

  1. Identify one thing you think you might be doing that is jerky, even if you’re not entirely convinced that it is jerky.
  2. Ask yourself what you might be able to do differently that would lead in a positive direction.
  3. Practice that alternative behavior over and over until you get good at it.
  4. Make adjustments if you need to or see that it’s not working.
  5. Repeat the process.

Most jerks, deep down inside, are not happy with their behavior, but they don’t know what to do about it. Use the five steps I’ve mentioned here and you’ll be on your way to building some self-awareness about what you’re doing and impacting your workplace positively.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and avoid being the office jerk?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Aren't Drunk with Power - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Aren’t Drunk with Power

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Power is heady stuff. It makes leaders who lack self-awareness feel important and can even seem to plug the holes they have in various areas of their lives. Have you ever worked for someone who loved power or always reminded you of how powerful or influential they are? These types of behaviors predictably create less-than-ideal workplaces because leaders who are solely focused on gaining and maintaining power aren’t really thinking of anyone else in the company. Here are ten ways to tell if you lack self-awareness and are drunk with power.

1.  You’re in love with the sound of your commands.
2.  You don’t entertain others’ ideas.
3.  You frequently remind your employees how much power you have over them.
4.  Employees need to run everything by you for your approval.
5.  Your employees aren’t encouraged to make decisions on their own.
6.  Everything runs smoothly as long as nobody contradicts you.
7.  You make people do small stuff just to show you can.
8.  You design elaborate ways to limit others’ power while increasing yours.
9.  You surround yourself with people who tell you how great you are.
10. Your workplace runs on a strict top-down hierarchy.

So what do you do if you exhibit some of these qualities? Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’re some kind of monster, it’s just that you’re being pulled in a certain direction. Power doesn’t have to be toxic, it’s used by self-aware, enlightened leaders to build strong companies where employees are fulfilled and happy and productivity and morale are high. The secret is to make power about everyone, not just you. When your employees feel valuable and powerful they’ll help you move your organization in new and exciting directions.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and avoid being drunk with power?

Cheers,

Guy

Employees Hate Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Employees Hate Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness

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I’ve worked with a lot of different leaders as a consultant and I’ve noticed that the ones who lack self-awareness consistently do things to make their employees unhappy. None of these people are uncaring, unprofessional or evil in any way, they just don’t know what else to do. It’s as if they let things get out of hand one little step at a time until, one day, the car is driving off the cliff.

Very few leaders go to work with the intention of damaging their employees but there are an alarming number of workplaces where, if you asked employees, the boss would be less popular than a toothache. Here are ten things I’ve noticed leaders who lack self-awareness do that increase the chances their employees will hate them.

1.  Never ask for feedback.
2.  Never listen, just talk at people.
3.  Tell people you’re treating them poorly for their own good.
4.  Don’t allow people to complain or dissent in any way.
5.  Make the workplace hyper-competitive instead of collaborative.
6.  Hang out with pet employees and show favoritism.
7.  Don’t be consistent in your decision making.
8.  Run around like everything is an emergency.
9.  Micromanage a lot and give a lot of unsolicited advice.
10.  Treat people like they don’t know anything and you don’t trust them.

Have you ever worked with someone like this? Think of what kind of workplace it created. A large percentage of workplaces actually run like this even if they have a veneer of civility. This is usually because we’ve let our organizations run out of control one small step at a time by forgetting that employees are really valuable and important. Try doing the opposite of these things and you’ll find your employees will like you a lot more. You don’t have to be perfect, just start changing the direction of your leadership one small step at time.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be a leader that is liked?

Cheers,

Guy

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Discourage Team Building - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness Discourage Team Building

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership / , ,

A lot of leaders who lack self-awareness say they value team building or pontificate about how important it is for everyone to work together, and then create workplaces where people are discouraged from collaborating or helping one another. It takes self-awareness and commitment to design a workplace where team building is practiced and celebrated. Here are five ways that team building is routinely discouraged in the workplace:

  1. Creating a competitive work environment. People are encouraged to compete on their own behalf instead of as a team. This creates a workplace where people look out for their own interests before thinking about working with others.
  2. Lack of effective communication. People only communicate on a superficial level and only about approved topics. Very little attention is paid to listening to what others say and creating two-way sharing of information.
  3. Missing emotional depth. People aren’t encouraged to understand and welcome emotions in the workplace and how they can bring people together. Displays of emotion are limited to one or two officially sanctioned ones such as fake happiness and anger.
  4. The boss’ ego. The boss can’t let go long enough to let people work collaboratively because it would take away from his (or her) vision of how things should be done. The organization runs according to his personal needs and issues rather than with everyone in mind.
  5. Lack of commitment. Leaders and organizations invest in one team building session per year instead of an ongoing program that teaches people practical skills.

In many organizations that lack self-awareness, team building is an abstract concept that people talk about or pretend is happening. You can move from wishing it would happen to making it a reality by implementing a program that teaches people skills on an ongoing basis. The idea is to create a workplace environment where people are actively being trained in how to work each other and given opportunities to practice the new skills they’re learning.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and promote meaningful team building in your organization?

Cheers,

Guy

Do You Limit Your Self-Awareness? - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Do You Limit Your Self-Awareness?

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , , , ,

A lot of people limit their self-awareness because they’re afraid of looking at their hurts and admitting that they might benefit from making some changes. Here are some examples of thoughts and actions that hinder self-awareness:

  • The belief that you don’t have to work on yourself.
  • Thinking that you’re just fine as is, even when everything is crumbling around you.
  • Saying you don’t have time for all that touchy-feely stuff.
  • Acting like you know everything.
  • Living superficially.
  • Refusing to examine the things you might want to improve so you can become a more effective version of you.
  • Trying to control things so people won’t find out how insecure you are.
  • Not wanting to go to therapy.
  • Living life reactively instead of proactively.
  • Doing the same thing you’ve always done.
  • The belief that life is hard and you can’t do anything to change it.
  • Fear of change.

A lot of people stay stuck because they refuse to take an honest look at themselves and learn about what would help them move forward. They literally live their entire lives being miserable. The good news is that you don’t have to be unhappy, just work on figuring out who you are and you’ll be on your way to enjoying a self-aware life.

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy