Self-aware leaders know how to deal with emotions in the workplace because they are in touch with their and others’ ways of experiencing the world. They’re comfortable with themselves and able to connect with others on a deeper level.
Emotions in the workplace can be a challenging subject because, as leaders, we haven’t been taught what to do with them. The increase in our understanding of emotional intelligence now helps us deal more effectively with emotions in the workplace. We can do this when we understand what emotions mean and how we can create a workplace that encourages people to use them in a positive way.
Where does our discomfort with emotions come from? Many leaders I consult for tell me their stories about not being allowed to express emotions in their families or how there were only certain feelings that were allowed. In some families people aren’t allowed to show fear, in others they can’t be joyful, still others don’t permit sadness. Our parents and their parents before them going back generations didn’t realize that emotions aren’t something to suppress and avoid. Emotions are a natural part of being human. We were designed to feel joy, sadness, anger, fear, affection, loss, numbness and many variations on those themes.
Why did this happen? People lacked the self-awareness to realize that it’s OK to experience emotions. They kept hanging on to assumptions like sadness is weak or joy should be tempered. Oftentimes, it was due to having to survive and not appear weak. There just weren’t that many alternatives available to our ancestors.
We now have studied the human mind enough to know that experiencing our emotions thoroughly and freely is actually beneficial to us and is a natural part of being a healthy person. It’s when we try to deny that emotions exist that we start making ourselves and each other miserable and creating problems in our lives and workplaces.
The paradox is that it’s normal to be sad, happy, angry, scared or any feeling you have. If you think about it, they’re your feelings and you’re allowed to experience them. They’re part of being a healthy, self-aware individual.
When you get in touch with your emotions you become stronger and you get to experience life on a deeper level and connect with your colleagues and employees in a different way. Emotions are here to help you. They signal when you are doing great and when you’re not. They aren’t scary or undesirable, they’re just there. Think of all the leaders and employees in the world who work in pain because they deny their emotions. Now think how different their lives and workplace might be if they would just let themselves experience them.
What will you do to develop self-awareness and deal with emotions in the workplace positively?
Cheers,
Guy
