Personal Awareness

Self-Awareness Leadership Examples - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Leadership Examples

People frequently ask me to give them examples of self-aware leadership. A good way to demonstrate the difference between leaders who possess self-awareness and those who don’t is to describe how they behave during a training session. Imagine someone who behaves this way:

  • Doesn’t listen.
  • Interrupts.
  • Gets angry.
  • Confrontational.
  • Talks too long.
  • Tells others what to do.
  • Has an opinion on everything.
  • Seeks attention.
  • Uncooperative.

When someone practices these behaviors in a training setting you can pretty much guarantee what they’re like in the workplace. They likely are people who don’t listen, interrupt others, get angry, confront people, talk too long, tell others what to do etc. Very often these individuals don’t realize how they’re behaving because they’re so used to doing things a certain way.

This is why I emphasize self-awareness in my training programs. It’s the ability to take a look at your own behaviors so that you can keep what works well and modify what doesn’t. It’s the capacity to examine who you are and behave in different ways. It means that you understand how your behaviors affect both you and other people. The goal of self-awareness is to become a more effective person and leader. Effective leaders practice the following behaviors the majority of the time:

  • Listen.
  • Don’t Interrupt.
  • Moderate emotions.
  • Communicate instead of confront.
  • Listen more than they talk.
  • Encourage people to work independently.
  • Value other people’s opinions.
  • Give people attention.
  • Cooperate and collaborate with others.

Leadership is often about consciously setting an example of positive behaviors in the workplace. A leader who behaves based on the first list will get predictable results in the form of a dysfunctional workplace while one who practices the behaviors on the second list will move in a more productive direction. There’s no mystery to this process, positive behaviors lead to positive results. What do your behaviors say about you?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are Deep - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Are Deep

Possessing self-awareness is synonymous with being a deep person, where all the meaningful parts of life reside, although most people prefer to stay in the shallow end. There’s nothing horrible about talking about the weather, sports, or cats, but I prefer to go where other people dare not: the inner workings of the mind in all its tumultuousness, ambiguity, insecurity, and pain.

I’ve always been someone who feels things very intensely, often to the point of discomfort, so it makes sense that my self-awareness work tends to reflect deeper emotions. Many people try to ignore these feelings and uncertainties, sometimes for an entire lifetime, but I figure we’re all wired to feel and we each get to choose whether we use our natural ability to emote. So many of the problems in the world could be resolved if people were willing to work out their inner turmoil before putting it on others.

Being a deep person allows you to experience life at its fullest, warts and all, but with the idea that you’ll be stronger and more balanced when you deal with your issues. When you acknowledge and feel pain, you can then do something positive to heal it.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be a deep person?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means Telling Yourself the Truth - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Means Telling Yourself the Truth

A major element of self-awareness is telling yourself the truth about what’s going on in your life. When you do this you’re able to figure out what’s going well and what needs attention. Being truthful doesn’t mean beating yourself up, it’s just the act of acknowledging the areas you want to strengthen.

A lot of people spend their entire lives lying to themselves and doing things that don’t reflect who they really are deep inside. This leads to pain and misery for the person doing it and the people around him or her. Here are some signs you’re telling yourself the truth:

  • You know who you really are deep down inside.
  • Your words match your actions.
  • You follow your dreams.
  • You deal well with your emotions.
  • You’re not afraid of looking at the difficult issues in your upbringing and life in general.
  • You heal the parts of you that are damaged.
  • You make life easier for yourself and those around you.
  • You don’t lie about who you really are.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Avoiding Being Ordinary - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Avoiding Being Ordinary

Self-awareness helps you avoid being ordinary so you can experience a life of courage, joy, love, enlightenment, meaning, and fulfillment. Throughout my career consulting for and training thoughtful people who are searching for answers in their lives and trying to develop self-awareness, I have noticed that there is a vast difference between conforming and blazing your own path. My experience has taught me that the goal in life isn’t to just get by or live an ordinary existence, but rather:

  • Being who you really are.
  • Doing courageous things each day to make your dreams come true.
  • Going against the grain when in the presence of injustice.
  • Thinking and behaving differently than the norm.
  • Not trying to fit in.
  • Adding to the beauty in the world.
  • Making the world a better place for as many people as possible.
  • Moving beyond high-school behaviors.
  • Becoming your own person rather than the one your parents, family, or peer group want you to be.
  • Thinking and behaving with kindness and compassion rather than self-interest.

Moving past the standard way of being requires consciously diverging from what most people do. It means having the self-awareness to be your own person and do your own thing. The underlying reason is that you get to be yourself rather than conforming to others or pretending you’re someone else, thus living a much richer, more meaningful life.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and go beyond ordinariness?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Welcome Uncertainty and Doubt - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Welcome Uncertainty and Doubt

Many leaders who lack self-awareness run around like the sky is falling instead of realizing that uncertainty and doubt can be excellent opportunities to reevaluate and make positive changes. It seems like many workplaces function on doubt, doom and gloom. The ironic thing is that uncertainty and doubt can actually be catalysts for building self-awareness and creating great workplaces. Here’s what some smart people say about the subject:

Alfred Korzybski:

There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.

Andre Gide:

Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Erich Fromm:

Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.

Frank Crane:

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

As a leader, you have the ability to focus in any way you see fit. You can pretend to know everything and make decisions based on ego or you can be open to new information and change.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and welcome uncertainty and doubt?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Try Not to Be the Problem in Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Try Not to Be the Problem in Relationships

People who lack self-awareness frequently become part of the problem in interpersonal relationships rather than helping devise a solution. This happens because they lose perspective and let other people goad them into conflict or chaos. Look at these scenarios and see if you can spot the difference between being part of the problem and not:

1. The other person gets angry and you immediately retaliate and/or defend yourself.

2. The other person gets angry and you ask them to tell you about it and you listen.

Guess which approach is more likely to get better results? There is a myth that we have to fight for our point of view and deny others theirs but this only perpetuates a communication style that is based on lack of self-awareness and perpetual conflict. If one person wins then the other loses. I much prefer for each person to win.

One of the best ways to reduce confrontation is to simply listen. The world is not going to end if you don’t retaliate or fight. In reality, you actually connect more with the other person if you just listen to them. You also benefit from not fighting.

People like to be valued and listened to and they are much more likely to work with you to resolve problems if they trust you to not trample all over them. The next time you feel a clash coming on, try listening to the other person without commenting, editorializing or offering your opinion. By doing this you will be setting the foundation for improved communication in the future.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and reduce conflict in your relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

What Is Self-Awareness? The Definition of Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

What Is Self-Awareness? The Definition of Self-Awareness

People frequently ask me, “What is self-awareness,” or what the definition of self-awareness is. Here are a few important elements of self-awareness I’ve noticed over years of coaching and facilitating workshops:

  1. The ability to understand how your thoughts, feelings and actions affect not only you but also the people around you.
  2. The ability to heal your hurts.
  3. The ability to think, feel and behave consciously instead of unconsciously.
  4. The ability to live authentically.
  5. Understanding yourself at a deeper level rather than superficially.
  6. Forging deeper relationships.
  7. Making the world a better place for as many people as possible because you feel great about yourself.
  8. Living life as the real you.
  9. Integrating the various parts of your being.
  10. Transcending your ego.

What is self-awareness? You get to decide and you’ll know you’re achieving it when you experience both the struggle and the elation that comes from looking within.

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy