Self-Knowledge Archives – Page 20 of 39

12 Ways to Increase Your Self-Awareness

May 10, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

Here are some practical ways to increase your self-awareness starting today:

Make a list of the things you do well.
Think about how you might use your natural talents to live authentically.
Make a list of the things you do that might benefit from some improvement.
Think about what you can do right now to become wiser and healthier.
Decide on one thing you want to improve about yourself and do one small task each day to work on making it happen.
Keep an open mind about learning new things and changing.
Treat yourself and others well.
Be completely honest with yourself about the things you do that lead in a positive direction and the ones that hold you back.
Learn how to be comfortable with all your feelings.
Work on healing your hurts.
Decide that you’re going to live consciously.
Listen to your inner voice.

You don’t have to do all these things at once, try doing one at a time until it feels natural and move on to the next. The idea is to get to know yourself really well and live a life that reflects who you are deep inside. What will you do to increase your self-awareness?

Cheers,
Guy

Self-Awareness and the Horrible Neighbor

May 9, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy - 2 Comments

If you’ve ever had a horrible neighbor you’re familiar with someone who lacks self-awareness. People who behave negatively don’t know what else to do so they work out the hurts from their past and present on everyone they encounter. Here are some of the characteristics of horrible neighbors:

Pursue self-gratification before thinking of others.
Don’t consider other people’s needs.
Lack empathy.
Poor boundaries.
Arbitrary rule setting, what’s OK for them to do is not tolerated from others.
Act like bullies.
Lack basic interpersonal skills like communication or problem solving.
Refuse to change behavior, don’t believe in change.
Think the world is a tough, hard place and that everyone is out to get them.
History of poor relationships.

The reason I’m writing about this topic is that it’s a powerful test of your ability to take care of yourself rather than getting sucked into another person’s negativity. For example, you have the ability to steer clear of your neighbor’s negative behavior by:

Realizing it’s not about you.
Learning how to manage your emotions.
Reminding yourself how great you are.
Healing your own hurts.
Deciding that you’re not going to react negatively.
Living your life positively.
Behaving with kindness and compassion.
Continuing to pursue your dreams.
Making plans to leave this mess behind.
Focusing on your own personal growth.

You have a lot of power to behave any way you want when you encounter people who try to make things difficult. What will you do to move past the horrible neighbor?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Listen More Than Talk

May 9, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy - 3 Comments

A lot of people who lack self-awareness have been conditioned to believe that they need to talk a lot. We’ve all met a person who seems to be in love with the sound of their voice and rarely lets people into the conversation. What we sometimes forget is that communication is over 90% non-verbal which means that talking is just a small part of what we’re supposed to be doing.

Yet millions of people wake up every day ready to tell the world something rather than learning something from the world. We spend our time trying to tell our story rather than gaining more insight into others’ experiences. Think about your own style: Do you talk more or do you listen more? What would happen if you shifted your style just slightly. Self-aware people understand that getting their point across is often as much about understanding someone else’s point of view as it is putting one’s own opinion into the mix.

Here are some tips to help you add to your communication skills:

Try to listen more than you talk.
Ask open-ended questions.
Try not to think of the next thing you’re going to say.
Try not to think of the perfect rebuttal.
Stay away from questions that lead the conversation in a certain direction.
Let people say what they want and give them the space to do so.
Listen.
Did I mention listening?

The key skill we ignore in life is listening. It’s incredible what we learn when we take the time to really listen to someone. Suddenly we understand people better and can make decisions based on rich information. We avoid misunderstandings and we connect with people on a deeper level.

Perhaps the most powerful proof that listening helps improve our lives is that it allows us to breathe. We don’t have to fill up space, we don’t have to think of witty things to say and we get to learn all kinds of interesting things about others and relax more.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and listen more than talk?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Really Loving Yourself

May 8, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

A lot of people who lack self-awareness loudly proclaim that they respect and love themselves and then get trampled mercilessly by every person who comes into their lives. They also go from one broken heart to another wondering why it keeps happening to them. They never seem to heal or resolve their inner issues. Many people who don’t possess self-awareness navigate the waters of relationships focusing almost entirely on other people’s needs. They invest huge amounts of time and energy into making someone else happy or worrying about how they’re doing while ignoring the most important person in the room, themselves.

Why is it we go through such elaborate efforts to mold our lives around someone else only to find ourselves losing our self-identity and wishing for better relationships?

Somewhere along the way we lose sight of the importance of caring for ourselves. Being self-aware enough to take care of ourselves first is a critically important step in creating fulfilling relationships in our lives but we don’t do it consistently. We benefit from tending to our own needs first so we can be in great shape to attract positive, vibrant people into our lives and share great relationships. So how do we do that? The good news is that there are many straightforward things we can do, starting today, to take care of ourselves and begin the process of respecting and loving ourselves.

You can consciously become healthy and happy by healing your inner hurts, practicing self-love, and behaving in positive ways. Loving yourself requires getting to know who you are deep down inside and understanding how to tend to your own needs and treat yourself well. Only after you’re genuinely healthy and enjoy your own company can you invite other people in.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and really love yourself?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means Telling Yourself the Truth

May 7, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

A major element of self-awareness is telling yourself the truth about what’s going on in your life. When you do this you’re able to figure out what’s going well and what needs attention. Being truthful doesn’t mean beating yourself up, it’s just the act of acknowledging the areas you want to strengthen.

A lot of people spend their entire lives lying to themselves and doing things that don’t reflect who they really are deep inside. This leads to pain and misery for the person doing it and the people around him or her. Here are some signs you’re telling yourself the truth:

You know who you really are deep down inside.
Your words match your actions.
You follow your dreams.
You deal well with your emotions.
You’re not afraid of looking at the difficult issues in your upbringing and life in general.
You heal the parts of you that are damaged.
You make life easier for yourself and those around you.
You don’t lie about who you really are.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Try Not to Be the Problem in Relationships

May 6, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

People who lack self-awareness frequently become part of the problem in interpersonal relationships rather than helping devise a solution. This happens because they lose perspective and let other people goad them into conflict or chaos. Look at these scenarios and see if you can spot the difference between being part of the problem and not:

1. The other person gets angry and you immediately retaliate and/or defend yourself.

2. The other person gets angry and you ask them to tell you about it and you listen.

Guess which approach is more likely to get better results? There is a myth that we have to fight for our point of view and deny others theirs but this only perpetuates a communication style that is based on lack of self-awareness and perpetual conflict. If one person wins then the other loses. I much prefer for each person to win.

One of the best ways to reduce confrontation is to simply listen. The world is not going to end if you don’t retaliate or fight. In reality, you actually connect more with the other person if you just listen to them. You also benefit from not fighting.

People like to be valued and listened to and they are much more likely to work with you to resolve problems if they trust you to not trample all over them. The next time you feel a clash coming on, try listening to the other person without commenting, editorializing or offering your opinion. By doing this you will be setting the foundation for improved communication in the future.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and reduce conflict in your relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

What Is Self-Awareness? The Definition of Self-Awareness

May 6, 2023 - The Self-Awareness Guy

People frequently ask me, “What is self-awareness,” or what the definition of self-awareness is. Here are a few important elements of self-awareness I’ve noticed over years of coaching and facilitating workshops:

The ability to understand how your thoughts, feelings and actions affect not only you but also the people around you.
The ability to heal your hurts.
The ability to think, feel and behave consciously instead of unconsciously.
The ability to live authentically.
Understanding yourself at a deeper level rather than superficially.
Forging deeper relationships.
Making the world a better place for as many people as possible because you feel great about yourself.
Living life as the real you.
Integrating the various parts of your being.
Transcending your ego.

What is self-awareness? You get to decide and you’ll know you’re achieving it when you experience both the struggle and the elation that comes from looking within.

Cheers,

Guy