Self-Knowledge

Self-Awareness Helped Me Become the Person I Am Now - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helped Me Become the Person I Am Now

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I wasn’t always into self-awareness. The person I am now is very different from the one I was years ago. I used to be driven by the need to feel superior, obsessed with what others thought about me; the kind of person who would put other people down to feel better about himself. At the same time, I stuffed my feelings deep inside, tried to ignore them and, consequently, felt horribly unbalanced and unhappy most of the time.

I grew up in a competitive family where you had to fight to be seen and heard. I was not encouraged to acknowledge or work out any of my inner conflicts, I simply had to hold them in and try to appear invincible. My family was ill-equipped to deal with anything emotional. Sure, we knew how to be angry, or sad, or fake happy, but not how to really deal with the core issues that were troubling us. The only way I got any attention was to be dramatic or clown-like because everyone else was so busy sucking all the energy out of everything they touched. This environment taught me to keep things to myself.

When was in my teens, I was an insecure mess who didn’t know how to deal with himself or others. I was hurting constantly but was not allowed to talk about it. I didn’t know how to build positive relationships. In my twenties I had no idea who I was and treated myself poorly because of it. People on the outside would probably say that I was affable and outgoing, but inside I was a mess. I hurt a lot of people in my teens, twenties, and thirties because I didn’t know who I was.

Somewhere along the way I realized that I felt uneasy and disjointed because I wasn’t living life as myself. I had learned to conform to the wishes of my family or friends but I hadn’t learned to listen to my own inner voice. As soon as I discovered I could be myself, I started shedding all the garbage that had piled up on me and became a kinder, more empathic, more whole person. I pursued my own goals in life and worked hard to live genuinely. Gradually, I began building my self-awareness and healing the hurts from my past.

The person I am now barely resembles the one I used to be. I love being this person and hope it helps build a better world instead of one filed with strife and sadness. What kind of person are you right now?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means You Value Ongoing Progress - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Means You Value Ongoing Progress

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Ongoing progress means that we strive to develop self-awareness and expand our knowledge and understanding of ourselves, others, and the world around us. We consciously work on growing and are open to new experiences and insights. It’s the opposite of saying we’re fully cooked or that we can’t be taught new tricks.

It’s been my experience that people are capable of doing anything they decide to do as long as they keep an open mind. If someone wants to follow a certain path or reach a given goal, all it takes is deliberate action over time to make it happen. The tragedy is that, even though people have the ability to follow their dreams, they often settle for a version of themselves that stopped evolving in high school.

Although it’s more difficult, the key to being truly happy in life is to continue developing as a person and becoming more self-aware. It’s the difference between staying stuck doing the same thing over and over, and constantly exploring new and exciting horizons. What do you do to keep progressing?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Improve Your Communication Skills - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps You Improve Your Communication Skills

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People who possess self-awareness usually practice positive communication skills because they’re able to put aside their own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors and really connect with other people.

Have you ever suffered through a long conversation where the other person spent the whole time talking at you? That kind of communication style lacks self-awareness. Our society conditions us to believe that we need to talk a lot and fill up all the free space in the universe with words in order to demonstrate competence or credibility. This encourages people to speak up first, continue speaking and then speak some more at the first sign of any lull. We end up enduring conversations that are complete traffic jams of people all trying to outdo each other with bigger and better stories and facts.

We’ve all interacted with people who seem to be in love with the sound of their voice and rarely let others into the conversation. There are many reasons for this type of behavior but the main one is that they aren’t self-aware enough to realize communication isn’t only about them and that they can learn how to do it better. They don’t realize is that communication is over 90% non-verbal, which means that talking is just a small part of what we’re supposed to be doing.

Excellent communication begins with us. We each have the ability to either open the doors to a two-way exchange of information or slam them shut. We have a choice as to whether we spend our time spitting out our stories rather than gaining more insight into others’ experiences. Think about your own communication style: Do you talk more or do you listen more? What would happen if you shifted your style just slightly?

Highly effective communicators understand that getting their point across is often as much about understanding someone else’s perspective as it is putting one’s own input into the mix. Here are some tips to help you add to your communication skills:

1. Try to listen more than you talk.

2. Ask open-ended questions and give the other person time to answer.

3. Please stay away from questions that lead the conversation in a certain direction or only lead to a yes or no answer.

4. Try not to think of the next thing that you want to say.

5. Avoid thinking about the perfect rebuttal or your next magnificent story.

6. Allow people to say what they want and give them the space to do so.

7. Listen actively. Search online under “active listening.”

8. Did I mention listening?

We spend so much time talking that we ignore the most important element of communication. Listening opens up amazing new doors we never knew existed when we were flapping our gums. It’s incredible what we learn when we take the time to really listen to someone. Suddenly we understand people better and can make decisions based on rich, detailed information. We avoid misunderstandings and we connect with people on a deeper level. People also tend to trust us more because they can confide in us without being steamrollered.

In the end, it is up to us how we communicate. Self-aware communicators understand the value of listening and use it to communicate more effectively. Listening improves our interactions and allows us to breathe. We don’t have to fill up every space and constantly think of witty things to say. We get to learn all kinds of interesting information about others and relax more, and that makes our lives easier.

What will you do to build your self-awareness and improve your communications skills?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Experiencing Kindness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Experiencing Kindness

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Self-awareness plays a big part in how we treat ourselves and others. People who are self-aware tend to be mentally healthier and able to treat themselves and other people with kindness. The more whole you are, the more likely you are to be able to empathize and care for other human beings.

Experiencing kindness as a child is a major part of being able to practice compassion as an adult. People who have not had families where kindness was the norm tend to be skeptical that it exists because they didn’t experience it in their formative years.

Kindness is really just another way of saying that you’re self-aware and mentally healthy enough to treat people with love, you care for them as if they are precious and deserve great tenderness and respect. It’s the only way to live a truly fulfilling life because, when you treat others well, it tends to create positive vibes in the universe.

People who value self-awareness often think in terms of how to increase the kindness in the world, whether it is by writing about love or challenging injustice. How will you develop your self-awareness and spread kindness in the world?

Cheers,

Guy

How to Use Self-Awareness to Fix a Relationship Problem - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How to Use Self-Awareness to Fix a Relationship Problem

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Self-awareness can help you fix your relationship problems because, when the people involved understand and can manage their emotions, thoughts, and actions, they are in a good position to resolve the situation.

Many people experience difficulties in their relationships and don’t know what to do about them. They repeat an endless cycle of getting hurt, hurting back and perpetuating the hurt through their actions. It even happens in dating situations and marriages where both people are kind, intelligent and caring. So what is it that causes this conflict and what can we do to increase our self-awareness and do something about the issue? It helps to first examine why conflict occurs. Here are some of the causes:

  • Neither person understands the other person’s point of view.
  • There is not a meeting of the minds on issues.
  • Neither side backs down.
  • Each side tries to win.
  • Neither side has the skills or knowledge to fix the problem.
  • The people involved are hurt, angry, frustrated or sad.

The good news is that you can help your situation by being self-aware and thinking about new ways of doing things. The key point is to start a process where nobody wins and both of you collaborate to find a solution that works for everyone involved. Consider using the following ideas to begin increasing your self-awareness and connecting with your significant other in ways that will benefit both of you.

  • You both agree to talk.
  • Set up an interruption-free time to talk.
  • Agree on one thing to talk about.
  • Brainstorm possible ideas to fix the problem.
  • Evaluate each option.
  • Agree together on the resolution that works best for both of you.
  • Work together to take action on the resolution.
  • Move to the next problem.
  • Think about getting a neutral person involved to mediate.

I also encourage my clients to do away with the word “problem” and look at the challenges in life as opportunities for personal growth and movement in a more positive direction. Looking at challenging situations in a positive light gives you the opportunity to actually fix things rather than repeating the same patterns.

So the next time you are in the middle of a fight, redirect your thoughts to the possibility that both of you can work together and purposefully resolve the matter. What will you do to increase your self-awareness and fix your relationship problems?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Power of Positive Thinking - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and the Power of Positive Thinking

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Self-awareness is connected to positive thinking because, when you understand yourself deep inside, you’re able to focus your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a favorable direction.

I was recently facilitating a workshop with a group of people who had been through significant trauma in their lives and I posed the question, “Why is it that some people are able to move forward and others can’t?” Their responses included determination, resilience, and courage.

An answer I’ve found helpful is: People who overcome obstacles are those who develop their self-awareness so they are able to focus on the positive. This doesn’t mean that they minimize trauma or don’t acknowledge difficulties, it’s simply that they are able to understand themselves well enough to bypass the negative and concentrate on doing positive things.

Human beings have an amazing ability to move in any direction they want to. Right this moment you could take some small action to increase your self-awareness and change your life. All it takes is making a conscious decision to do something, anything. Being positive is about focusing on the things you can change and that you have control over.

We are able to change ourselves because we have control over what we do. Next time you feel like there is no hope, try doing one thing to interrupt those thoughts and that will move you in a positive direction. Time after time I’ve had clients tell me that all it took to change their lives was thinking positively about something they used to think of as negative.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and think positively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Doing Things Now - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Doing Things Now

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Did you know that you can use self-awareness to start doing things right now to improve your life. When you understand yourself deep inside, you’re better able to take action to transform your situation.

We spend so much time thinking about the things we could have done that we forget the power we have to change things in the present. It’s easy to get stuck in a mode where we replay past events or make up future possibilities but that never seems to affect the present.

Spending more time consciously working on the present is the only way to change your destiny. If you start today by telling yourself that you will work on something occurring in the present you will suddenly have command of your destiny and power to change whatever you want.

Try doing that today; find something that you keep hoping would happen in the past or future and re-focus it in the present. Ask yourself what you can do right now to affect something in your life right now. Doing stuff in the present helps us take our minds off all the things we have no control of and focuses our energy on the things we can change.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and make things happen right now?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy