Work Environment and Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness and Resilience - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Resilience

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Self-awareness helps you build resilience so you’re able to bounce back from any setback in your life. When you understand your strengths and areas for improvement, you’re able to adjust accordingly, acquire extra knowledge when necessary, and make positive decisions that reflect who you really are.

People who get stuck often lack the perspective to realize that they have other options in life. They’re so focused on one way of doing things that they overlook the many other opportunities that could help them be much more flexible and happy. As you increase your self-awareness you’ll begin to understand that you have a lot of talents and abilities inside you to work through difficult times. Even when obstacles seem insurmountable, you’ll be able to draw on your self-knowledge and live happily and authentically. What will you do to increase your resilience?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Everyone Being on the Same Page - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Everyone Being on the Same Page

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A frequently overlooked detail of team building is that it is most effective when everyone has self-awareness and is on the same page. If you’ve ever tried to build a team and had it go off course due to one or two individuals, you can be quite certain it’s because not everyone is self-aware enough to be on the same page and practice the same behaviors. For example: You’ve worked diligently to create a great team and then someone else joins the group who throws everything off-balance. Perhaps the person has a strong personality or different vision, he or she can make the whole team unravel.

The effect on teams of having even one person who lacks self-awareness and isn’t fully on board with the process is that your team is only as strong as that person. This happens a lot in organizations where much of the decision making is done by one leader and not by a team. In workplaces like that you get teams that function based on the perspective of one person rather than the input of many.

The challenge in team building is to create an environment where everyone has an important voice and is an equal part of the group instead of having one or two people making decisions for everyone else. A positive way to help your team members get on the same page is to set some basic guidelines for participation. Train everyone so that they understand that everyone’s voice is equal and that no one person is more valuable than the next. Make sure you have a  in your meetings who understands how to get rid of power differentials and the interactions that sidetrack successful team meetings. If a new person joins the group, bring them into the process and train them on the guidelines as well as encouraging team members to model positive behaviors. If someone insists on derailing the process keep reiterating the group guidelines and practicing the positive behaviors. Team building isn’t a one-shot process, it takes time and deliberate effort to make it work.

The idea with team building is to create an atmosphere where everyone feels included, valued, important and comfortable participating. This allows leaders to build teams that aren’t derailed by a strong personality or power differentials and, instead, move toward groups where everyone is highly motivated to participate. When everyone on the team is invited and encouraged to provide input you and your organization can achieve greater success because everyone will feel like contributing.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and create stronger teams?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leadership and Dealing with Emotions in the Workplace - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leadership and Dealing with Emotions in the Workplace

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Self-aware leaders know how to deal with emotions in the workplace because they are in touch with their and others’ ways of experiencing the world. They’re comfortable with themselves and able to connect with others on a deeper level.

Emotions in the workplace can be a challenging subject because, as leaders, we haven’t been taught what to do with them. The increase in our understanding of emotional intelligence now helps us deal more effectively with emotions in the workplace. We can do this when we understand what emotions mean and how we can create a workplace that encourages people to use them in a positive way.

Where does our discomfort with emotions come from? Many leaders I consult for tell me their stories about not being allowed to express emotions in their families or how there were only certain feelings that were allowed. In some families people aren’t allowed to show fear, in others they can’t be joyful, still others don’t permit sadness. Our parents and their parents before them going back generations didn’t realize that emotions aren’t something to suppress and avoid. Emotions are a natural part of being human. We were designed to feel joy, sadness, anger, fear, affection, loss, numbness and many variations on those themes.

Why did this happen? People lacked the self-awareness to realize that it’s OK to experience emotions. They kept hanging on to assumptions like sadness is weak or joy should be tempered. Oftentimes, it was due to having to survive and not appear weak.  There just weren’t that many alternatives available to our ancestors.

We now have studied the human mind enough to know that experiencing our emotions thoroughly and freely is actually beneficial to us and is a natural part of being a healthy person. It’s when we try to deny that emotions exist that we start making ourselves and each other miserable and creating problems in our lives and workplaces.

The paradox is that it’s  normal to be sad, happy, angry, scared or any feeling you have. If you think about it, they’re your feelings and you’re allowed to experience them. They’re part of being a healthy, self-aware individual.

When you get in touch with your emotions you become stronger and you get to experience life on a deeper level and connect with your colleagues and employees in a different way. Emotions are here to help you. They signal when you are doing great and when you’re not. They aren’t scary or undesirable, they’re just there. Think of all the leaders and employees in the world who work in pain because they deny their emotions. Now think how different their lives and workplace might be if they would just let themselves experience them.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and deal with emotions in the workplace positively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Respect - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Respect

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness / , , ,

Respect is a word that gets thrown around a lot by people who lack self-awareness but that isn’t always clearly defined. This leaves everyone guessing and doing different things that may or may not lead to respect. We sometimes ask for respect from others or we strive hard to be respectful in our relationships but we don’t always ask for it for ourselves. We may find ourselves in relationships where we give all the respect in the world and get little or none in return.

So what creates this uncertain, rocky landscape when it comes to respect? It’s often caused by lack of self-awareness and because people don’t really know what respect is. I simply define respect as loving yourself and others, and thinking and behaving kindly toward yourself and others.

The important thing is for you to define it in a way that works for you and that you can clearly communicate to others. We often do not receive respect because we do not tell people what we need and we don’t take action to educate them. We essentially give other people the power to treat us negatively and not respect us. These patterns keep repeating because we don’t know what else to do. As we begin our journey toward asking for respect it is helpful to define the term. In romance and relationships, respect may be defined as someone allowing us be who we are, to help us and encourage us to grow, to share our triumphs and disappointments, to listen to us and to make us feel great. So how do we find this elusive thing called respect?

A logical starting point in the quest to respect ourselves is increasing our self-awareness and figuring out what we want out of our relationships and how we want to be treated. If we don’t know what we want, then how can we expect others to fulfill our wishes? Think in terms of defining who you are as a person and what is important to you. The second step toward honoring ourselves is to ask for respect from others. This is accomplished by asking the significant people in our lives for what we need. It’s our job to educate others about how we would like to be treated. As you’ve probably noticed, people aren’t mind readers – we have to tell them what we want. Many of us believe that people will just automatically understand how to respect us but, for the most part, people treat us exactly like we show them how to. We get results based on what we put out. If you act like a doormat you will attract people who will treat you like one. If you act healthy and balanced you will attract that kind of people.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and respect yourself and others?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Possess Emotional Intelligence - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leaders Possess Emotional Intelligence

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Emotional intelligence and self-aware leadership are intimately linked because leaders who are able to deal with and manage their (and other people’s) emotions get more work done with less effort and build healthier workplaces.

Many leaders and employees get nervous when the topic of emotions in the workplace comes up. Emotions are important in the workplace because they affect how we all function and relate to one another. Emotions matter because we aren’t robots, we’re human beings who have feelings whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.

The mistake many leaders who lack self-awareness make is trying to ignore, redirect, or suppress their employees’ natural feelings. This creates workplaces where people aren’t sure how to express their emotions and where things can quickly go out of control.

The officially sanctioned workplace feelings are: anger, numbness and fake happiness. Beyond that, people quickly become uncomfortable. Here are some ideas to help leaders and employees develop their self-awareness and emotional intelligence; welcome all the emotions they experience; and deal with them openly and comfortably:

  • When someone has an emotion let it happen and be there for them without reacting negatively or defensively.
  • Listen to what people have to say when they’re feeling an emotion.
  • Avoid ignoring or pretending the emotion isn’t happening.
  • Stay away from saying things like, “Get over it,” “Everything’s OK,” or “Calm yourself down.” Phrases like these tell the person that their emotions don’t matter.
  • Move past the, “This isn’t appropriate in the workplace,” mentality to, “What can we learn from this situation and how can we validate people.”
  • Deal with emotions when they are manageable to avoid having to try to contain them when they’re out of control.
  • Institute a true open-door policy where people can talk with you about what they’re feeling without any fear of retaliation or punishment.
  • Work on your own ability to deal with any emotion that comes your way, including the ones you feel.
  • Set a positive example of how to express emotions appropriately.

The goal at work (and in life) is to view emotions as an indication that something is going on rather than a threat that has to be avoided at all costs. When you and your employees understand that emotions are a normal part of work life, you’ll all build a happier, more balanced workplace where people feel safe to express themselves honestly and openly.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be an emotionally intelligent leader?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Try Not to Be the Problem in Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware People Try Not to Be the Problem in Relationships

/ / Self and Self-Awareness, Self-Awareness, Self-Consciousness / , , ,

People who lack self-awareness frequently become part of the problem in interpersonal relationships rather than helping devise a solution. This happens because they lose perspective and let other people goad them into conflict or chaos. Look at these scenarios and see if you can spot the difference between being part of the problem and not:

1. The other person gets angry and you immediately retaliate and/or defend yourself.

2. The other person gets angry and you ask them to tell you about it and you listen.

Guess which approach is more likely to get better results? There is a myth that we have to fight for our point of view and deny others theirs but this only perpetuates a communication style that is based on lack of self-awareness and perpetual conflict. If one person wins then the other loses. I much prefer for each person to win.

One of the best ways to reduce confrontation is to simply listen. The world is not going to end if you don’t retaliate or fight. In reality, you actually connect more with the other person if you just listen to them. You also benefit from not fighting.

People like to be valued and listened to and they are much more likely to work with you to resolve problems if they trust you to not trample all over them. The next time you feel a clash coming on, try listening to the other person without commenting, editorializing or offering your opinion. By doing this you will be setting the foundation for improved communication in the future.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and reduce conflict in your relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

Soft-Skills Training Doesn't Work for Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Soft-Skills Training Doesn’t Work for Leaders Who Lack Self-Awareness

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership / , , ,

As part of my self-awareness consulting services, I design soft-skills training programs that help leaders create happier workplaces and I’ve noticed a recurring pattern over the years: Many people think that you can change behaviors overnight. They talk earnestly with me about team building or effective communication and expect that a one-day training will resolve everything. I’ve even had leaders and HR managers who lack self-awareness ask me to change how their employees communicate in one hour.

People mean well but the reality is that it takes considerable time and effort for training to take root in an organization. Otherwise it has little chance of having any impact. Here are ten practical ideas to improve your chances of success:

  1. Commit to training on an ongoing basis. It helps to have a set time and place for the training that people can rely on.
  2. Support employees so they can keep practicing the new skills they acquire.
  3. Involve leadership from the very beginning and have them be present and participating actively in the training.
  4. Don’t try to do it on the cheap. Your investment up-front often determines your long-term training success.
  5. Focus on improving behaviors.
  6. Conduct repeated training people can count on.
  7. Attendance isn’t optional.
  8. Set goals so you can measure success.
  9. Train trainers so they can keep the process going.
  10. Make the training part of your company culture.

Leaders who don’t do these things are the ones who lack self-awareness and lament that soft-skills training doesn’t work. Those who decide to focus on these areas find that the training they provide has a much better chance at succeeding. It almost always depends on how committed leadership is to making it work and whether they’re in it for the long-term.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and make sure your training works?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy